Drummerboy420 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) So I've had an awesome weekend. Went to watch some fellow musicians play an acoustic show at an awesome little neighborhood bar. Spent the evening chatting it up with the bar tenders. Went to a bar crawl yesterday, chatted up a couple smoking hot Miller Lite promo and marketing girls, ran into an acquaintance (another musician) and his buddies, and ended up running amok with them the rest of the night. We bar hopped and chatted up females everywhere we went. Played a game I have never heard before "Bear Pong." Spent today with family. But I'm still trying not to overthink. Tomorrow evening the ex is supposed to be dropping off some boxes of photo albums that my grandmother just sort of unloaded on me. I kept forgetting to grab them out of the apartment when I had the chances. She's supposed to just leave them on the porch of the house I'm living in now, and go. We last spoke Wednesday, briefly breaking the full NC I tried to implement again, because I knew she was still FB and YouTube stalking me. Started off heated but ended civilly. Still, during the heated part, she brought up how I said "I wish I could erase every last memory" in an angry/hurt public post. She said that hurt her deeply. Naturally I threw some things back at her. I mean come on, SHE'S hurt? Yeah, so hurt that she's already instantly falling for someone. How on earth did I have such a committment-phobe, flighty female for 6 years? Anyways, she threatened to bring back things I gave her (cards, notes, etc) so I could "burn them if you want to." Or something to that effect. But the conversation calmed way down after that. To the point where she kept telling me she thinks about me everyday and worries about me, because we were together for so long. Part of me doesn't believe her. More like, I'm scared to believe her because it just leads to false hope. Especially when she keeps saying "you never know what the future brings." And when I say I don't want false hope, she says, "It's not false hope." I told her it's only natural that we will fade from each other, and she'll stop thinking of me. Part of me is fearing that I will find these other things in these boxes with the photo albums. She's claiming that NC "hurts, but I understand." She still wants to be friends someday. I really don't think I can. I'm also wondering if her saying "it hurts, but I understand" is BS because what she has said and what she has done since the split have been exact opposites. If this does happen, I WILL burn those things, along with things she gave me.. Except for the iPod. That I would just have to get an engraving removed from.. "Your love is the music of my heart." Thank god for iPod covers.. Is it irrational to think she might do this? Edited March 4, 2013 by Drummerboy420
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