clw Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I came here as I have no one to talk to..I’m looking for some answers before I go crazy.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Here’s a little about my situation; I’m a mother of a 7 year old child, and in a rocky marriage. I met Mr K 2 years ago at work (he’s 8 years younger than me) and we had a wonderful relationship after I became single. K was really great and patient, he gave in to me in many ways. We had several wonderful vacations together. But of course, I never get to meet his friends or know his family at a personal level. Our relationship was a ‘secret’ so to say.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]About a month ago, he decided he had enough and wanted to started dating and find a partner to settle down as he don’t see any future for us and our communication has been going downslope. That was the only reason he gave. I had little choice but to agree. We kept conversations to the minimum, and avoided contact as much as we could (since we work together). About 1 week ago, we went on a overseas trip as it was planned and everything was paid for before he decided to ‘call it off’. We went ahead with the trip and had sxx everyday, he held my hands whenever we were out and I ask him once if he still love me and he replied he did. We never talk about our relationship and just enjoyed the vacation. [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri] So fast track back, when we came back, everything was back to before we went on that vacation, cold and distant.. we weren’t texting or talking like a couple, I was so confused with the mixed signals, and I text him 2 days ago, if he could tell me what’s on his mind, are we on or off? He replied immediately in a cold tone not to ask him anything as he was in a really bad mood. I left it as it is, with no answer, no closure. He would send me an occasional text and some days non at all. We have not met up since the vacation and have not talked about ‘us’. I keep having this feeling that he still loves me but just can’t find a solution to our problem. Or am I imagining it up and all he wants is out? Do I ask to talk or discuss us again? Or it should be as it is?[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I see a lot of wise advise and words here. I really hope someone could enlighten me. I’m carrying this baggage with me everyday..crying my heart out..not being able to let go or move on…Looking out for any signs and reconciling. I’m at wits end. Thank you for your time.[/sIZE][/FONT]
cdt76 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 First of all why was the relationship a secret? Because of age? That's a dumb reason to keep something a secret. Second, it's not a relationship if two people don't share their lives and family together. He was using you or he might have had a steady girlfriend you didn't know about. But he definitely wasn't in the relationship for the same reasons you were.
Author clw Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Firstly thank you for your reply. I can make some sense of what you said as I feel this so often when I was with him and was very insecure about it. He said that age was one, and the other was that I was going through seperation and stuff so mainly had to keep the r/s in a low profile. I can be quite certain he didn't have any steady girlfriend but there were several occasions that he was out 'looking' (flirting on FB, etc). I feel terribly useless
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