Rebounds...?

[MN85]

Keep reading about rebounds a lot on this site and am wondering what the point of a rebound is.

 

So, correct me if I'm wrong but usually a guy/girl gets dumped out of nowhere, gets hurt and then jumps into dating the next best guy/girl that shows interest?

 

1. Is that about right or does the rebound have to be "boyfriend" material (i.e. are rebounders picky)?

 

2. When you rebound, do you go into it while thinking "oh, this is just for ****ing and I won't invest any emotions at all" or is it usually not that well thought out?

 

3. Assuming the dumped guy/girl meets a nice person who would be "boy- grilfriend material" right after a breakup and starts seeing that person, is this "relationship" necessarily a rebound or can it turn into a healthy partnership?

 

4. Does a rebound always lose out to an ex?

 

5. What is the point of a reboud? Proving to yourself that you still "got it"? Getting some sex? Avoiding the feeling of being alone?

 

Would be interested in you input.

[lullaby]

Here are my thoughts about it:

 

Keep reading about rebounds a lot on this site and am wondering what the point of a rebound is.

 

So, correct me if I'm wrong but usually a guy/girl gets dumped out of nowhere, gets hurt and then jumps into dating the next best guy/girl that shows interest?

 

1. Is that about right or does the rebound have to be "boyfriend" material (i.e. are rebounders picky)?

 

I don't think the rebound has to be boyfriend material. I think it just helps to fill that void the previous relationship left and helps to "forget" the other person for a while.

 

2. When you rebound, do you go into it while thinking "oh, this is just for ****ing and I won't invest any emotions at all" or is it usually not that well thought out?

 

I think that at first we convince ourselves it's just for ****ing, but there are times when you start feeling something more for that person. That you can never know, it takes you by surprise. Although, you also have to be ready to start going out again and dating, many of us aren't ready to do that yet and that's why we end up committing to someone who is not even close to boyfriend or girlfriend material and add more pain to our lives.

 

3. Assuming the dumped guy/girl meets a nice person who would be "boy- grilfriend material" right after a breakup and starts seeing that person, is this "relationship" necessarily a rebound or can it turn into a healthy partnership?

 

It can turn into a healthy relationship, there's no time frame for you to know when the next boyfriend/girlfriend may come. It did happen to me, I had finished a 3 year relationship, and months later I met someone else who was boyfriend material, I was excited about that and opened my heart to him only to realize I was just a fling for him, he was never the man I would want next to me and it just made me realized I still love my previous ex.

 

4. Does a rebound always lose out to an ex?

 

like I mentioned before, you can never tell. It surely puts him or her out of your mind for a while.

 

5. What is the point of a reboud? Proving to yourself that you still "got it"? Getting some sex? Avoiding the feeling of being alone?

 

I think the last one. No one wants to feel alone, and needs the reassurance that you can still find someone to be with.

 

Would be interested in you input.

 

 

[fungusamungus]

Keep reading about rebounds a lot on this site and am wondering what the point of a rebound is.

 

So, correct me if I'm wrong but usually a guy/girl gets dumped out of nowhere, gets hurt and then jumps into dating the next best guy/girl that shows interest?

 

Yes, that's the general idea

1. Is that about right or does the rebound have to be "boyfriend" material (i.e. are rebounders picky)?

Not necessarily, this is dependent on the person. Sometimes they might be, the "rebound" might have been a guy that she would've dated even if she wasn't rebounding. Just because he's the next guy that comes along doesn't mean that he is just some scrub off the street.

2. When you rebound, do you go into it while thinking "oh, this is just for ****ing and I won't invest any emotions at all" or is it usually not that well thought out?

This is dependent. Quite frankly, I don't rebound, because if I'm emotionally dinged up enough to want a rebound, then I'm not emotionally available enough to put my all into the new relationship. That's just my $0.02. But I dated a girl right after she got out of a serious relationship before, and she was extremely emotionally unavailable, we took things kind of casually without any heavy emotional investment for about 6 months and she eventually opened up over time.

3. Assuming the dumped guy/girl meets a nice person who would be "boy- grilfriend material" right after a breakup and starts seeing that person, is this "relationship" necessarily a rebound or can it turn into a healthy partnership?

See above.

4. Does a rebound always lose out to an ex?

This is situation dependent. I've never had a girl go back to her ex. If we broke up, she usually went on to someone new.

