sserrano49 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Ive been with my gf for four years. We started dating after her high school grad. I was hesitant to date her because she was off to college and it would be a long distance relationship. We had rocky moments but we always worked through it. She had always begged me to move with her so we can start our lives. I finally decided to make the sacrifice 5 months ago and we signed a six month lease on an apartment. So the other night my gf friends were over having some drinks and i decided to get to bed as i worked in the morning. Well i couldn't sleep as they were talking loud. So i listened and suddenly the convo turned into relationships. Thats when my girlfriend starts unloading about me that shes not happy that she wants to be doing more, that she loves getting attention from other guys, and our lease is up and nows the perfect time to break it off. I was shocked because just that day she wrote me on fb that she loved me and appreciates everything imdo for her and this relationship. So she comes to bed and tries holding me and telling me she loves me well i get pissed and tell her i heard everything. After about an hour of talking she basically sais she confused she loves me but she wants to be adventurous and do a lot more things before she settles down. Im kind of mad because i moved here and sacrificed a job and time now im stuck here. I usually do the NC thing but how can i now when were going to be loving together for another month. I dont even know how to go about this.
incandescent Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 aw man :/ i feel for you, that must have sucked to hear that... if i were in your shoes i would be pissed off too, and i would break-up with her, because if thats what she WANTS then what can you do?, if being with you is not what she wants then whats the point?... she will soon come crying back to you if she does want you, only my bit of advice tho man, take it with a pinch of salt... do what you feel is best : )
Author sserrano49 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 aw man :/ i feel for you, that must have sucked to hear that... if i were in your shoes i would be pissed off too, and i would break-up with her, because if thats what she WANTS then what can you do?, if being with you is not what she wants then whats the point?... she will soon come crying back to you if she does want you, only my bit of advice tho man, take it with a pinch of salt... do what you feel is best : ) yeah i mean i told her im going to push her away because i knew this would happen. Its not like ive never given her a chance to get out. I told her at least twice before that if shes confused to let me know and id understand. She always chose to be with me but now after i move hundreds of miles to live with her suddenly she changes her mind. Its like wtf. For valentines i treated her like a queen. Bought her flowers balloons took her to a nice place for dinner i reserved a week in advance took her to a romantic movie and now this. Im shook i just dont understand it.
incandescent Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 do you think there could be another guy involved? im not saying she is seeing anyone, but if it was out of the blue it could be a grass is greener situation? or maybe she has been speaking to her friends and they are saying stuff like the single life is better, blag blah and she wants to experience it, i dont know, there could be loads of reasons... i guess you could sit her down and have a mahooooooooosive chat about where to go from here
TaraMaiden Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 One: First of all, get her to sleep on the couch. Two: Plan how you're going to be able to either take over the lease and rent the apartment on your own (can you get a 'room-mate' to replace her in the tenancy?) or whether you should move out into a smaller pad you can afford. Three: Discuss everything with her on practical levels, but tell her that as far as you are concerned, she's free to go do what she likes, you guys will go your separate ways in a month, because she needs to make plans now, to move out and go her own way, as this is what she wants. She can't have both. That's called "being a 'cake-eater' honey".... Not on my watch, tell her.
Author sserrano49 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 One: First of all, get her to sleep on the couch. Two: Plan how you're going to be able to either take over the lease and rent the apartment on your own (can you get a 'room-mate' to replace her in the tenancy?) or whether you should move out into a smaller pad you can afford. Three: Discuss everything with her on practical levels, but tell her that as far as you are concerned, she's free to go do what she likes, you guys will go your separate ways in a month, because she needs to make plans now, to move out and go her own way, as this is what she wants. She can't have both. That's called "being a 'cake-eater' honey".... Not on my watch, tell her. Yea shes absolutely a cake eater. We talked a bit and basically shes saying she doesnt want to lose me but she needs to do this. She knows well get back together and shell be able to truely love me and appreciate me. Then she tries to hug me. I was like gtf out of here. So shes been gone all weekend she went back home to visit family. Every night she has sent me a text good night i love you. I think its GIGS shes almost 21 and shes probably planning to go crazy. Its sad because im not jelous. I dont tell her not to hang with friends. I dont tell her not to drink or what to wear. Im a laid back guy i have a good job i cook i clean i do everything for her. I like your recomendations luckily we have a two bedroom apmt so she has her own room. Im positive after the lease im moving closer to home. Shes really the only thing i have here so the only people i talk to is her friends so its going to difficult.
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