ChickLee13 Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and in that time we have not been physical at all. He was in a relationship with his ex for 5 years and he was commited to her. She cheated on him and he was hurt really bad. We started dating 12 months after they broke up and I thought he was ready to be in a relationship again. He told me he was. I was excited to be dating him b/c we had been friends for 8 years and I thought being in a relationship with him would be great. We have never been physical, he hugs me and he kisses me but its like a kiss you give to a friend. There has been no hand holding, touching my leg or anything. Its frustrating cause i'm a very affectionate person and I always have been. He was never brought up in an affectionate home. He was affectionate with his ex, he told me that and he told me they did everything but have sex. And i'm not asking for sex, i'm looking for him to hold my hand, caress me, treat me like a boyfriend should. I've questioned myself so many times, thinking there's something wrong with me. I have a physical disability, i'm missing both my thumbs. I thought that was a problem but he reassured me it wasnt. But i dont know what the problem is. He's come up with different reasons as to why. First it was we should take our time cause we need to build a relationship on trust and other foundations first. I was ok with that, but that lasted 6 months. Than it was the biggest hurdle he told me he thought he was bi-sexual. I was going back to college 2 weeks after he told me that and he said we would see how the next couple months go. So he kept me distant from him emotionally and physically for the whole year. Lastly, it was the distance cause i was at school 3 hours away. I've since graduated from college and I thought things would be different once i got home. The truth is things seem to be at a standstill and I dont know what to do. I love him so much and he loves me too but love doesnt seem to be enough without the affection. I'm 23 and i want to get married someday and have children and I think if he would try to work things out we could have a great relationship. Thing is i'm tired of waiting, i've been patient and waited this long. I just dont know what to do If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it...i think it would help me
emra Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he is bi, maybe not. I don't really understand that either. I will say that if you have brought all this up to him and have been honest with him and it is still not going anywhere, I would figure out how to move on. That just seems weird to me. I need the hugs and the kisses, not so much the holding the hands. That is part of a relationship. At one time or another, we have all had a bad relationship, whether it be with a boyfriend/girlfriend or just a friend. People shouldn't use that against you. You are not his ex. Maybe there is more to it then you know?? I wish I could help you.. I know it has to be very frustrating.
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