Locust Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 There is this this girl who is in mid 30's, and she bigger than me (in terms of weight), she missing one front tooth and have some acne. I thought it might be okay to give it a shot. Some people say just go for it, it will be good practice.
carhill Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 IMO, don't use people you would otherwise not associate with for 'practice'. If your interactions with the lady impel you to want to ask her on a date, then do that. If not, don't. You can 'practice' on genuinely felt emotions of attraction when they occur. You mentioned 'fully attracted'. What does that mean to you? 3
Author Locust Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 You mentioned 'fully attracted'. What does that mean to you? Meaning I feel completely attracted to the person.
Author Locust Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 You mentioned 'fully attracted'. What does that mean to you? Meaning I feel completely attracted to the person. But for this girl I don't feel any attraction towards her but I thought it would be okay for dating practice.
Eggplant Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Would you like it if a woman asked you out for practice? 1
mesmerized Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Yeah, I'm sure this thread is all kinds of serious. I'll be honest, people who make threads like this don't even deserve relationships or any dating experience. The misery they are in is very well deserved. 1
carhill Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Meaning I feel completely attracted to the person. We need descriptions: Completely attracted: 'I couldn't catch my breath, she appeared so beautiful I thought I was in a dream' Partially attracted: 'My, she looks pretty. Maybe I should talk to her' I've run across the former a couple times. The best way I can describe it is like the dreamy way David Lean lit Julie Christie in Dr. Zhivago where all one could focus on were her beautiful eyes. Everything else in the room kind of fades into the background and one loses the ability to speak. Or something like that... If this woman doesn't tickle either potential, I'd pass.
Author Locust Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Some people I know told me I should do that. It was not my idea.
CudLRoo Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Don't mess her around, mate. 'Practice' on people you wanna date. What's the point in leading someone on when you're just gonna end up hurting them? Christ. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 There is this this girl who is in mid 30's, and she bigger than me (in terms of weight), she missing one front tooth and have some acne. I thought it might be okay to give it a shot. Some people say just go for it, it will be good practice. as a rule i dont date guys when friends tell me too if it takes then to tell me i should i probably shouldn't....it has to be your own choice and considering you are asking you shouldnt date her ....deb
normal person Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 An emotional investment combined with a physical attraction is what you need to experience, not the basic motions of organizing a date and agonizing over who picks up the check. When you actually like a person, it will affect your thoughts, feelings and actions--those things in conjunction with considerations for another person is what you need to familiarize yourself with. There's no way to practice it. Practicing on someone who you aren't interested in would be like practicing free throws because you really want to make the football team. It'll be completely nonsensical and useless. I think you just need to play football, y'know? Also there's the whole morality of it all. It's very misleading to the girl. "We talkin' about practice."
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Would you like it if a woman asked you out for practice? As long as she didn't let on that was her intention, then h@ll yes. No woman has ever asked me out. 1
normal person Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 As long as she didn't let on that was her intention, then h@ll yes. No woman has ever asked me out. Yeah, but how would you feel when you inevitably found out? Much worse, I imagine.
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Yeah, but how would you feel when you inevitably found out? Much worse, I imagine. There's tons of things that I have thought about my exes and friends, and family that will never get out and will go with me to the grave. That's the problem people have. They are unable to separate their thoughts from actions. Why on Earth would you let something like that out?
crude Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Just be careful that she doesn't practice her MMA on you when you dump her.
