outsidethebox Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Seeing your reply OP reminds me of the adage that girls mature faster, especially by HS. And by mature, I don't mean physically. You have lived through an extreme proof of that. Hopefully you are a senior and will soon graduate, and college age guys will love you. You can start checking them out now. 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Mymy, it sure is a shame, when a woman thinks so low of herself. You are beautiful.... Some roses are nice and bright, and full-bloomed red. They are usually gifted and sent throughout the years; very desirable flower. But red lacks personality. Get a purple rose, and that is rare. It has a certain charm the other rose didn't. Get a multi-colored rose, and it has the most flare -- yet it isn't soo desirable... Usually it is red; but red is soo common. Who cares what you or anyone else looks like? Maybe some jerkoffs. But if your personality is flaring, I'd take that over the D cup blonde anyday. Pity...that's all, women, soo harsh on yourselves. Such delicate beauties, and soo harsh...
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Hi, I'm 18 years old and I have come to the brunt realization that I am unattractive. I've gone through various stages of how I viewed the world and my niche in it. When I was a freshman I convinced myself that the reason why guys never asked me out was simply because I was tall (6ft). When sophomore year came around and guys were still repelled by me I told myself that in college it would be different and that high school guys didn't understanding my "kind" of beauty. By junior year I was convinced that I was an ugly duckling just waiting to blossom into a thin of beauty. Now I'm a senior and I've never been asked out on a date, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. And it ****in sucks. I've now realized how ugly I am and the implications that fact will have on me for the rest of my life. I'm so bitter about this but also grateful that I realized this before college so that I won't go into it with too high of expectations. My question is how do I let go of all my resentment and just accept being an ugly woman? On the off chance that you are a woman who really has NO/ZERO men attracted to her, then I will give you the same advice I give the men here in that situation. Keep at it, be aggressive, and learn to internalize rejection. You are the only instance I can recall of a woman saying she is too unattractive to attract any guys here at LS ... ever. I do have some really good tips for internalizing rejection and unattractiveness because it is something I have had to deal with all my life, and I am a lot older than you. Good luck.
salparadise Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I didn't read the 4 pages of posts but I do want to respond... there are some witticisms that are worth remembering, because they're true. Two for you are, there is a lid for every pot, and beauty is only skin deep. Beauty is at least as much about who you believe you are, and how you conduct your life, brain and attitude as it is about what's on the surface. Ok, so realistically perhaps you're not a contender for next top model, few are, but you surely are valuable and I'd be willing to bet that this notion you have about not being physically attractive is more in your mind than any type of objective reality. Everything is perception, and perception is everything. If you understand that you are uniquely beautiful, then you are... and this will enable you to connect with someone else who understands it. Height can be intimidating for shorter men but all that means is you're looking for someone who isn't intimidated or someone who's taller than you. Remember, emotions are the result of our thoughts and our thought are based on beliefs. Thoughts and beliefs that cause us emotional pain are usually irrational. Do not integrate the belief that you are ugly, because I can pretty well guarantee you that you are beautiful- it's just a matter of connecting with a person who is able to appreciate you for who you are.
ChatroomHero Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 If you were to ask the typical guy at my school if he would date me you would most likely be told " umm that tall black chick? no!" Haha it sucks but is very true. You have not asked the typical guy at your school. You are projecting what they would "most likely" say so you are not being honest in your assumption. You are saying your proof that you are ugly is that you THINK guys would say you are ugly. That's not proof, that's low self-confidence. I'm telling you, I think you are very attractive from that picture. That's being objective, you just don't want to believe it.
outsidethebox Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 salparadide wrote: "Ok, so realistically perhaps you're not a contender for next top model..." actually...
outsidethebox Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 You have not asked the typical guy at your school. You are projecting what they would "most likely" say so you are not being honest in your assumption. You are saying your proof that you are ugly is that you THINK guys would say you are ugly. That's not proof, that's low self-confidence. I'm telling you, I think you are very attractive from that picture. That's being objective, you just don't want to believe it. I'm pretty sure she has been saying that these guys say this stuff within her earshot, which is typical HS. She's never answered in this thread about numbers in her HS. Could be a small HS, not many possible matches, I don't know. Need to get beyond dealing with boys. She's ready for a little more mature guys a couple of years older.
ChatroomHero Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I'm pretty sure she has been saying that these guys say this stuff within her earshot, which is typical HS. She's never answered in this thread about numbers in her HS. Could be a small HS, not many possible matches, I don't know. Need to get beyond dealing with boys. She's ready for a little more mature guys a couple of years older. Yeah but read what she typed, she said they "would most likely say...", not that anyone has specifically told her she is ugly. In fact she said earlier she based it on her changing perception of herself and coming to realize she was ugly, not that anyone ever told her that. I wonder if she could point to more than 1 situation where guys actually said something like that first-hand. We know she is attractive so I would bet not. Low self-esteem has a funny way of making you assume the worst in every situation...like 1 guy turns you down so every guy "most likely" is the same and clearly thinks you're ugly too.
2sure Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 The attention or lack of attention you get from boys in high school is absolutely no reflection of the amount of attention you will get in college or beyond. One has nothing to do with the other. 2
coffeebean201 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 You need to find your own sensuality. And you certainly aren't going to get guidance about that from some guys in high school. I think it is great that you asked out guys to see if that would work. From now on, see if any guy pays you any attention. It usually means they like you. Any guy, anywhere, that starts a conversation with you, or seems to generally be in your way. - he likes you. It is really annoying and it is always at the worst time. But....he likes you. Whether you like him back is another matter. But there are guys out there that are going to like you very much. So check out the fashions for women with your body type and learn what clothing styles work best on you. And you are going to grow into your style:)
arthus1 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Hi, I'm 18 years old and I have come to the brunt realization that I am unattractive. I've gone through various stages of how I viewed the world and my niche in it. When I was a freshman I convinced myself that the reason why guys never asked me out was simply because I was tall (6ft). When sophomore year came around and guys were still repelled by me I told myself that in college it would be different and that high school guys didn't understanding my "kind" of beauty. By junior year I was convinced that I was an ugly duckling just waiting to blossom into a thin of beauty. Now I'm a senior and I've never been asked out on a date, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. And it ****in sucks. I've now realized how ugly I am and the implications that fact will have on me for the rest of my life. I'm so bitter about this but also grateful that I realized this before college so that I won't go into it with too high of expectations. My question is how do I let go of all my resentment and just accept being an ugly woman? I can't say much because I don't know what you look like. I've never been kissed either! never had a girlfriend before. I'm 6'4 so I'm taller than you.
salparadise Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Ok, I just found the pic linked in the other thread. I was dead wrong when I presumed, "perhaps you're not a contender for next top model." And the fact that the Ford agency wanted to sign you is objective verification. So the question then is, what's the basis of this insecurity that you're allowing to dominate your thoughts and feelings. You're problem is not the way you look or how tall you are... your problem is the way you think. You may have some body image issues. Do you really believe the Ford agency signs ugly girls? Your problem is that you are not believing in yourself and getting in touch with just how much potential you truly have. You need to be rational, and if you can't figure this out for yourself then get in to see a counselor... one who understands REBT.
ComingInHot Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Tallgirl; The ugly duckling/late bloomer theory is based... wait for it... ON ME * I WISH I were joking. I didn't start coming into my own until TWENTYTWO/give or take six months I was bullied, abused, treated horribly by peers. Now I'm aging like a fine wine and if you could only see the looks on these classmates today, well humble pie comes to mind... So, chin up my dear, shoulders back, head high... the best is yet to come!!!!
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