empirestate87 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) BEWARE LONG POST Hey everybody, I'm new and I just need advice that I probably already know but want strangers to reaffirm I guess. I met this girl on Match and after exchanging emails for a couple of days she decided to give me her number and I texted her that same night. We texted each other back and forth for about a week. And we seemed to gel really well. She was interested in the fact that I'm a virgin and never been in a relationship and found it sexy (the virgin part). She told me she's attracted to me and can't wait to meet me. We talked on the phone twice and I really started to like her (without even meeting her yet). Things seemed to be on the up and up. We speak via text--sending sometimes dirty messages to each other (well mostly me, but she likes them lol). However a week ago, I noticed that when I would send her a text she would take forever to respond if she ever responded at all. One time, I tried calling her--no response. I freaked and chose the nuclear option and deleted her number and all her texts (this is over the course of three days). I was ready to move on and just find someone else. Then she texts me back and tells me that she's been sick (I believe her because she told me about some stomach issues she had). Then I go to my match profile and it says "active within one hour." I ask myself, she has time to go on Match but not respond to my texts/calls? I drop it and I say to myself, I need to relax. However, I get the feeling that she isn't interested anymore. I brought this to her attention and she said she is but it has been really busy (she's still in school and works two part time jobs). I've decided to believe her, even though she's been just a busy as before and still managed to text me in adequate time. We've basically told each other that we're interested in only each other and that the only thing keeping us from each other is distance (I live on Long Island and she lives in upstate NY). Now, the only reason we haven't actually met yet (since we're only 3 hrs away from each other) is because I had no job until recently and I couldn't afford to see her and treat her (yes I was that broke). (I told her that once I have the funds, I'll go upstate and treat her and have fun). My question is, am I bugging out for no reason since she takes a long time to respond or is this cause for concern? Any advice (even tough-love ones) will help. I really like this girl. For some reason I think this will help. But this is what I look like. Here Edited March 4, 2013 by empirestate87
SJC2008 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Welcome to online dating, it's over, get used to it. Don't ever get your hopes up about someone you meet online until you're exclusive and both of you have cancelled your accounts. 1
CudLRoo Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I've been experimenting very recently with online dating and it's just spooky to me, too EASY and disposable. Christ, I got so drunk/stoned last nite that I shot out loads of random messages to girlies on POF, and if you multiply the amount of males doing that, then just figure how much she's got goin' on behind your back. It's depressing. Like my granny always used to say, "don't put all your eggs in one basket." I find it hard not to, too! PS: It's funny you mention 'buggin out' cos I think you look a bit like Phife Dawg from ATCQ, maybe his bigger brother. Soz, random, been listening to ATCQ tonite, lol! 1
Author empirestate87 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Welcome to online dating, it's over, get used to it. Don't ever get your hopes up about someone you meet online until you're exclusive and both of you have cancelled your accounts. I don't think it's over but I am weary and slowly becoming less invested.
Imajerk17 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) BEWARE LONG POST Hey everybody, I'm new and I just need advice that I probably already know but want strangers to reaffirm I guess. I met this girl on Match and after exchanging emails for a couple of days she decided to give me her number and I texted her that same night. We texted each other back and forth for about a week. And we seemed to gel really well. She was interested in the fact that I'm a virgin and never been in a relationship and found it sexy (the virgin part). She told me she's attracted to me and can't wait to meet me. We talked on the phone twice and I really started to like her (without even meeting her yet). Things seemed to be on the up and up. After I read this paragraph I already pretty much knew that this wasn't going to end well. Getting excited before you even met is a rookie mistake (that I have made myself.) When someone comes on that strong before you even met, there is likely going to be a fade--either before or after the date. That's not to say you didn't contribute though.... We speak via text--sending sometimes dirty messages to each other (well mostly me, but she likes them lol). However a week ago, I noticed that when I would send her a text she would take forever to respond if she ever responded at all. One time, I tried calling her--no response. I freaked and chose the nuclear option and deleted her number and all her texts (this is over the course of three days). I was ready to move on and just find someone else. Then she texts me back and tells me that she's been sick (I believe her because she told me about some stomach issues she had). Then I go to my match profile and it says "active within one hour." I ask myself, she has time to go on Match but not respond to my texts/calls? I drop it and I say to myself, I need to relax. However, I get the feeling that she isn't interested anymore. I brought this to her attention and she said she is but it has been really busy (she's still in school and works two part time jobs). I've decided to believe her, even though she's been just a busy as before and still managed to text me in adequate time. We've basically told each other that we're interested in only each other and that the only thing keeping us from each other is distance (I live on Long Island and she lives in upstate NY). Now, the only reason we haven't actually met yet (since we're only 3 hrs away from each other) is because I had no job until recently and I couldn't afford to see her and treat her (yes I was that broke). (I told her that once I have the funds, I'll go upstate and treat her and have fun). So you basically have no plans to meet and she is losing interest. A girl isn't going to wait forever for the first date for a guy who doesn't even have the ambition to get a job. Especially if she has two jobs herself AND is in school... And yet it appears she is stringing you along.... I wouldn't be surprised if she met someone else--OR found her next victim. My question is, am I bugging out for no reason since she takes a long time to respond or is this cause for concern? Any advice (even tough-love ones) will help. I really like this girl. For some reason I think this will help. But this is what I look like. HereYou're a decent-looking guy but that has nothing to do with it. Anyway sorry but things with this girl are grim. You didn't strike when the iron is hot (to meet up--due to your job situation) and it appears she moved on. Then again though, I think even if you did meet up, she would have lost interest. It's just tough to unwind this precisely--was it your not being able to meet that did this in, or does she do this sort of hit-and-run thing a lot? Probably it was both. You live near New York City. The biggest city in the US. Can't you find anyone closer to you? Edited March 4, 2013 by Imajerk17
Author empirestate87 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 I do have job now. I'm just waiting for my paycheck and once everything is paid for, I'll come up there and see her. But you may be right (and it started off so well). I've messaged a lot of girls and yet only a handful have ever replied with an interest of potentially dating me and those never worked out. I'm starting to think this online dating this is crap and if things don't work out with this girl...I'm out. A year of this kind of crap and no results. But thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it!
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