chrisftw Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 i think everybody here is ignoring the fact that she counter offered. she may have flaked but if she wasn't interested and was only going to flake again why a counter offer. it would be safer to say. maybe we can try "SOME OTHER TIME" not precise like 'next weekend' that means whatever mental cap she put on the first time she has to put on again for the next time if she intends on flaking. i say proceed and see where it goes. if she flakes again. you're dealing with a special woman. lol
outsidethebox Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 when she's not planning on showing up the only way to stiff is to be specific about where to leave you standing and wondering. I posted earlier what you needed to know and the answers needed to be yes. No response, I assume answers are no.
clia Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I can't even believe you are contemplating going out with this woman again. She completely stood you up and didn't even apologize! Let's assume her story is true. I mean, think logically about this. She's on the train going to meet you, and is a mere few stops away. Her train is delayed, so she's running late. But eventually she must've gotten off the train, right? So what happened to her? Why couldn't she find you at the art gallery? Why would she wait until the next day to contact you to explain what happened? You should've had ten text messages or missed calls from her that night saying "I'm here...wearing a red coat...looking for you" and the like. Instead you had nothing. Uh...no. This kind of thing might've flown in the days before cell phones, but not now, especially since the two of you were communicating all the way up to the date. I don't buy it at all. I bet she will stand you up again if you plan another date with her.
TheFinalWord Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) Was supposed to have a date with this woman, met her last week at a party by a friend, exchanged numbers, talked (not text) on the phone three times and was ready to meet with her last night at an art gallery since she claimed to love art shows but she never showed up! We communicated by phone and by text on how many stops away she was. She claimed to be 5 stops then 3 stops away, then a train delay, then 2 stops and then poof!!! I called her and text her and called, etc. and nothing. I'm still stunned right now because I'm lost on whether she was ever on the train to begin with. This has to be one of the worst experiences and it completely ruined saturday plans. I wonder if anyone else been through something this ridiculous or worse. Sorry man, Years ago, I had a girl do something similar to me. We were supposed to workout together. I was supposed to pick her up at a location on campus. She texted a couple of hours from the date, all the way up to about 15 mins before we were supposed to meet..."I'm almost there"..."Out of class now"..."See you in a few!"...I waited past the agreed upon time 45 minutes. I texted her, "Hey I can't find you"...dead air. Called her...left a voicemail. At 9:00 that night she texts and says "I can't believe my text didn't go through, my aunt needed me to come over b/c to babysit, b/c she had to go to hospital for an emergency". This was the first time I had encountered what I call extreme flaking lol (extreme flaking is where you lead the person to believe you are still meeting them, all the way up to an hour up the the event, and then just go silent) In my gut, I felt it was a lie. She said she texted, but just common courtesy, if a real emergency happened and I had to break and appointment, I would have called the person to confirm they go the message and set up another date. Reflecting later, I found it is easier to lie over text b/c you don't have as much of a chance to mix up your story. I ignored my gut, believed her, set up another date...same nonsense. Lesson learned. Don't tolerate second class behavior in the beginning stages of dating. You're seeing that person at their best! Edited March 4, 2013 by TheFinalWord
outsidethebox Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) Just out of curiosity, we keep speaking of texting here and I'm wondering why a voice call isn't made from these people when allegedly derailed or whatever and phone call made to them when not there on all these situations, including this alleged thread incident. One of the conditions for knowing enough about this person to consider doing this again that I posted on prior page is to be able to make a phone call and speak to her. Isn't the text phone number same as voice phone number? And yet people act like they can't make a phone call and talk to someone they're allegedly going on a "date" with. Pretty bizarre stuff these days. Edited March 4, 2013 by outsidethebox 1
TheFinalWord Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) Just out of curiosity, we keep speaking of texting here and I'm wondering why a voice call isn't made from these people when allegedly derailed or whatever and phone call made to them when not there on all these situations, including this alleged thread incident. One of the conditions for knowing enough about this person to consider doing this again that I posted on prior page is to be able to make a phone call and speak to her. Isn't the text phone number same as voice phone number? And yet people act like they can't make a phone call and talk to someone they're allegedly going on a "date" with. Pretty bizarre stuff these days. When someone flakes, if you get any communication, it is more likely to be via text b/c it is easier to lie. If you are lying, would you rather it come from a text message or have to do it on the phone? haha Over the phone you're more likely to feel guilt b/c it's more personal, whereas text is more impersonal. Also, with texting the flaker can play stupid "Oh you didn't get my text!" yeah, I'm sure the entire satellite system malfunctioned riiiggghttt when you sent that text to tell me you couldn't make it Still, you can't totally rule it out so it makes it easier to cover a lie. "The guilty flee when no one pursues" PS: you're right the behavior is bizarre; to me it is just common decency to call that close to ANY appointment if I have to cancel to ensure the other person got the message (and an apology for the inconvenience), let alone a date. Edited March 4, 2013 by TheFinalWord 1
Author Easyguy14 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 When someone flakes, if you get any communication, it is more likely to be via text b/c it is easier to lie. If you are lying, would you rather it come from a text message or have to do it on the phone? haha Over the phone you're more likely to feel guilt b/c it's more personal, whereas text is more impersonal. Also, with texting the flaker can play stupid "Oh you didn't get my text!" yeah, I'm sure the entire satellite system malfunctioned riiiggghttt when you sent that text to tell me you couldn't make it Still, you can't totally rule it out so it makes it easier to cover a lie. "The guilty flee when no one pursues" PS: you're right the behavior is bizarre; to me it is just common decency to call that close to ANY appointment if I have to cancel to ensure the other person got the message (and an apology for the inconvenience), let alone a date. Thanks for the input but decided on giving her another shot since she gave a set day and approximate time so what the heck huh? Sorry to hear that you got it twice by the same girl. Will report back this coming weekend.
kaylan Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Thanks for the input but decided on giving her another shot since she gave a set day and approximate time so what the heck huh? Sorry to hear that you got it twice by the same girl. Will report back this coming weekend. Have some balls and tell that girl to go kick rocks. You likely wont get her bro. And if you do, she wont stick with you for long. A girl whos genuinely interested in a guy and genuinely likes a guy does not pull what she did. She feels she can do better and have a better time doing other things...hence why she bailed on you. If you had any self respect or real options, you wouldnt put up with this and give her another shot.
TheFinalWord Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Thanks for the input but decided on giving her another shot since she gave a set day and approximate time so what the heck huh? Sorry to hear that you got it twice by the same girl. Will report back this coming weekend. Hope it works out for ya! My 2 cents: Invite her along to something you would do anyway, that way if she doesn't show up you're not wasting time.
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