irc333 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Whooligan was posting before along the lines of how not really being focused on dating or even making friends, but more focused on self improvement, volunteering, finding addtional hobbies, etc , etc. But, there is such thing as too much of a good thing though, because you can alienate your friends and prospective dating opportunities if you do, esp. if you're a woman. There's this one woman I know....through a circle of friends, lately, she's hardly been sociable, people have been asking about her....and they said they'd try to get in touch with her...but she's either volunteering, occupied with her own hobbies, etc etc. Seems she's deliberately avoiding her friends by doing this....though, it's good thing what she's doing on her own. But, just as with anything, there are extremes. WE've been chatting on FB for quite some time, and I asked for her phone # to let her know of up and coming events in a quicker fashion...she said she didn't feel "comfortable" doing that because we only met a couple of times in person, and she'd probably give me her phone # if we met again in person....which is not likely, because she's being rather anti-social these days. We only had met once at a social gathering months ago, then I mentioned how me and some good friends of hers are going to a pretty cool event in mid-March. She said she was attending a 3-day convention on that weekend out of town....I thought it was for work related purposes Her friends can't get her to do ANYTHING with them (so it isn't just me), she's quite the hermit these days. What's really strange is, she's from Germany, and there's this German society group that hangs out at some of her culturally related events, and she even avoids those, too....just eating at a German restaurant, says the music is too noisy. But I figured I'd be an incentive to hang with your own tightly knit group. That being said, isn't there such thing as being to anti-social?
xxoo Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 She's probably getting plenty of social interaction through volunteering, hobbies, and work related things. She's just not socializing with your group. She's not highly interested in the events you want to tell her about, so obviously she doesn't want to give you her phone number for quicker notice.
RachR Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 It would only be hurting her if her focus and goal was dating and being a social butterfly with those friends. For all you know, she couldn't care about that right now.
Estate Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Whooligan was posting before along the lines of how not really being focused on dating or even making friends, but more focused on self improvement, volunteering, finding addtional hobbies, etc , etc. But, there is such thing as too much of a good thing though, because you can alienate your friends and prospective dating opportunities if you do, esp. if you're a woman. There's this one woman I know....through a circle of friends, lately, she's hardly been sociable, people have been asking about her....and they said they'd try to get in touch with her...but she's either volunteering, occupied with her own hobbies, etc etc. Seems she's deliberately avoiding her friends by doing this....though, it's good thing what she's doing on her own. But, just as with anything, there are extremes. WE've been chatting on FB for quite some time, and I asked for her phone # to let her know of up and coming events in a quicker fashion...she said she didn't feel "comfortable" doing that because we only met a couple of times in person, and she'd probably give me her phone # if we met again in person....which is not likely, because she's being rather anti-social these days. We only had met once at a social gathering months ago, then I mentioned how me and some good friends of hers are going to a pretty cool event in mid-March. She said she was attending a 3-day convention on that weekend out of town....I thought it was for work related purposes Her friends can't get her to do ANYTHING with them (so it isn't just me), she's quite the hermit these days. What's really strange is, she's from Germany, and there's this German society group that hangs out at some of her culturally related events, and she even avoids those, too....just eating at a German restaurant, says the music is too noisy. But I figured I'd be an incentive to hang with your own tightly knit group. That being said, isn't there such thing as being to anti-social? From what I can gather from your post. It sounds like she is being social enough. She is doing the volunteering and whatever else. Clearly that makes her happy. For my own reasons I've seperated myself from a group of friends recently. I'm not "fighting" with them but I came to a point where we are just not on the same wavelength and while I'll still be friendly with them and hang out from time to time... I don't see them as being a major positive in my life by relying on them as my only social circle. I get the impression she is doing the same. She seems to have other things going on in her life and isn't too into this group of friends right now.... so leave her to it. Having said all that, I think you're disguising this "concern" from what it really is. You like this girl, you want her to hang out with the group again so you can see her... why not just get in touch yourself and ask her out. If she says no, just leave it.
Author irc333 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 From what I can gather from your post. It sounds like she is being social enough. She is doing the volunteering and whatever else. Clearly that makes her happy. For my own reasons I've seperated myself from a group of friends recently. I'm not "fighting" with them but I came to a point where we are just not on the same wavelength and while I'll still be friendly with them and hang out from time to time... I don't see them as being a major positive in my life by relying on them as my only social circle. I get the impression she is doing the same. She seems to have other things going on in her life and isn't too into this group of friends right now.... so leave her to it. Having said all that, I think you're disguising this "concern" from what it really is. You like this girl, you want her to hang out with the group again so you can see her... why not just get in touch yourself and ask her out. If she says no, just leave it. I had recently spoken with her.....she said that her timing was just off, and we always seem to be having plans every weekend......she DID say that if it stays cool this week, that her and I can go hiking together....then she ends it with "So how's that sound?" I agreed to it...but again, she wont' give me her phone # because she's not "comfortable" just yet to do so....but she's suggesting Meeting up somewhere regardless.....find it rather strange she's willing meet up with me, but won't give me her phone #....she said she's only met me a couple of times and it just doesn't warrant as such. She's unreasonably cautious. WE've been chatting online this whole time.
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