kaitracid2010 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 ok so my girlfriend ended it with me, a week ago... i don't know if i should feel sad, or regard this as a blessing! she is a very attractive hot woman & our sex life was amazing!!! but, she never really treated me well... if i ever in intentionaly upset her, or annoyed her... it felt like she was punishing me! she would just push me away, sometimes and make excuses not see me, or ignore me for the entire day, or turn her back to me in bed and just go to sleep! then she would lay the guilt on me thick, and like a idiot i would try getting back with her & it was always me kissing her arse trying to make with her. i never really felt safe with her, and did not feel like i was bieng treated well. i never really felt like it was genuine love, or she would ever be there for me. my question is... is it shallow to want to be with someone who is very attractive & the sex is great... but they do not treat you well, and you don't feel like they would ever be there for you, or properly love you???? 1
markus36 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 You know you can have both right? You can be with someone who is both beautiful, and treats you well
Author kaitracid2010 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 You know you can have both right? You can be with someone who is both beautiful, and treats you well i hope so, i have not met that person yet... why am i mourning my ex so much then?.... she treated me very bad, and pushed me away so many times... dumped me on two or three occasions she even pushed me away on new years eve, i was so gutted and hurt. why do i mourn losing such a person
markus36 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 There's a good youtube/ted talk video on this. Basically being rejected makes us want that person more, like a drug.
Author kaitracid2010 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 There's a good youtube/ted talk video on this. Basically being rejected makes us want that person more, like a drug. so how does one overcome bieng treated in this way? go cold turkey, and find someone better
markus36 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I suspect, although I'm no expert, the drug analogy works quite well - go cold turkey (NC) and ultimately, one day, you'll find someone better
adelia Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 That's not shallow at all. Those are great attributes but a huge one is missing and that's communication. It sounds like maybe you two or she is having a hard time talking to you. Some ppl find it hard to open up and express themselves it doesn't necessarily mean theyre pushing you away. It may be her way of saying I'm upset with you although not a productive way. She just may not know how to communicate effectively. It's up to you whether it's worth staying with her and working on things or moving on. It's hard not to take it personally though being treated that way. It may be less about you and more about her.
marklarsson Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 That's not shallow at all. Those are great attributes but a huge one is missing and that's communication. It sounds like maybe you two or she is having a hard time talking to you. Some people find it hard to open up and express themselves it doesn't necessarily mean they are pushing you away. It may be her way of saying I'm upset with you although not a productive way. She just may not know how to communicate effectively. It's up to you whether it's worth staying with her and working on things or moving on. It's hard not to take it personally though being treated that way. It may be less about you and more about her. yes i agree with this. i think im personally like this. but i think once the person you are with understand this, they just have to be patient and as time goes on they will always open up. it all about understanding each other traits. once you know its because he finds it difficult to express his feelings rather than him just being cold to make you fee bad then that a step forward.
oracle Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Nope.. its our nature. We are drawn to people who are attractive. It gives us and our potential offspring greater social stock, and the possibility of getting further ahead. Eventually you are gonna get tired of those empty calories and look for more of a middle ground. FYI.. Sex with someone you 'love' can be far more fulfilling ok so my girlfriend ended it with me, a week ago... i don't know if i should feel sad, or regard this as a blessing! she is a very attractive hot woman & our sex life was amazing!!! but, she never really treated me well... if i ever in intentionaly upset her, or annoyed her... it felt like she was punishing me! she would just push me away, sometimes and make excuses not see me, or ignore me for the entire day, or turn her back to me in bed and just go to sleep! then she would lay the guilt on me thick, and like a idiot i would try getting back with her & it was always me kissing her arse trying to make with her. i never really felt safe with her, and did not feel like i was bieng treated well. i never really felt like it was genuine love, or she would ever be there for me. my question is... is it shallow to want to be with someone who is very attractive & the sex is great... but they do not treat you well, and you don't feel like they would ever be there for you, or properly love you????
Recommended Posts