5. What is the point of a reboud? Proving to yourself that you still "got it"? Getting some sex? Avoiding the feeling of being alone?

It's fear of being alone usually.

Would be interested in you input.

 

Bolded are the answers to your questions.

[RiceaRoni]

I have been curious about this too...

 

What if the situation where to people become emotionally dependent on one another? When they both leave a relationship.

[MN85]

good to know - thx for the responses!

 

So I assume these rebounds are pretty common then?

 

Also, doesnt the rebounder just risk getting screwed even worse? I mean, what if the rebound decides to quit because he/she doesnt want to be "just" a rebound? Isnt that just an additional sting on top of the pain from the original breakup or would you say that the rebounder is emotinally distant enough to just shrug it off?

 

The whole concept is weird to me - if someone ****ed me over and hurt me really really bad, I wouldnt want to immediately jump onto the next good looking guy/gal (in my case gal) and get intimate with her just to not be alone - there are other ways to be with people (ex. go to the movies with friends) that do not involve intimacy...

[sleepy1]

Being in an admitted rebound relationship right now, I'll answer some of these questions...

 

Keep reading about rebounds a lot on this site and am wondering what the point of a rebound is.

 

So, correct me if I'm wrong but usually a guy/girl gets dumped out of nowhere, gets hurt and then jumps into dating the next best guy/girl that shows interest?

 

1. Is that about right or does the rebound have to be "boyfriend" material (i.e. are rebounders picky)?

 

In my experience, not picky at all. We did talk on the phone for a few days, about 2 hours each time...but he's almost the complete opposite of what my ex was and what I THOUGHT I was looking for.

 

2. When you rebound, do you go into it while thinking "oh, this is just for ****ing and I won't invest any emotions at all" or is it usually not that well thought out?

 

No way! I had full intention to fall in love. But I also had been aching for months and just wanted someone new in my life to make new memories with.

 

3. Assuming the dumped guy/girl meets a nice person who would be "boy- grilfriend material" right after a breakup and starts seeing that person, is this "relationship" necessarily a rebound or can it turn into a healthy partnership?

 

I believe no matter HOW good the person is, the person has little chance of winning the comparing game.

 

4. Does a rebound always lose out to an ex?

 

Right now, I'm going to counseling and working on ways to identify whether the relationship I'm in is worth staying in. My boyfriend knows about this and has been surprisingly supportive. In my "head battles", of course my ex wins...even after 9 months of being with this new guy, who is great...but sooo different.

 

5. What is the point of a reboud? Proving to yourself that you still "got it"? Getting some sex? Avoiding the feeling of being alone?

 

For me, it was to stop the pain of being alone.

 

Would be interested in you input.

 

Let me know if you need some elaboration

[marklarsson]

Good thing you to the time to answer this question because you have been in a relationship with your rebound for 9 months and most people think rebounds en really quickly well less than 9 months most of the time.

 

my ex is in what i think is a rebound and it was literally with the first guy that showed interest in her after we broke up. i am now no contact.

she does not like to deal with her feelings and i feel bad for this guy because if he falls for her she is going to break his heart because she is still harboring feelings for me.

[MN85]

aha...so you're basically saying that:

 

1. guy/gal that was dumped feels alone

2. hence grabs onto first guy/gal who shows interest after BU (regardless of whether that guy/gal is BF/GF material or even someone the guy/gal would otherwise date)

3. guy/gal continues to hang with the new "partner" until:

a. they get back together with their ex

b. they deal with their pain and realize that the new "partner" is nto a good match

 

This about right?

 

If so, it seems like a pretty pathetic move to me.

 

Don't want to step on anybody's toes here but if you're feeling alone, do you really feel that much better when you hang out with someone you wouldnt even consider dating under normal circumstances just bc he/she showed interest?

 

Doesnt make any sense to me but hey - its a big world out there...

[fungusamungus]

aha...so you're basically saying that:

 

1. guy/gal that was dumped feels alone

2. hence grabs onto first guy/gal who shows interest after BU (regardless of whether that guy/gal is BF/GF material or even someone the guy/gal would otherwise date)

3. guy/gal continues to hang with the new "partner" until:

a. they get back together with their ex

b. they deal with their pain and realize that the new "partner" is nto a good match

 

This about right?

 

If so, it seems like a pretty pathetic move to me.

 

Don't want to step on anybody's toes here but if you're feeling alone, do you really feel that much better when you hang out with someone you wouldnt even consider dating under normal circumstances just bc he/she showed interest?