Author Locust Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 (edited) After reading you guys posts and thinking about it, I won't do it. I'm just frustrated being a dateless person and feel like my life is just a waste because I'm enjoying it the way I wanted to. I guess the worst thing that could happen is I just be single for the rest of my life, and never get to experience what others can. Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake that I was even born, maybe I'm better off not being born in the first place if I'm always going to be a loner. Maybe I should just visit a hooker since that is about as close its going to get anyways, I just hate being that guy who is always the helper and say I'm nice and never go anywhere with it. If I get a judge by a hooker then I guess who cares, its not like I was going to date anyways. Just as miserable even without having to use a escort yet. I'm sorry sound like this but I just have to vent out my frustrations. Edited March 2, 2013 by Locust
carhill Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 OP, I experienced dozens of rejections during my 20's and early 30's, mainly while still a virgin and pursuing a style of becoming attracted over time, rather than the customary 'love/lust at first sight' which seems to be more prevalent in my demographic. Like yourself, I started wondering if I should 'ask out' women who held no exigent interest to me. I tried all sorts of things and did dabble with what you spoke of in your topic. The lesson from those experiences was that 1. It was a waste of time and 2. Those women were really good at reading when a guy isn't 'into her'. So, armed with those experiences, I moved on. If you want to learn the same way, give it a try. I'd pass, knowing what I know, and having been in subsequent LTR's and a marriage, but perhaps personal experience is the best teacher. Good luck.
Author Locust Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 I'm not sure what to do anymore, I feel my 20's are wasted, no fun. I wish I could restart my 20's back over again. I turn 27 in July and hate to think I will still be a virgin at 27 years old. It's just frustrating, if I don't lose it my V before 27 then I'ma just hire a escort. I don't want to go sexless in all my 20's of my young life. Most guys by late 30's sex drive cool down, time is running out for me. I don't want to be taking Viagra.
carhill Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Most guys by late 30's sex drive cool down, time is running out for me. I don't want to be taking Viagra. If you're otherwise healthy, that #1 wood can be working well beyond your 50's. OTOH, make a few bad choices with it in partner selection and it can change your whole life. When in doubt, stay out. That's my motto. Woody agrees.
normal person Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 There's tons of things that I have thought about my exes and friends, and family that will never get out and will go with me to the grave. That's the problem people have. They are unable to separate their thoughts from actions. Why on Earth would you let something like that out? It wouldn't be let out too willingly. I think you'd become pretty aware of it once the intimacy level superseded any benefit of practice she was getting out of it. I can't see a girl kissing a guy for practice, banging a guy for practice, etc. If she has zero attraction towards you and any reservation about it at all, the odds are she wouldn't cross that bridge. In this very hypothetical situation that I don't ever see happening anyways, I imagine most girls would stop themselves before things got too emotional or too physical. It don't see it stopping most guys, though.
Necris Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Yeah, I'm sure this thread is all kinds of serious. I'll be honest, people who make threads like this don't even deserve relationships or any dating experience. The misery they are in is very well deserved. It has been my experience if you never get any attention from women and all the women you are attracted to reject you, it may seem reasonable to see how it goes with women you are only slightly attracted to. Though unfortunately for the OP, just because you may not find her super attractive doesn't mean she will find you attractive, most likely she will be unattracted to you and you will be rejected.
IndianGuy87 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 There's no point. You are not attracted to her which means you are just leading her on. Why play around with someone?
Author Locust Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 I always hear that we should lower our standards a bit catch a potential date. And maybe I'm lowering my standards a bit too far. I always try to go for the nerdy Chinese girls who wear glasses, and deep inside I'm never truly interested. Not so much looks but personality and character. I would go for American women but I'm afraid they won't be interested in me. I talk to American women (I'm American myself) but they may see me as someone not in their league that could be very boring. I'm good at making people laugh, but I just feel I'm not the fit for them. I don't even know if American women would like a guy is mixed with Indian and Latin. That is why I lower my standards beyond my taste, but I feel that maybe the only option to ever date anyone. I'm not trying to hurt anyone feelings, I just hope everyone understand that on this thread, I just feel I'm screwed.
PhillyDude Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 There is this this girl who is in mid 30's, and she bigger than me (in terms of weight), she missing one front tooth and have some acne. I thought it might be okay to give it a shot. Some people say just go for it, it will be good practice. And what is that going to accomplish but make you more depressed you don't have someone you are attracted to?
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