Estate Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Sorry if I keep seeming harsh here but just from your posts it feels like you are acting as the prize here and that he has to win you over. I.e. telling him its his last chance, wanting him to do the chasing... Conventionally at least some element of that might keep him interested, I'm just giving you a guys perspective that if I'd been shot down so many times I'd be expecting the girl to be making more of the effort to prove something to me this time round. I wouldn't be putting it all on the line again. Sounds like you want it to work out this time which is ggreat but I think you need to give up some power here and stop acting like the prize if he is to be convinced. Know you won't agree but I'm speaking as a guy. I've done this getting back with a girl thing and unless she begins to make it seem like she's going to put more effort in to balance things out, it never goes anywhere.
Author ScienceGal Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) Sorry if I keep seeming harsh here but just from your posts it feels like you are acting as the prize here and that he has to win you over. I.e. telling him its his last chance, wanting him to do the chasing... Conventionally at least some element of that might keep him interested, I'm just giving you a guys perspective that if I'd been shot down so many times I'd be expecting the girl to be making more of the effort to prove something to me this time round. I wouldn't be putting it all on the line again. Sounds like you want it to work out this time which is ggreat but I think you need to give up some power here and stop acting like the prize if he is to be convinced. Know you won't agree but I'm speaking as a guy. I've done this getting back with a girl thing and unless she begins to make it seem like she's going to put more effort in to balance things out, it never goes anywhere. Oh, it's completely equal right now in terms of communication, affection, effort. All of it, we're on the same page. Initially, I was discouraged when he pulled back and wanted to take things slow, but only because I thought he was still unsure about me or us (just like last time...) He wasn't, and isn't unsure though, he was just trying to take the best approach. This past weekend was really great. I'm feeling better each day about it. What I said to him is that this will be the last chance, and it will be. Not because I am trying to hold anything over him, but because if it doesn't work now, it never will. We're both early 30's and want to settle down. If we decide it's not going to be with each other, we'll move on and find it with someone else. Not a threat, just a fact. My two close friends think he is going to try to push the relationship forward quickly. He's brought up the topic of kids several times (not specific to me, except once when he asked what kind of mom I see myself being). He also asked what area I see myself living in. We're currently 45 minutes apart, and I've always wanted to move about 20 minutes closer to the city he's in, which I told him when he asked. Edited April 1, 2013 by ScienceGal 1
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