lady_v Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 and it didn't go as well as I'd hoped for. I told the guy that I like this weekend that I had a huge crush on him, which I'm pretty sure he knew anyway. he told me that just before he had met me, he had been dumped from an online relationship with a girl from Kuwait (well, out of the blue one day, the girl stopped talking with him and really hasn't talked with him about a year) and that when he and I started being bedroom cozy, he didn't expect us to have a relationship. stupid me, I've already started falling for him, even if he doubles as one of my better friends. despite the disappointment, I still spent Saturday night at his house after we went out for dinner (in part to me being a bit tipsy, which did help me tell him of my affections). he spooned me most of the night and was so close that I don't think there was even an inch between us, he even commented saying that I smelled really good. today, we mixed a recording of his band's music and he told me he is a boring person. I said I was equally boring, when I'm not at work, I'm at home, drinking Scotch and painting something or another. he tells me I can come over and set up my easel in his living room and paint at his house. we made plans for me to come over next weekend as well, even though I've just been friends with benefits zoned. hot & cold. hot & cold. I can't read his mind, nor do I expect to, but I wish I understood more of his motives. sigh.
rocketman122 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 and it didn't go as well as I'd hoped for. I told the guy that I like this weekend that I had a huge crush on him, which I'm pretty sure he knew anyway. he told me that just before he had met me, he had been dumped from an online relationship with a girl from Kuwait (well, out of the blue one day, the girl stopped talking with him and really hasn't talked with him about a year) and that when he and I started being bedroom cozy, he didn't expect us to have a relationship. stupid me, I've already started falling for him, even if he doubles as one of my better friends. despite the disappointment, I still spent Saturday night at his house after we went out for dinner (in part to me being a bit tipsy, which did help me tell him of my affections). he spooned me most of the night and was so close that I don't think there was even an inch between us, he even commented saying that I smelled really good. today, we mixed a recording of his band's music and he told me he is a boring person. I said I was equally boring, when I'm not at work, I'm at home, drinking Scotch and painting something or another. he tells me I can come over and set up my easel in his living room and paint at his house. we made plans for me to come over next weekend as well, even though I've just been friends with benefits zoned. hot & cold. hot & cold. I can't read his mind, nor do I expect to, but I wish I understood more of his motives. sigh. what did you expect to happen, a marriage proposal? seems to be going fine to me. slow down and rest your mind. its on overtime. hot and cold? thats how relationships are sometimes. maybe hes just slow. relax. alls good.
ascendotum Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 You did not not get an outright rejection, but his reaction does sound pretty non committal (which you are correctly reading between the lines imo). I don't see what the girl from Kuwait has to do with your relationship. I gather he was alluding to you being a rebound...a rebound from a digital gf that he only talked to via a screen. Anyway if that's his reason for not going any further, its as good as any to realize you are not going to be the new love of his life it looks like. You seem to realize where you stand...'just been friends with benefits zoned', so that's some consolation that you are not going to be strung along with vague hopes that this will turn into something more. If you can't handle that think about maybe leaving the oils at home when you hang out at his place, so you have nothing to keep you there at night.
Author lady_v Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 a little background on us: we met in June through mutual friends, he did not get my number until September, we did not start fooling around together until November. since then, well mostly since January, I go to the bar or a restaurant, or at least go out, with him almost every weekend. we watch tv at his house, I get to sit in on his band's album recordings. he hugs me, he holds my hand, kisses me hello and goodbye and inbetween. he acts like he would be my boyfriend when we're out in public, and often in private too, but there is no such formal relationship to us. we're just friends. friends with benefits. friends who watch bizarre (and, separately sexy) porn with eachother, make out in bars together, have mutually amazing sexings with eachother, go out on what could possibly be dates with eachother (if it's not hanging out), share beers with eachother.... sigh.
NateC Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 a little background on us: we met in June through mutual friends, he did not get my number until September, we did not start fooling around together until November. since then, well mostly since January, I go to the bar or a restaurant, or at least go out, with him almost every weekend. we watch tv at his house, I get to sit in on his band's album recordings. he hugs me, he holds my hand, kisses me hello and goodbye and inbetween. he acts like he would be my boyfriend when we're out in public, and often in private too, but there is no such formal relationship to us. we're just friends. friends with benefits. friends who watch bizarre (and, separately sexy) porn with eachother, make out in bars together, have mutually amazing sexings with eachother, go out on what could possibly be dates with eachother (if it's not hanging out), share beers with eachother.... sigh. Sounds like you need to have a talk with him. I mean, honestly "boyfriend/girlfriend" is just a label, but sometimes that's important and if it is he'll understand.
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