scangie Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 I went out with a guy for the 1st time last night -- we had a great time. We went to a restaurant, and stayed so late talking that the staff had to kick us out! We also had great chemistry - a few HOT kisses to end the evening. When I got up this morning, I had an email from him -- I was thinking it would say something like, "I had a great time, when can I see you again, etc." Instead, it was just friendly -- asking me if I slept well, telling me his plans for the day, telling me he hoped my baking session went well (I had to bake a cake for a friend's party this afternoon). So... I don't know whether to be encouraged because he got in touch with me so quickly after the date, or to be discouraged because he hasn't asked me out again & didn't mention anything about our date. What do you think? Is he interested or not?
uriel Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 Yes, he's interested. He's indicated that by writing. He's not salivating all over you, because that often turns girls off. And, maybe that's not his style. But he's definitely trying to connect and keep the conversation going. Very good sign. -- uriel
honey2005 Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 I agree, it seems like he's definitely interested. The fact that he emailed you so soon after your date was a good sign of that.
Scangie Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 Thanks uriel & honey2005. I emailed him back yesterday evening and he responded within a couple of hours -- still no mention of further plans, though. He certainly seems to be interested, otherwise he wouldn't write back so fast, right? I guess he is just trying to play it cool. He doesn't have to, though, because I really like him! Oh well, men!
scangie Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Thanks uriel & honey2005! I still continue to be puzzled about this, though. I wrote him back yesterday & he responded within an hour or so. I thought, "Well, that's a good sign that he is so eager to get back to me!" I answered his 2nd email this morning, and I just heard back from him again. All of the emails have been very friendly and nice, but still nothing about a 2nd date. In my experience, guys either like you and ask for the 2nd date right away, or they don't like you & you never hear from them again!!! I don't know what to do with this guy who keeps communicating with me, but doesn't seem concerned with asking me out again. Any tips?
krbshappy71 Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 RELAX, holy cow! It was a date! You had a good time and he is emailing, why are you freaking out? Do you have some mysterious time-table you are expecting him to be on? Within 24 hours he has to ask you out? Man, relax and enjoy the dating scene, quit worrying about him and go find something to do, if he asks he asks if not then he doesn't, nothing to get all worked up about. If you are too eager he is going to sense that and it will send him packing. Just enjoy this process, date other people, go out with friends, etc. Fill up your life and you wont notice the time that goes by until he asks you out, IF he even does so. It was one date, give the guy a break. Okay I'm done, sorry to go off but so many people seem to overanalyze the dating scene, just enjoy it!
uriel Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 He's probably emailing to get a sense of whether YOU are interested. Your responding so quickly may lead him to think yes. But you're playing it cool somewhat too. Why not send a bigger hint that you're interested, such as mentioning again how much fun you had with him -- not in general, but about something specific that happened. And I'm with the other poster -- don't sweat it. He's working his way around to it or he wouldn't be mailing. Don't feel so much pressure with a first date; if you communicate that, you'll suggest you're insecure / desperate. Trust your charms and intuition . -- uriel
Scangie Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 Just wanted to say thanks for all the input on this thread!! I'm still just getting emails from him, so in my last one, I was more flirty than the others -- I hope this works! You're right, though -- I do need to chill out! I have dated a string of losers all summer, so I am getting overly worked up about this one that seems to have good potential.
SoReady Posted September 8, 2004 Posted September 8, 2004 Hi, I'm new to this forum. Anyway I saw what everyone above me had to say and I saw what you've said too. Now what I have to say is why dont YOU ask HIM about a 2nd date? Maybe just say "so when do you wanna hang out again?" Try that. Obviously he's interested or else he wouldn't be wasting his time emailing you. Just give it a try. L8tr.
Scangie Posted September 9, 2004 Posted September 9, 2004 An update on this situation: The guy I went out with continues to email, but still no official requests for a second date. Here's the thing: I noticed this morning that he had taken down his profile on match.com (that's how we met). That seems like a good sign -- like he is interested in focusing on me (although he is just starting his own small business, and has gotten a bunch of new clients in the past week, so maybe he is just taking a break from dating to focus on work). I know I probably should just ask him out myself, but for some reason, I think that might scare him off. Any thoughts?
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