CantBelieve10 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Im going to try to make this as short and sweet as possible, but my mind is racing right now. So bare with me, here it goes: I've been dating a guy who is 8 years older than me for the past 7 months. I typically do not get into relationships, as I'm only 24 and really haven't came across anyone I developed feelings for, until recently. Everything is good between, as far as when we're together. We get along great, we never fight and have many similarities in our personality. We had sex maybe a month into dating. I've invited him to many of my outings with friends and what not. Around 5 months ago we had a conversation about the way we feel about each other, and basically made it clear that we do like each other, and i just let him know that its just in my personality to play it safe and see where the relationship goes. We typically see each other about once TOPS twice a week, and after our date we go back to his place and have sex. Recently its been bugging me that he has never invited me to go hang out with him when he is with his friends. I tell myself that maybe its because its just him and the guys when they hang out but who ****ing knows. In addition, I feel like he either has a lower sex drive than me or doesn't really care for sex. I saw him yesterday (we had sex), today we hung out and he just had me drop him off and he gave me a casual goodbye. Like WTF?! We barely see each other 2 a week, why the **** not get it in again??!!? Anyway i didn't say anything i just took off. Do you guys think I'm being played, or that he's not really into me? I feel like if a man wanted a woman to officially be his girl, he would start off by bringing her around his friends and at this point bring up our relationship status again?!? I dont know, I'm very confused and livid at the moment. Any words of advice will help. Thanks!
Scarlett5 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 How 'into him' are you behaving? Men like to feel needed....it could be that your 'playing it cool' has lead to him losing interest. This has happened to me before.
Author CantBelieve10 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 I talk to him everyday, refer to each other as "boo" and whatnot. We're both pretty busy people but we still make it a point to talk throughout the day. I invite him to all the appropriate places (hanging with friends, parties) I know he knows I'm into him. It almost just feels like we're stuck in this weird zone between dating and taking the next step. I'm generally a chill person, I could swear he gets that about me. I dont know how much more to do without putting myself in the position of getting hurt, considering we aren't moving forward.
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Just because you're an FWB doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You're bound to develop some level of affection for someone you're screwing. Let's face it, if all you were was a good phukk, he'd be an automaton. You can't have sex with someone and not be nice too.... Hate to be harsh honey, but you're looking for meaning where there is none. 1
Scarlett5 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Other than inviting him to stuff and showing it in your words, are you showing your interest in your behaviour? Are you emotionally available to him, I mean. Other than that, maybe he's just not that into you. You could speak to him about it I guess, or take a step back and let it fizzle. If he's really into you, maybe he'll stop it from fizzling. Relationships can be so confusing!
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 This can in no way be described as a relationship. At best, it's a liaison. But relationships go much deeper. This is too 'shallow' to be described in that way.
ChessPieceFace Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 - People have different sex drives. If he's in his 30's there will be SOME days when he's not very interested in having sex 2 days in a row. - It's possible he just doesn't like mixing up his circles of friends, or his mixing his guy time with his GF. Other things are possible ... maybe you're being played, maybe not. No one on here knows for sure, regardless of what they claim. Worst thing you could do is end your relationship based on some internet stranger's "instincts."
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Oh, I dunno.... Sometimes, the objective viewpoint from a complete stranger is precisely the wake-up call that's needed to bring a person 'lost in the woods' to their senses..... If this were NOT the case, LoveShack would be a hollow vacuum echoing to the sounds of tumbleweeds rolling across the wide empty plain...... Man I'm poetic today...... 2
Author CantBelieve10 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 The thing is when we had our "talk" awhile back he mentioned that it wasnt just a sex thing for him. I don't know.. I appreciate your honesty, it feels good to hear something so blunt. I'm usually very aware of the FWB situation. This is all unfamiliar territory for me, I'm not use to this feeling. The fact that im even stressing over him at 3 am. Ugh! I'm leaning towards taking a step back. Wish me luck.
ChessPieceFace Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 "Objective" - what a laugh. Your post history disproves that theory TM. OP, no one here REALLY knows your situation, and many people here have a personal hobby of wrecking the relationships of strangers because it's "fun" to them. It's sickening how quick some people are to say "end it." They have nothing to lose by being reckless, you do.
Geiss Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 In my case if I liked a girl I would try my hardest to keep her away from some of the friends I have. I would eventually let her but my friend is not the easiest person to like and he could potentially ruin it for me. She would be like why are you friends with that guy. My friend is one of a kind. Very blunt, insensitive, vulgar, speaks without thinking, a conversation killer, he even shocks me and I've known him over 20 years. He lost a lot of friends because nobody can stand him. So in my case I would be doing a woman a favour by not introducing her to some of my friends. But I would tell her why and if she still wanted to then I would have to say don't say I didn't warn you.
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 "Objective" - what a laugh. Your post history disproves that theory TM. Wow... If you've ploughed through all virtually 16,000 of them, I take my hat off to you - ! OP, no one here REALLY knows your situation, and many people here have a personal hobby of wrecking the relationships of strangers because it's "fun" to them. It's sickening how quick some people are to say "end it." They have nothing to lose by being reckless, you do. I haven't personally told her to end it at all. I merely stated that as things stand, she's an FWB (seems a couple of others agree with me, BTW.....) I have nothing to gain from suggesting she end her situation.... The decision ultimately, of course - is hers. How could it not be? I have no quarrel with you, ChessPieceFace, but it seems that you have one with me.....? Not sure why, but I'm not here to deliberately rile you or anyone else for that matter.
outsidethebox Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 OP, even if it was an FWB it's a passionless not into sex as much as you are thing. Find someone more into you. Seriously, although pun intended.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I wouldn't think he has something to hide, but he is most certainly trying to hide you from his friends. And what kind of " talk" did the two of you had? It seems though even if a conversation had occurred between you two, no exclusivity was ever brought to the table. Was it a mutual decision to have things as the status quo or was your decision to settle for "seeing where things go"? I feel like you did yourself a disservice to agreeing to something that right now, you have a hard time accepting. So yes, while he might be acting aloof, it seems like you shouldn't even be expecting anymore than he's willing to give right now since this was what you settled for.
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 7 months and things haven't progressed beyond dates and sex? I would be wary.
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