 

Doesnt make any sense to me but hey - its a big world out there...

Some people just cannot function without a significant other. There are plenty of people out there like that. They're insecure and they don't know how to deal with rejection and a rebound often makes them feel a little bit better about things.

[lemonlegs]

Let me ask you guys this: is it still considered a 'rebound' if the person who did the dumping had another person 'lined up' before they broke up with their partner?

[sleepy1]

aha...so you're basically saying that:

 

1. guy/gal that was dumped feels alone

2. hence grabs onto first guy/gal who shows interest after BU (regardless of whether that guy/gal is BF/GF material or even someone the guy/gal would otherwise date)

3. guy/gal continues to hang with the new "partner" until:

a. they get back together with their ex

b. they deal with their pain and realize that the new "partner" is nto a good match

 

This about right?

 

If so, it seems like a pretty pathetic move to me.

 

Don't want to step on anybody's toes here but if you're feeling alone, do you really feel that much better when you hang out with someone you wouldnt even consider dating under normal circumstances just bc he/she showed interest?

 

Doesnt make any sense to me but hey - its a big world out there...

 

Excuse my self-indulgence (I lack experience, honestly ), but when I began dating again, it was about 5 months after my ex of 1 year said goodbye. I THOUGHT I was ready. I had improved myself, been out with friends and felt that the fleeting thoughts of my ex would all but disappear once I found someone new. My mistake was taking the first guy that was available, fairly quickly. Just because he is a good guy, doesn't mean you're good matches. I wish I took more time to date. Once I began the relationship with the new guy, feelings for ex just grew and grew (and this was after NC since the breakup!) and now, 9 months later, we're at a cross roads. I'm going (back) to counselling to try to examine these pestering thoughts of my ex AND whether or not I should stay with my current boyfriend. We're thinking about doing couples counselling too.

[MN85]

Excuse my self-indulgence (I lack experience, honestly ), but when I began dating again, it was about 5 months after my ex of 1 year said goodbye. I THOUGHT I was ready. I had improved myself, been out with friends and felt that the fleeting thoughts of my ex would all but disappear once I found someone new. My mistake was taking the first guy that was available, fairly quickly. Just because he is a good guy, doesn't mean you're good matches. I wish I took more time to date. Once I began the relationship with the new guy, feelings for ex just grew and grew (and this was after NC since the breakup!) and now, 9 months later, we're at a cross roads. I'm going (back) to counselling to try to examine these pestering thoughts of my ex AND whether or not I should stay with my current boyfriend. We're thinking about doing couples counselling too.

 

The first guy who was available?

 

Seriously, you're implying that you just settled for the first guy who showed interest regardless of his a. personality, b. looks, c. other characteristics.

 

I think you're either trying to find an excuse to cut the guy loose because of some odd motive that escapes me (fear of commitment maybe?)

 

OR

 

you really did SETTLE for the first random dude, which I find really hard to believe since you kept hanging out with him for 9 months (almost a long as with your ex).

 

Honestly, if the guy likes you, treats you well and doesn't have any glaring flaws (i.e. doesnt look like Quasimodo, doesnt get drunk every weekend,...etc.) then what the hell is your problem?

 

Unless you really think you deserve better than him (in which case, you should've dumped him months ago), why do you **** around with the guy's feelings? If he's still with you and into you and wants to remain that way, I do not understand why you dont like/love him and instead harbor feelings for your ex...

 

So your ex dumped you - boo-****ing-hoo. Get over it.

Now you have a great guy (at least it sounds like you do) and are thinking of letting him go bc you're still pining for some moron who treated you like crap (again, I assume he broke up with you)? Over 1 year ago? Really? Really, really?

 

Some people just don't make sense to me at all.

 

I get that you long for an ex for a while after a breakup (especially if you're the dumped one) but your situation does not make any sense to me at all.

 

Quit the self pity, accept that you were dumped, accept that you found something and someone new and good and just be fine.

 

Oh and one last thing - your new BF is actually willing to go to couples counseling with you to help YOU get over YOUR ex - now if that's not a perfect proof of dedication and, frankly, love then I don't know what is.

 

Maybe you're into being treated poorly, in which case you should visit the east side of Washington DC - plenty of guys there who could easily make you happy...uhm, pardon me, I meant to say miserable

[fungusamungus]

The first guy who was available?

