fruitmelon123 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Meet this girl online, Been talking to her for 8months now and we have been on about 5dates & one of which being at my apartment. During the dates we always got close and shared feelings/attraction towards eachother. I'm 6ft.3, good smile, good hair, skin, slim, gentle but very shy as I get nervous easy but I'm not the type to sleep around as I've been with 1girl which she even knows. However i've kissed her and had touchy moments where she seemed to be falling for me. But she always rebounds back to chat with guys on the dating website. In fact she is on it as we speak. Why is she doing this ? Seriously I'm like the perfect guy for a girl ? Anyway I've decided to move on but this relationship will always bother me as to what the answer is with her.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) You may have lacked the confidence to really woo her. Or some other quality she is looking for in a man. And from the sound of it, you were falling more for her than she was with you, but took too long to get comfortable with her and make a move. I'm not sure of your age, but "stats" on paper just get your foot in the door, they don't close the deal. You can't just have X and X, then magically everything works out for you....sometimes it will, but not always...it's likely why she went on 5 dates with you instead of zero. Also your inexperience will lead you to believe you are a better "catch" than you are, you're not a woman and chances are you don't think even close to one, so why would you be the judge to determine how much of a catch you are to women? oh right...the "stats". Some girl will eventually sweep you up and as a "fixer upper" since you might have the superficial qualities she's looking for, or some might just be happy with the way you are and are inexperienced as well so like to take things at a very slow pace. Bottom line is don't let it bother you, she could be the type of girl that dates around for all you know...notorious multi-dater seeing which guy has the most "game" and can woo her like it's some competition and she's the grand prize. Or maybe she just didn't "feel it"...you can't force chemistry and there's you do "wrong" for something that just happens naturally. It doesn't matter though, don't dwell on it...it's one woman, just learn from the experience and take is as practice and incompatibility, get out there and try again with someone else. You have a lot to learn before even thinking you're the "perfect guy", none of the qualities you mentioned in this post make you perfect. Edited March 4, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas
clia Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Been talking to her for 8months now and we have been on about 5dates & one of which being at my apartment. This is your problem. Five dates in eight months? Why so few dates? You never took the ball and ran with it. Maybe she did/does like you, but you don't seem serious about having an actual relationship with her, given the lack of frequency that you are seeing her. Why have you never stepped up?
Author fruitmelon123 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 This is your problem. Five dates in eight months? Why so few dates? You never took the ball and ran with it. Maybe she did/does like you, but you don't seem serious about having an actual relationship with her, given the lack of frequency that you are seeing her. Why have you never stepped up? well she works like 6 out of 7 days long hours and never has time to see me, I was serious and didn't want to spoil things by trying moves on her but I took a friends advice and text her sexual stuff...yh she basically ignored me for 4months after that so I gave up on her but then she came out of nowhere again after a month of not speaking 3weeks ago asking when I last got laid, be my valentine and talking about dating. So after 4months of not speaking I met her last week and she seemed up for me but the day after she was off...another thing is I'm the only guy tagged on dates on her fb wall and all her friends I don't know leave comments saying ooo with brad etc....so why say no to all my date requests for 4 months ? So then I stop texting her for a month and then she chases me but nw wants to be friends
Author fruitmelon123 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 You may have lacked the confidence to really woo her. Or some other quality she is looking for in a man. And from the sound of it, you were falling more for her than she was with you, but took too long to get comfortable with her and make a move. I'm not sure of your age, but "stats" on paper just get your foot in the door, they don't close the deal. You can't just have X and X, then magically everything works out for you....sometimes it will, but not always...it's likely why she went on 5 dates with you instead of zero. Also your inexperience will lead you to believe you are a better "catch" than you are, you're not a woman and chances are you don't think even close to one, so why would you be the judge to determine how much of a catch you are to women? oh right...the "stats". Some girl will eventually sweep you up and as a "fixer upper" since you might have the superficial qualities she's looking for, or some might just be happy with the way you are and are inexperienced as well so like to take things at a very slow pace. Bottom line is don't let it bother you, she could be the type of girl that dates around for all you know...notorious multi-dater seeing which guy has the most "game" and can woo her like it's some competition and she's the grand prize. Or maybe she just didn't "feel it"...you can't force chemistry and there's you do "wrong" for something that just happens naturally. It doesn't matter though, don't dwell on it...it's one woman, just learn from the experience and take is as practice and incompatibility, get out there and try again with someone else. You have a lot to learn before even thinking you're the "perfect guy", none of the qualities you mentioned in this post make you perfect. Shes 20 and I'm 22, Yeah your right I was falling for her more than she was for me looking at it but she does have feelings for me for sure but it wasn't enough, Thanks for the wise words.
spiderowl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I really don't understand why guys think that because they have some, or many of the qualities a girl says she wants, that therefore they are the right one. Qualities are one thing - and wonderful too - but personal chemistry and personality matters a lot too. On dating sites, I have seen guys with interests listed as snooker, darts and the pub, a total inability to write a simple sentence and nothing else to say for themselves on their profile, ask why a multi-talented woman wasn't interested in him when he was kind, loving and wanted to settle down. It's sort of obvious to everyone else. I am not saying there is anything wrong with you at all. What I am saying is that mutual attraction isn't as simple as wanting the same things. We are all looking for someone that feels right for us. It's a shame if it's not mutual, in fact it's very painful, but it's very common. Most of us will meet and date a lot of people who we don't fall for in the end, before we meet the one we do. It's the same for guys too.
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