strangefishy Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Apologies if I put this in the wrong thread. Anyway - my boyfriend is still really close to his ex. Although he doesn't consider her to be his ex because they only "officially" went out for a week but were sleeping with each other for 2 years or so. Lately I've noticed that he texts her a lot, and a few times when he wasnt looking, I've snooped through the messages and often they talk about me - stuff ranging from birthday gift ideas to fights we're having. I've already expressed my displeasure for this, I really don't like him telling her personal stuff from our relationship and he said he wouldn't do it again. So then a few weeks later I found a particular conversation where he told her the stuff i will/will not do in bed and the stuff that I do that he doesn't like I really am at a loss of what to do here because he clearly didn't get the message the first time, and I know he will be annoyed that I've been looking through his phone again (he keeps saying that I shouldn't have anything to worry about and that i should trust him, but obviously there is something to be concerned of). I don't believe he will ever cheat on me but I'm really pissed off that he talks about me behind my back to his "ex". Any advice would be great.
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Apologies if I put this in the wrong thread. Anyway - my boyfriend is still really close to his ex. Although he doesn't consider her to be his ex because they only "officially" went out for a week but were sleeping with each other for 2 years or so. Lately I've noticed that he texts her a lot, and a few times when he wasnt looking, I've snooped through the messages and often they talk about me - stuff ranging from birthday gift ideas to fights we're having. I've already expressed my displeasure for this, I really don't like him telling her personal stuff from our relationship and he said he wouldn't do it again. So then a few weeks later I found a particular conversation where he told her the stuff i will/will not do in bed and the stuff that I do that he doesn't like I really am at a loss of what to do here because he clearly didn't get the message the first time, and I know he will be annoyed that I've been looking through his phone again (he keeps saying that I shouldn't have anything to worry about and that i should trust him, but obviously there is something to be concerned of). I don't believe he will ever cheat on me but I'm really pissed off that he talks about me behind my back to his "ex". Any advice would be great. No. And no. And no. That is beyond disrespectful. You make that clear to him. You make it clearer than hell to him. I would, if I where you, breakup with his ass. That is absolutely wrong. If he disrespects you to her, he does to everyone else I am sure.
sayyes19 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 No. And no. And no. That is beyond disrespectful. You make that clear to him. You make it clearer than hell to him. I would, if I where you, breakup with his ass. That is absolutely wrong. If he disrespects you to her, he does to everyone else I am sure. I would dump him. If he is talking to one of his friends about you like that he doesn't see you as long term potential. Don't even explain why. Just leave. 1
AMusing Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 So as I'm reading your post, I think, "Ok, he asks this ex for birthday gift advice. That's harmless, and even reassuring. It indicates that there's nothing romantic between them anymore. Getting advice about fights.... Well, not so good, but still nothing to get really upset about (asking him to stop, sure, but not a deal-breaker)." Then I get to the part where he's sharing details of your sex life with this girl, and telling her things you do he dislikes?!? I was giving him the benefit of the doubt until then, but for heaven's sake.... This is two strikes rolled into one: he broke a promise he made you (by saying anything personal about your relationship with his ex), AND he said unflattering sexual things about you to anyone. Neither of those things should be acceptable; like the other posters, I'd break up with him immediately. I doubt anyone would think what he did was ok. 3
Joaquin Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 What a sneaky horrible dickhead. Dump... and find a guy that shows a girl a bit of respect.
TaserTag Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I'd also break up with a guy over this. You had a talk with him about how uncomfortable this was making you and he keeps doing it, but makes it even worse. I also find it really odd and hugely disrespectful that he'd mention the things that you do in bed, especially to someone else that he used to have sex with. It almost seems like he's hoping to stroke her ego. He's letting his ex into the private details of your relationship and your bedroom. Not okay at all.
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