divorceddad Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Hmm lets see depends on what you are looking for. Casual Dating? Serious relationship etc. I would check out online dating web sites...seriously... After my Divorce I joined a couple of them and am now in a fantastic relationship with a wonderful woman....Dated a few other before I met her as well. If online is not your thing, Church? Volunteer Work? Book or wine club, you know just get out meet people. Not bars though...Everyone pretends they are something they are not in bars.
clia Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 After all, I do look similar to Necris. I think Necris is a cutie! My biggest issue is the city bus transportation. I can't stay for anything late-night and I have no access to a vehicle of any kind (and I don't know anyone close enough for me to ask for car rides so that's out of the question) so anything after 8 PM is off-limits until I get one myself. With that said, unless I start being brave and walking across major bridges, I can't go to most of them unless I accept being stranded until the next day. How do you intend to date someone given your transportation issues?
Hopeful30 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 i dont have a top 5 places, i dont even go out anymore cuz its always a disappointment every time (i dont mean only dating but even meeting quality people)
Author ltjg45 Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Man.... I'm sorry to rag on you, but it's just more excuses! You have to just DO IT! Can I be honest? Until my early 20's I hardly ever dated anyone. I hated how I looked and I was cripplingly shy. I was like all the guys here, I thought NOBODY would like me. But it got to a point where I was like... to hell with it... I don't care anymore if approaching a girl doesn't work because NOT approaching them sure as heck isn't working... I might as well fail trying something else! And you know... it takes some experiences to acclimatize to things, but you learn and you get better and now I can and have dated and met so many lovely and beautiful women. I'm no stud, I know I'm not anywhere near a 10 but if I act shy and keep to myself I get nowhere... VERY often the guy who's even a 5 or 6 makes up for it with huge personality and braveness and women often respond to it. Try not to keep focusing on the outcome.... next time you see a cute girl on the bus, say to heck with it... talk to her... just try to have a 2 minute conversation, make that your success... Next time, make it 5 minutes... once you're good at that, start working up to asking for a number or a coffee date or something. You won't get it done with just 3 girls... do it repeatedly and you'll notice trends and how they react to certain things you do and then see how to overcome that next time until you're eventually comfortable doing it and asking them out. I know it's hard man but it so easy to make excuses.... it's hard to start doing this stuff but if you want it, you've got to start doing what other guys out there are doing. You'll get it eventually... it might not be the first girl you approach but it's all about learning. I will give it a shot but, man, I can almost predict the failures to come.....or the slaps from her, whichever comes first. *shrug* Anyway, I'm trying. I did try to talk to this one woman on the skyway after she asked if she can reach a certain destination by that method. She smokes which should have told me not to bother since I don't smoke. Tried to start up a conversation. Failed miserably. I think I turned her off more than anything. Just left it alone and moved on with my day. I think Necris is a cutie! Well, I did say I look similar to Necris. I'm sure we both have some differences that would clearly separate each other. No offense to him, of course. How do you intend to date someone given your transportation issues? Well, it would be strictly through city transportation until I can upgrade. If that is a dealbreaker, then it can't be helped. I will simply accept that as more failure on my part. At my age of 26, I should be far better equipped than this and I can't blame a female that don't want to deal with it. Hmm lets see depends on what you are looking for. Casual Dating? Serious relationship etc. I would check out online dating web sites...seriously... After my Divorce I joined a couple of them and am now in a fantastic relationship with a wonderful woman....Dated a few other before I met her as well. If online is not your thing, Church? Volunteer Work? Book or wine club, you know just get out meet people. Not bars though...Everyone pretends they are something they are not in bars. Serious relationships. I'm looking to settle down and, hopefully, get married for the right reasons. It's the only reason why I would even try dating.
chex Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 This definitely is a bit off the wall, but one of my friends was asked out recently ... while she worked as a cashier at MacDonalds. She got a note in german which read "You're beautiful and I would love to get to know you better, can we go out?" And now she's dating the guy, they're pretty cool so far. Then again, she probably has thick skin and doesn't interpret much guys do as creepy/threatening, not exactly a typical girl.
Estate Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I will give it a shot but, man, I can almost predict the failures to come.....or the slaps from her, whichever comes first. *shrug* Anyway, I'm trying. I did try to talk to this one woman on the skyway after she asked if she can reach a certain destination by that method. She smokes which should have told me not to bother since I don't smoke. Tried to start up a conversation. Failed miserably. I think I turned her off more than anything. Just left it alone and moved on with my day. That's GREAT man! Don't let it get you down... you haven't been practicing this... you can't expect to marry the first girl! It's like any skill, you try it out, you suck, you keep at it and you get good at it. Meeting and talking to people is exactly the same when you're just not doing it regularly. Take something from this... think of what you said, how you looked at her, your tone of voice, things like that... next time pick one of those things to try differently, like as if you were talking to someone you knew.
Author ltjg45 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 That's GREAT man! Don't let it get you down... you haven't been practicing this... you can't expect to marry the first girl! It's like any skill, you try it out, you suck, you keep at it and you get good at it. Meeting and talking to people is exactly the same when you're just not doing it regularly. Take something from this... think of what you said, how you looked at her, your tone of voice, things like that... next time pick one of those things to try differently, like as if you were talking to someone you knew. In a way, it was awkward because I wasn't really "that" attracted to her. She's cute but she also smokes and has 2 noticable tattoos, two things that doesn't work well to me. (I'm a non-smoker and I don't have a single tattoo. Self-inflicted pain is not part of my vocabulary.) Oh well. I'm somewhat glad that didn't amount to anything. If it did, I would probably be more depressed.
Estate Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 In a way, it was awkward because I wasn't really "that" attracted to her. She's cute but she also smokes and has 2 noticable tattoos, two things that doesn't work well to me. (I'm a non-smoker and I don't have a single tattoo. Self-inflicted pain is not part of my vocabulary.) Oh well. I'm somewhat glad that didn't amount to anything. If it did, I would probably be more depressed. But you got out there and tried to strike up a conversation...! Success! You don't need to marry the girl.... As long as you take something from this and don't get sad about it, you're on the right path. There are the Brad Pitts of this world out there who can't even get every girl, he's a lot of girls type, but not everyones. Its a numbers game.
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