This is going to either make or break us.

[Radu]

I am still moving in, financially I have a few months cushion to lean on, so that is ok, it is more so the resentment that can build up due to me NOT working and HIM working that I am scared of. I have been working my ass off trying to find a job.

 

I am trying to make things a bit easier for him to, cooking, cleaning, I am trying over here. I just have this nudge of fear about him realizing one morning that he is with a jobless and carless woman and that he can do better. It definitely isn't ideal and I wouldn't blame him for it.

 

Deffinitely move in, but lower overall expenses if you can.

Drop the expensive cell phone, sell unused or useless junk and try to live as frugal as possible.

Try to talk to him about going out less, or making cheap dates while going out [not restaurant/some high place], like walking through the city, exploring the city, going to the museum ... etc.

The point is for him to set his spending on dates to your level, to not make you feel bad about not being able to contribute more.

Deffinitely take veggirl's advice, and make a job out of trying to find a job, cook as much as possible at home [cheaper].

 

If he understands and is willing to work with you on this one, this will turn out great.

Otherwise, it won't and doing this move ahead of time won't change things.

 

Be also very aware of the power structure in your relationship and notice if it shifts or not.

Some ppl believe that power is money in a relationship and will lord it over you. Be carefull of men like these, so always have a nestegg.

 

I think you'll do fine overall.

[Radu]

I live in nor-cal, luckily we live near a busy shopping center and a main street, so public transportation isn't bad. Lots of crazy people, but I won't put myself above it. I was using it already for school to save money on gas, so I will deal.

 

 

 

 

I worked for carmax... much different sales environment. Much better pay too. They wouldn't hire me, I can already tell you that. It is ok though, I am done with car sales.

 

What happened ?

[JuneJulySeptember]

Why can't you collect unemployment? The way the system is set up these days even people who are fired from cause from their jobs can collect. Not only could it 'tide you over', they might pay for you to finish your degree.

 

This could be a blessing in disguise if you choose to take advantage.

[miss_jaclynrae]

We definitely already live together... We don't just "spend time" at one another's place. Ive spent every night here at his since we first met. We share grocery bills, I help out with utilities, we literally live together already. I just have been paying for my own apartment over these months due toy lease and now my lease is going to be up, we will now not just retend to live together, but financially share this apartment.

 

They asked me to resign, it is a super ****ty situation and learning experience, it was due to sexual relations with a manager back in mid last year that finally came out and bit me on the ass. No unemployment for me.

 

 

 

 

And I did mean better pay as in more stable. I was an hourly employee and it works nothing like the traditional dealership meaning there was no competing for sales. I was commission but it was a base plus commission and the work environment was much different. Doesn't matter, It was sort of a blessing undisguise since I was hoping to get out over the summer. Just sooner than expected. And yes, I have no family to help so that has ne'er been an option.

 

 

 

 

As or my last relationship. It was a military marriage... So there were MANY factors to why it ended. My point was that I worked very hard to exonerate come an independent woman after being in a controlling and abusive relationship. I'm just getting used I having help.

[xpaperxcutx]

View this as test on the relationship. Even if you hadn't lost your job or your car, a financial problem such as the one you are experiencing now would have popped up sometime along in the future.

 

I suppose you might have to expand on your efforts to search for a job. Maybe try job placements or even a temporary part time job to help with expenses. I understand that you may feel like this is putting a strain on the relationship but since your boyfriend is so supportive, you must show him through actions what you are doing the best that you can.

 

Certainly, you might have need to cut down on personal expenses too, especially if you're going through your savings.

 

Don't stress yourself too much, as long as you know you're trying and your boyfriend sees that, I doubt there will be any animosity building up.

[kaylan]

We definitely already live together... We don't just "spend time" at one another's place. Ive spent every night here at his since we first met. We share grocery bills, I help out with utilities, we literally live together already. I just have been paying for my own apartment over these months due toy lease and now my lease is going to be up, we will now not just retend to live together, but financially share this apartment.

 

They asked me to resign, it is a super ****ty situation and learning experience, it was due to sexual relations with a manager back in mid last year that finally came out and bit me on the ass. No unemployment for me.

 

And I did mean better pay as in more stable. I was an hourly employee and it works nothing like the traditional dealership meaning there was no competing for sales. I was commission but it was a base plus commission and the work environment was much different. Doesn't matter, It was sort of a blessing undisguise since I was hoping to get out over the summer. Just sooner than expected. And yes, I have no family to help so that has ne'er been an option.

 

As or my last relationship. It was a military marriage... So there were MANY factors to why it ended. My point was that I worked very hard to exonerate come an independent woman after being in a controlling and abusive relationship. I'm just getting used I having help.

Everyone should take this as a great example of why you should not date or hook up with coworkers. Especially not superiors.

 

Good luck OP

[miss_jaclynrae]

View this as test on the relationship. Even if you hadn't lost your job or your car, a financial problem such as the one you are experiencing now would have popped up sometime along in the future.

 

I suppose you might have to expand on your efforts to search for a job. Maybe try job placements or even a temporary part time job to help with expenses. I understand that you may feel like this is putting a strain on the relationship but since your boyfriend is so supportive, you must show him through actions what you are doing the best that you can.

 

Certainly, you might have need to cut down on personal expenses too, especially if you're going through your savings.

 

Don't stress yourself too much, as long as you know you're trying and your boyfriend sees that, I doubt there will be any animosity building up.

 

 

As for finances we have already been pretty involved when it comes to discussing it. I actually have a few job opportunities, luckily I have been working my whole life and have great references and experience. It is just a matter of finding places that are hiring.

 

I actually have an interview this weekend with a Starbucks, I am pretty excited about it, I have been wanting to get back with the company and since we went over our money situation, we both think me working part time would be best.

 

I am lucky though, my boyfriend truly is an amazing support, he is a bit older, and keeps telling me that there were times where he had nothing and that **** happens. I really think it is a big reason he is being so amazing, he sort of expects things like this to happen at my age, even though for me it really is embarrassing.

 

Not to mention the fact that we are already really frugal, he works full times and goes to school, and I go to school full time and WAS working as well. Our lifestyle is already very low key. We don't go out much.

 

Everyone should take this as a great example of why you should not date or hook up with coworkers. Especially not superiors.

 

Good luck OP

 

It is true, everyone SHOULD. It was fun at the time but definitely NOT WORTH IT. You can't really trust anyone in the work place these days. It was one huge **** storm. Turns out he was two timing, had a girlfriend who already worked at our work place. She found out about us, and when the investigation started on him for sleeping with yet ANOTHER coworker and getting her pregnant, the girlfriend figured she would throw me under the bus even though it was long over.

You live and learn.