 

Seriously, you're implying that you just settled for the first guy who showed interest regardless of his a. personality, b. looks, c. other characteristics.

 

I think you're either trying to find an excuse to cut the guy loose because of some odd motive that escapes me (fear of commitment maybe?)

 

OR

 

you really did SETTLE for the first random dude, which I find really hard to believe since you kept hanging out with him for 9 months (almost a long as with your ex).

 

Honestly, if the guy likes you, treats you well and doesn't have any glaring flaws (i.e. doesnt look like Quasimodo, doesnt get drunk every weekend,...etc.) then what the hell is your problem?

 

Unless you really think you deserve better than him (in which case, you should've dumped him months ago), why do you **** around with the guy's feelings? If he's still with you and into you and wants to remain that way, I do not understand why you dont like/love him and instead harbor feelings for your ex...

 

So your ex dumped you - boo-****ing-hoo. Get over it.

Now you have a great guy (at least it sounds like you do) and are thinking of letting him go bc you're still pining for some moron who treated you like crap (again, I assume he broke up with you)? Over 1 year ago? Really? Really, really?

 

Some people just don't make sense to me at all.

 

I get that you long for an ex for a while after a breakup (especially if you're the dumped one) but your situation does not make any sense to me at all.

 

Quit the self pity, accept that you were dumped, accept that you found something and someone new and good and just be fine.

 

Oh and one last thing - your new BF is actually willing to go to couples counseling with you to help YOU get over YOUR ex - now if that's not a perfect proof of dedication and, frankly, love then I don't know what is.

 

Maybe you're into being treated poorly, in which case you should visit the east side of Washington DC - plenty of guys there who could easily make you happy...uhm, pardon me, I meant to say miserable

The world is not as black and white as you want to see it. First of all, I don't think she "finding an excuse to cut the guy loose...". I think it's just a case where she realizes after some time that they aren't right for each other, and she wished that she had taken some time to look for someone who was better suited. You know... like what happens with MOST relationships. Yeah, it took 9 months, what's your point? Is there a more "acceptable" time table? You do realize that relationships do last longer than 1-2 months, right? Yes, even those where two people aren't right for each other. People get divorced after years of marriage because they're "not right for each other". Don't just attribute it to a girl who is just thinking that "they deserve better" and need some perspective by "going to the east side of Washington DC".

 

Don't ostracize someone who is just trying to give you the perspective that you asked for just because it isn't what you wanted to hear. Obviously she likes him if SHE is willing to do counseling herself, I don't think she needs some stranger over the internet to tell her... "boo-****ing-hoo... quit whining and stop being a terrible person and stop feeling sorry about yourself". It just makes you sound bitter and like an enormous douche. Hell, kudos to her actually putting in the effort to work things out, she obviously likes him, but in the end, if they just end up exhausting their options and it's not working out, then they'll break up. It'll be sad, but that's how things turn out. No one was in the wrong, they just weren't right for each other. It happens.

 

You think that just because you're a nice guy to a girl and treat her well, that you're entitled to her love? That's not how it works. That is an EXTREMELY selfish and one-sided way of thinking about things, and unless you shake that sentiment, you are going to have a tough time with women.

Edited March 15, 2013 by fungusamungus

[JourneyLady]

I've had one rebound that I can point to and say it *probably* was. Usually if I start to date someone, it's because I have a valid reason to think a relationship with that person will be better than the last one. Sometimes it is - and if so, I'll stick with it. Sometimes it isn't.

 

After my divorce, the first guy I got with was in a hobby I found exciting and found that I could share with him, plus he was romantically imaginative and a few other things that were better than my ex-husband. But I found later that loyalty was lacking and his flirtation skills with other women were overboard. Sex was minimal and he didn't help much. So when he did something disloyal while out of town, I bailed. I hurt horribly, but I didn't want to get cheated on again and he had all the personality characteristics of a cheater, but without the looks.

 

I don't think current guy is a rebound, 'cause I've been more away from the ex-bf than with him this year, and nc at all for two months. And really I stopped being "in love" with ex-bf about six months prior to then. I just kept trying to make it work anyway because I'd invested so much (too much, actually).

 

Current guy is an old friend and I've always liked him. Since we were (and are) friends first, it seems like we can be more mutually supportive. But we haven't tried out the physical chemistry yet. So it remains to be seen how this will develop. But it already seems healthier than my three decade marriage was...

