santoshzxcvbn Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I am around 29 and my sister is 34 and she had a love marriage 8 years ago and now has a son of 3 yrs. My borther-in-law(sister's husband) has been away from town for last 1 year due to his job. I have always trusted my sister all this years in whatever she has taken up. But in last few weeks , i just stumbled upon sms's in her cell phone and found some not so good messages from an ex-employee she knew. the worst part is that i know him also and my sister had introduced me to him saying he was like a brother too , i mean she even ties her a rakhi. I went through about 200 odd sms's and the messages exchanged were odd to read also (i cant say that over here). I am confused and dont know what should i do, should i talk my sister about it or what ? need some suggestions ???
ver13 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Just ask her what is going on and if it is something other then friendship let her know that you don't agree with it at all.
Author santoshzxcvbn Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 the tone of messages suggest it surely beyond friendship.
Author santoshzxcvbn Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 I mean i can tell her that i know , but then she would ask me how? , i cant tell her that i was spying on her messages..it is a weird situation..
Author santoshzxcvbn Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 i never spied on purpose , i said i stumbled upon the one of the sms , which then led me to read the rest too. i mean how would you react , if you read " we cant go to my house in the evening today???" as for rakhi , it supposed to be a pure bond, but with cultural pollution , minds have been vitiated too.
Author santoshzxcvbn Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 is it me who has broken the trust in the first place ! i don't even know since how long this has been going around for..
Bryanp Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 What is your relationship with your brother-in-law? He clearly has a right to know.
Oberfeldwebel Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 is it me who has broken the trust in the first place ! i don't even know since how long this has been going around for.. Yes you have violated her trust. She has a reasonable right to privacy and should not have to guard her phone from brother. I don't agree with being faithful to your spouse, but this is not information that you found out by normal means or she confessed, you invaded her right to privacy. My advice is say nothing.....nothing to your sister....nothing to your brother-in-law....nothing to your parents or other relatives....nothing to your friends. Don't ever do this again.
aed Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 just tell what you did(own your own actions), and then say come clean or I tell you hb. easy right?
ComingInHot Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Wait, wait wait a minute!! Let's be HONEST, at least Here on LS. We all owe each other That. I am pulling from my Own experience and I can say that if some random friend/aquaintence left their cell and I came across it, I'd look to see who I could call to let that person know, I found his/her phone. If a text came across, well I don't "care" enough about them to "look" at their phone if while in my possession, a text came across. On the other hand, if my sis left her phone & a text came across, I would probably look as I wouldn't want an important message to be missed. If I read said text and it was cryptic or I didn't get it enough to relay the message or I questioned its contents, it is Because I love her that I would dig a bit deeper. Family is to hold you accountable both good & bad then out of love support to work through issues etc.. I've had times where I was acting/behaving less than stellar and wanted it to remain my dirty little secret. It was the love of my family and thanks to their "snooping" and cônfronting of my behavior that I was forced to face myself and how I let down my family, To change/correct and get back to being the woman I , in heart, wanted to be. So NO. You are NOT to blame and out of love you need to confront your sister. Sometimes in situations including A's, the WS is lying to themselves to justify behaviors they would normally object too... 2
Furious Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 (edited) is the blame on me now? Don't let some posters make you feel like you're creepy and ethically wrong. You accidentally came across something troubling on your sister's cellphone and became alarmed as to what you found. Unconditional love for your family members does not mean you have to agree to, or turn a blind eye to the grievous mistakes they may be making. Talk to your sister, heart to heart. Let her know how much you love her and are worried for her. Edited March 3, 2013 by Furious 5
whichwayisup Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Just be honest. Say something like, look (for whatever reason why you had her phone) and I noticed a text, I'm sorry and I read it then got curious and couldn't stop myself, and read more. Wish I hadn't because of what I saw.. Though now that I know, you need to sort this out. I'm not judging you but doing what you're doing is only going to blow up in your face someday soon. Sure you shouldn't have looked at her phone, but what's done is done. You're not the bad guy here. She may be pissed at you for snooping but she is the one who is cheating on her husband. 7
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