mr82 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I'll try to make this as short as possible. Hi, im have always been a shy guy, and have always been shy about asking a girl out. I really have a crush this girl i was working with for one month back in december, he would always touch my arm when we talked and would say things like "i like you, your really nice", but i just assumed she was being nice. Anyhow at a party on her last day we were really drunk and she said again that she likes me and we kissed. Me being me i put it down to her being drunk and did'nt want to embarrass by mentioning it. She left the department and rotated to another, whenever i see her around we smile and just say hi and talk about general things. The other day on friday, i happened to bump into her at a bar, she was with friends, and asked if me and my friend to come with them to a club, which we did. So again after a few drinks she was hugging me and kissing me telling me that she likes/loves me. Because i did'nt want to mess things up this time i told her that i really like her too, and when i had to leave, because i had work the next day, she gave me a big snog and said that i better call her and made me promise. The next day i called but she didn't answer, i thought that since i have her number and she does not have mine it must be showling as unknown, so i sent her a text. So we're at sunday now she finally texts me back, but is very vague in her replies, where i make it obvious that it was her that i liked spending time with. e.g. me, "yeah ____ i really had a good time with you" her, "I had a good time with you guys too glad you both came" She text saying that it not a good time to call now because she has to go to sleep as she has a test tomorrow. so i text her "goodluck goodnight, maybe another time then. xxx" she replied "goodnight mate" Now i dont want to come across to strong, so i was thinking of waiting a few days before calling again, because i really do like her. Its just that last message thats bothering me she called me MATE? What does this mean? Will i be wasting my time asking her out? because as i've said i have always been shy, and is she say's no i'll be depressed for weeks.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 She was being fairly forward and aggressive and you were just being too shy. You might be easy prey for a girl like this though, she might have just wanted to flirt with you and see if she could gain your interest for a moment....then once she kissed you and nothing really came of it she just kind of got over it. You can't just sit on the fence and not make moves, and you can't just let women have all the power by being shy, it shows you lack confidence. You know why the douchebags even get women? because women take that as confidence, even if they are full of hot air and BS...to many women that's "confidence" in particular younger ones who are insecure. At any rate, I don't want to focus on that dynamic...what I'm saying is you have to have confidence in yourself enough to make a move, and you can't be too afraid of rejection...you can't treat it like the end of the world and you've got to take advantage of the "moment". The moment is a big deal and sometimes it passes you by and sometimes you get another chance, and depending on what you make of it during that time can drastically change the outcome of that interaction. Women can come in and out of interest pretty easily, there's always another guy that can pop up on the radar or someone showing strong interest, so you can't really afford to sit on the fence with women you are interested in...you can't just take your time and build up the courage to make a move or rely on coincidences alone. You don't have to be such a "nice guy", you're being too nice, too timid and not assertive enough...learn and practice to react, when it hits you and feels right that's when you do it...you don't wait till later then try to "recapture" that moment...the moment has already passed, it's like when you go somewhere and see something you wanted to do but say to yourself "I'll just do it next time"...then the next time you go it ain't there or moved on. You better start practicing and getting out of your comfort zone, these women aren't going to sit on the sidelines just for you, you won't even show up on the radar...take some chances and leaps of faith, be confident and assertive even if you feel like an @ss, it's apart of being a man...you gotta take it hit to the face sometimes, but you'll have the knowledge and experience and it won't blow up on you always, and you'll get better at engaging these women sooner, while their interest is hot. Personally I'd lay off now, and just let it be...i don't think you've got any leverage and she blew you off IMO.
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