[JourneyLady]

Don't want to step on anybody's toes here but if you're feeling alone, do you really feel that much better when you hang out with someone you wouldnt even consider dating under normal circumstances just bc he/she showed interest?

 

All the guys I dated I would have dated anyway, because there was something in each of them I found interesting and neat. Not one has been like another in personality or looks. I've never broken up a relationship with someone who still actually wants me and wants to work on keeping the relationship humming. That doesn't mean staying just to stay - it means actual caring and concern that we are both happy with how things are. Not just me (ex-hubby) and not just him (ex-bf).

[MN85]

Honestly - appreciate the answers & honesty - BUT, as I said I've been looking into this for a while and I dont agree at all with all of this "50 shades of grey" business (pun intended and, no, I'm not referring to the book ^^).

 

IF you keep everything in your life "grey", you'll never fully invest in anything and end up half-assing your life.

Granted, job is grey bc you're dependent on other people's opinions - boss, colleagues, evaluators...etc. unless you're Microsoft's or Apple's CEO and, even then, you are accountable to your customers and shareholders (i.e. you still can't be 100% yourself and do whatever you want).

Same goes for school, clubs, boards, associations and everything else that is outward/public-facing so to say.

A relationship is NOT public-facing. The whole point is to find someone who accepts you with all of your flaws (and we all have some) and puts up with your bull****. If you reciprocate properly, things should be easy from there. Of course attraction, life goals, etc. factor in as well but that is what dating's there for - you figure these things out before you enter a relationship. So, in short, relationships better be black & white because if they're not, they eventually fail.

 

This "mystical" feeling of attraction that everybody nowadays, and especially women, keep babbling on about is just a bunch of pretentious nonsense - especially when it comes up while they're IN a relationship.

 

Why the hell would you even repeatedly go out, kiss, sleep with someone who you're not attracted to? You wouldn't (unless something's very wrong with you). Given that this is the case, you'd keep seeing them, learning more about them etc. until you eventually reach a decision point:

 

A. enter into a relationship / B. bail

 

If you pick A, it means you like the other person enough to put up with his/her quirks and they feel the same way about you (otherwise, you'd hopefully pick B).

 

So where do these doubts come in here? You've already gone through the screening phase, deemed the guy ok, entered into a relationship and now you're second guessing? That's just a tad bit unfair. U should've let him down early on if there was a chance that you'd play this game with him. After all, he invested into this relationship (again, I assume he did since he agreed to counseling instead of bailing)....

 

These things better be black and white - otherwise its just 2 people who hang together for a while and who throw a bunch of nice-sounding but completely empty words at each other (a-la, I love you,..etc.)

 

There are special ciumstances that can screw things up like a need to relocate, family deaths...etc. but hell, you better be sure you're not pining for someone else when u enter into a relationship...

[sleepy1]

The first guy who was available?

 

Seriously, you're implying that you just settled for the first guy who showed interest regardless of his a. personality, b. looks, c. other characteristics.

 

I think you're either trying to find an excuse to cut the guy loose because of some odd motive that escapes me (fear of commitment maybe?)

 

 

OR

 

you really did SETTLE for the first random dude, which I find really hard to believe since you kept hanging out with him for 9 months (almost a long as with your ex).

 

Honestly, if the guy likes you, treats you well and doesn't have any glaring flaws (i.e. doesnt look like Quasimodo, doesnt get drunk every weekend,...etc.) then what the hell is your problem?

 

Unless you really think you deserve better than him (in which case, you should've dumped him months ago), why do you **** around with the guy's feelings? If he's still with you and into you and wants to remain that way, I do not understand why you dont like/love him and instead harbor feelings for your ex...

 

So your ex dumped you - boo-****ing-hoo. Get over it.

Now you have a great guy (at least it sounds like you do) and are thinking of letting him go bc you're still pining for some moron who treated you like crap (again, I assume he broke up with you)? Over 1 year ago? Really? Really, really?

 

Some people just don't make sense to me at all.

 

I get that you long for an ex for a while after a breakup (especially if you're the dumped one) but your situation does not make any sense to me at all.

 

Quit the self pity, accept that you were dumped, accept that you found something and someone new and good and just be fine.

 

Oh and one last thing - your new BF is actually willing to go to couples counseling with you to help YOU get over YOUR ex - now if that's not a perfect proof of dedication and, frankly, love then I don't know what is.

