gravi1 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I dont understand, I felt like I was doing well,decided to forgive ex for whatever. I understood that thinking of her daily 24/7 was a painfull experience that would go away in time and that I must just be patient. I have these extremely painfull recollections of what she did, when she lied tricked me into waiting for her at a place where she was not while she ran to be with another or other man.I have kept the cellphone records which I got after the last incident after which I decided to drop everything. I thought that I thought I could use them as part of my own defence should she want to force her pregnancy and baby onto me. I studied them as they are a reflection of what she was busy doing. Well mthis was pure torture, her deceit is more than clear, the trickery and lies. But they made me so jealous so hurt. Still I have this feeling of worry that one day I may feel I want her back-that is the heart longing I think, but in my mind I know its painfully a done deal.I am still NC with her I dont know which stage I am because, some days I hate her being, some I just break down and cry, some I pain my head trying to think of what I could have said or done to prevent all this, have I said enough. I decided and got rid of the cell records along with with anything and everything that can possibly remind me of her.I think should the time come I will just get the paternity test done and see from there. Oh but would be very nice if she didnt cheat and we could be together.
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