xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I'm hoping to make this a non-issue before it becomes a big problem. I recently broke up amicably with my ex. The reason we broke up wasn't because we didn't love each other, but because we fought too much about expectations and the future that we decided breaking up was a better solution for the both of us to stop hurting each other. Of course, we haven't cut each other completely, and still see each other and sleep together. Now the relevant (non)issue here is that recently, I found myself attracted to a friend of my ex. I have only seen the friend a few times, but I find myself somewhat attracted to him. I have never personally hung out with the guy privately only in social settings, but I find myself getting slightly flustered whenever I'm around him. The conflict here is that I personally feel my attractions towards my ex's friend is unwarranted. Obviously I love my ex, but these conflicting emotions and thoughts that flow through my head makes me like I'm betraying my ex. No, I certainly won't make a move on the guy and I have my distance from him and only remained friendly. My question is, why do I feel this way? I have never looked at another guy when I was in a relationship and I've never been the cheating type. I certainly don't ever want to hurt my ex, but then why do I feel so guilty?
empirestate87 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 The fact of the matter is that if you pursue this you WILL definitely hurt your ex.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 The fact of the matter is that if you pursue this you WILL definitely hurt your ex. I already wrote I'm not pursuing it but the thoughts are there. And we're both single if that even matters.
kaylan Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 My advice is the same from your past thread regarding this issue. Stay away from the ex's friend. Better yet, stay away from both of them. Exes are such for a reason. Take time alone to get over both of them and go hang out with your friends. Dont get in between friends. You dont want to be that woman. 2
kaylan Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Courtesy bump for OP, so she can get more responses. Dont be shy yall. Her last thread on this issue didnt get much love either. Chime in yall.
iKING Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Stay away from the friend. Better yet, stay away from both of them for some time. If both your ex and you move on and give it time to dissipate the bond you share, at that point it would be more reasonable to pursue the friend. Going at it now would both ruin the friendship and leave you and your ex on bad terms. Be patients and this could work out the way you're curious of it working out, but the feelings between you and your ex are still too fresh (and ongoing) for it to be a wise move at this point. 1
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Stay away from the friend. Better yet, stay away from both of them for some time. If both your ex and you move on and give it time to dissipate the bond you share, at that point it would be more reasonable to pursue the friend. Going at it now would both ruin the friendship and leave you and your ex on bad terms. Be patients and this could work out the way you're curious of it working out, but the feelings between you and your ex are still too fresh (and ongoing) for it to be a wise move at this point. Appreciate it. I'm slowing trying to ease out of dependency on the ex. We got into a fight yesterday(like all the other fights we always have ) and he told me it's best I move on. Up until this point I never had to think about what I will be doing without him but i suppose this is the best.
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