 

Maybe you're into being treated poorly, in which case you should visit the east side of Washington DC - plenty of guys there who could easily make you happy...uhm, pardon me, I meant to say miserable

No, not at all. I had messaged about 4 or 5 guys during a one month period over a dating site (I actually went on a date with one of them). Out all of them, the person who I'm with now was the only one who didn't JUST break up with an ex. 2 of the 4 actually told me they were talking with their ex again! He is good looking and is a great guy. It's just sometimes I question whether or not we're a good pair, personality wise. I'm not going to go into specifics, but let's just say he's a type-A personality and I'm not.

 

If you want to know what happened with my ex and I, just search my recent posts. I made a thread that no one replied to ( :X ), but the complicated story is there.

 

I know it's easy to rationalize it. I've done it over and over again. But the heart wins the battle. I decided long ago to let my feelings flow and try not to repress my emotions. That's why I started going to counselling; so I can gain a different perspective from a professional and some advice. Maybe I'll learn something that I overlooked before and it will make me feel better. I don't know.

 

I'm not looking for pity, either. This is just how it is and how I feel. I think I'm doing a damn good job and being mature as possible dealing with this while being in a relationship. If I truly didn't care, I would have dumped my current boyfriend months ago. But I know he loves me very much and IS a good guy who deserves a chance. I'm trying to work through my issues as well as OUR issues. This doesn't mean it'll work out in the end, but at least I can say we TRIED.

 

OH and btw - I'm a guy

Edited March 16, 2013 by sleepy1

[fungusamungus]

Honestly - appreciate the answers & honesty - BUT, as I said I've been looking into this for a while and I dont agree at all with all of this "50 shades of grey" business (pun intended and, no, I'm not referring to the book ^^).

 

IF you keep everything in your life "grey", you'll never fully invest in anything and end up half-assing your life.

Granted, job is grey bc you're dependent on other people's opinions - boss, colleagues, evaluators...etc. unless you're Microsoft's or Apple's CEO and, even then, you are accountable to your customers and shareholders (i.e. you still can't be 100% yourself and do whatever you want).

Same goes for school, clubs, boards, associations and everything else that is outward/public-facing so to say.

A relationship is NOT public-facing. The whole point is to find someone who accepts you with all of your flaws (and we all have some) and puts up with your bull****. If you reciprocate properly, things should be easy from there. Of course attraction, life goals, etc. factor in as well but that is what dating's there for - you figure these things out before you enter a relationship. So, in short, relationships better be black & white because if they're not, they eventually fail.

 

This "mystical" feeling of attraction that everybody nowadays, and especially women, keep babbling on about is just a bunch of pretentious nonsense - especially when it comes up while they're IN a relationship.

 

Why the hell would you even repeatedly go out, kiss, sleep with someone who you're not attracted to? You wouldn't (unless something's very wrong with you). Given that this is the case, you'd keep seeing them, learning more about them etc. until you eventually reach a decision point:

 

A. enter into a relationship / B. bail

 

If you pick A, it means you like the other person enough to put up with his/her quirks and they feel the same way about you (otherwise, you'd hopefully pick B).

 

So where do these doubts come in here? You've already gone through the screening phase, deemed the guy ok, entered into a relationship and now you're second guessing? That's just a tad bit unfair. U should've let him down early on if there was a chance that you'd play this game with him. After all, he invested into this relationship (again, I assume he did since he agreed to counseling instead of bailing)....

 

These things better be black and white - otherwise its just 2 people who hang together for a while and who throw a bunch of nice-sounding but completely empty words at each other (a-la, I love you,..etc.)

 

There are special ciumstances that can screw things up like a need to relocate, family deaths...etc. but hell, you better be sure you're not pining for someone else when u enter into a relationship...

Sometimes it takes being in a relationship with someone, spending significant amount of time with someone, to find out that you are not compatible with the other person. Do you know why? Because during the dating phases, EVERYONE puts their best foot forward. You're on your best behavior, and if it's someone you like, you're completely engrossed in them and infatuated with them that nothing about them bothers you.

 

What you are saying is that as long as you can put up with the other person and they're attractive enough, that you should be 100% committed to them and never break up? Dude, if that's not the definition of "half-assing your life", I don't know what is. Compatibility is really important, and it's definitely more than just being with someone that you can tolerate.

Edited March 16, 2013 by fungusamungus