quietGuy13 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I'm AMerican guy in my 30s. Have never had even female friends from America. Why? I'm a nice guy and interesting. But the reason comes down to talking. I dont talk, and if i do i talk quietly and i'm not good at speaking i make mistakes and i stutter. There's alot of times of long pauses of silence cause i haev nothing to say. etc etc. I am not one of those sassy mature outgoing Professional guys. Yet, with Asians from Asia..instantly become friends. And even if i have long pauses of no talking, they dn't mind. Why American women just like the smart or outgoing or mature talkative guys with lots of talking and nonstop conversations?
Sivok Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 American culture isn't very reserved. If a girl feels really uncomfortable around you she has no idea what your intentions are and would rather avoid that situation. This goes for guys too.
mesmerized Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Why would they want to be your friend? You really seem to have nothing to offer even as a friend. Have you ever read your posts?? 1
outsidethebox Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 You have Asian friends. Love the one you're with. 1
Author quietGuy13 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 Why would they want to be your friend? You really seem to have nothing to offer even as a friend. Have you ever read your posts?? Then why Asians love me? Cause i'm a good nice person and seems Americans do'nt really care about that.
StanMusial Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I'm AMerican guy in my 30s. Have never had even female friends from America. Why? I'm a nice guy and interesting. But the reason comes down to talking. I dont talk, and if i do i talk quietly and i'm not good at speaking i make mistakes and i stutter. There's alot of times of long pauses of silence cause i haev nothing to say. etc etc. I am not one of those sassy mature outgoing Professional guys. Yet, with Asians from Asia..instantly become friends. And even if i have long pauses of no talking, they dn't mind. Why American women just like the smart or outgoing or mature talkative guys with lots of talking and nonstop conversations? How would anyone know you are interesting if you don't talk?
hppr Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Then why Asians love me? Cause i'm a good nice person and seems Americans do'nt really care about that. I doubt you've talked to every American woman that there is however I do get what you mean. Americans (in comparison with people from other countries) are *******s. No manners, expect a lot up front, etc. Asian cultures are more conservative and I find Europeans are much more conservative/friendly right off the bat than Americans. Honestly I wouldn't worry about it because there is nothing you can do. You can try to change yourself to fit with these people who don't accept you but then you probably won't be happy afterward. Just be yourself.
Emilia Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Yet, with Asians from Asia..instantly become friends. And even if i have long pauses of no talking, they dn't mind. Their definition of 'friendship' is different, it's more similar to Western definition of 'acquaintance'. To build anything meaningful takes time. 1
Nik1 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Are you sure? You don't type like you're from America.
Dragonfruit Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) I guess what you mean there's some trait more common in women from the Asian community that you find easier to relate to. Maybe if you can identify what it is that would be a starting point. Or just stick with Asian women if that works out for you and you're happy with it. Interesting... Edited March 8, 2013 by Dragonfruit
TaraMaiden Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Are you sure? You don't type like you're from America. Yes - it's an affectation.....
Phoe Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 OP - not all american women want nonstop conversation. I actually would find myself getting annoyed with it. I like silence every now and then. BUT it's hard to become friends with someone if you can't talk with them first. Getting to know someone takes talking, once you know them, THEN you can be comfortable with moments of silence. You'll need to practice. Write down questions that you would like to ask people, things that you might be interested in knowing about a girl. Make sure these are open ended questions that require an answer other than Yes or No. Nothing too serious either, avoid topics like politics or religion. Write down 15 questions that you could ask someone, and memorize these questions (you obviously don't wanna walk around with a piece of paper listing these questions, haha). When someone answers your question, you can reply with some information of you own, or maybe ask another question ABOUT what you just learned from them, basically just keep the topic going from that one question as far as you can, and when you've finally run out of things to say from that First question, move on to question number 2. Repeat the process, and if she is interested in friendly chatter she will likely ask YOU questions too, making it easier. Yes that takes a lot of thinking, it takes a bit of practice, and you may feel awkward at first. But once you've done it a few times you'll become more comfortable talking with girls knowing that you've got questions available for backup should an awkward silence occur. 1
Eggplant Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 East Asian culture celebrates and values being introverted; American culture encourages extroverts and loud-mouths, and punishes the thoughtful types. 1
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