irc333 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Interesting, there was a Facebook invite that went out from this woman (and other friends) that I had gone out dancing with before. I was actually +1, because my male friend asked me if I'd like to join him, and a few other women. At that time, it was 3 women and 3 of us guys. Not a date really, but I had just met these ladies, one of them I knew on an acquaintance level. (All of them were relatively attractive, too) Last night, this invite went out to 1 man (my friend) and the rest were all women from what I saw in the list, at least from what I saw who was coming). I talked with him last night, he said he got the invite, but just didn't have the energy to attend. I just found it odd that I didn't get the invite, nor even some of the other of the many male friends on their friends list could've invited. One of the ladies remarked how my male friend, you always see 5 or 6 women around him, posing pictures, sitting in his lap, laughing, and having fun. But he hasn't really scored any dates with them....maybe that's why they like him around? He doesn't ask them out? And they avoid the men that they feel could be possibly be pursuing them in ANY fashion? This isn't the first time I've seen this happen. I had a married, male friend that invited 2 single ladies out to an event with a group of other friends, I think one woman was recently single, the other single for a while.....I think he was trying to introduce me. They bailed on the event early, and I got home, contacted him and said, "Hey, dude where'd yall take off too?" He said, "LOL, well, they got bored and wanted to go dancing." And I said, "Oh, what am I chopped liver? You didn't think to invite me?" And he said, "Well, I did ask them about you coming along, but they refused to have you come, figured you'd get the wrong idea' So there ya have it....I guess if women see a guy as a threat (threat meaning...."I hope he doesn't ask me out, so I'll avoid contact with him alotgether)....they'll just have men join them in social outings they see as eunicks or something? (not sure of the spelling).
normal person Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 But he hasn't really scored any dates with them....maybe that's why they like him around? He doesn't ask them out? Quite possibly. There are other factors too, but he seems like he's a legitimate friend and not someone who's trying to use friendship as a mask to try and wedge his way into a relationship. He also seems fun. I imagine girls rejecting their friends and then constantly having to interact with them thereafter isn't much fun at all. I have two pairs of friends who decided to date, had bad break ups and now don't talk. If everyone wants to hang out, some of them won't come just because the other person is going. In the second scenario you described, it sounds like they might actually think you might get the wrong idea... but in fairness to you, they could have clarified it beforehand somehow if they thought you'd have the wrong impression of the whole thing.
Author irc333 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 (edited) Quite possibly. There are other factors too, but he seems like he's a legitimate friend and not someone who's trying to use friendship as a mask to try and wedge his way into a relationship. He also seems fun. I imagine girls rejecting their friends and then constantly having to interact with them thereafter isn't much fun at all. I have two pairs of friends who decided to date, had bad break ups and now don't talk. If everyone wants to hang out, some of them won't come just because the other person is going. In the second scenario you described, it sounds like they might actually think you might get the wrong idea... but in fairness to you, they could have clarified it beforehand somehow if they thought you'd have the wrong impression of the whole thing. Or, it could be the ladies insecurities to assume too much? Some people tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater in their methods. Also, they might think "We're not attracted to him, so let's not have him tag along". Edited March 2, 2013 by irc333
Imported Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Damn it OP, I am going to have to kinda agree with you sort of. What I notice in my experience is women like to have a non-threatening (no chance of any romantic interest) guy friend. I go to conventions or trips for my company with a bunch of other co-workers, single attractive girl makes a bee-line to the least threatening guy with us. Many times it's a married guy that is very happily married. Failing that, a fat guy.
StanMusial Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Or, it could be the ladies insecurities to assume too much? Some people tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater in their methods. Also, they might think "We're not attracted to him, so let's not have him tag along". Just based on the information you gave in the OP, I'm guessing that guy is fairly good-looking. I have seen situations before where groups of girls would invite out the good-looking guy and ditch the rest. Even if they don't have romantic intentions they might view him as an accessory for the night out.
Author irc333 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Just based on the information you gave in the OP, I'm guessing that guy is fairly good-looking. I have seen situations before where groups of girls would invite out the good-looking guy and ditch the rest. Even if they don't have romantic intentions they might view him as an accessory for the night out. Nope, the guy is married. lol (at least in the 2nd scenario)
KraftDinner Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Nope, the guy is married. lol (at least in the 2nd scenario) But is he good looking? His being married wouldn't matter in the "accessory" theory (which I agree with, btw).
dasein Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Get new friends/acquaintances, if he was a friend he would have stood up and protested when he got the "get the wrong idea" rebuff about taking you along, and the women in question, at least the one who said that, is no prize herself.
carhill Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 So there ya have it....I guess if women see a guy as a threat (threat meaning...."I hope he doesn't ask me out, so I'll avoid contact with him alotgether)....they'll just have men join them in social outings they see as eunicks or something? (not sure of the spelling). Eunuch is the word you're looking for and, if you ever feel you're being treated as such, make a beeline of your own. Good luck.
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