FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 So I was dating this girl, we went out a couple of times and she really seemed to be into me. I tried my best, but always being myself. Basically I treated her as I'd like to be treated, I was chivalrous, made her laugh, ensured we had a good time. And everything was going great, we texted each other daily, either via cell phone or via Facebook and then it happened... NOTHING. She stopped texting me, no contact, full stop. This was 2 weeks ago, Around the first week I saw her online and talked to her, but she seemed distant. I dared not ask and tried to start a conversation normally, but she pretty much left after we exchanged a few sentences. Later, when I brought up that I missed her and that it had been a week since we had last seen each other, she said "It was just a week, don't worry". And it pretty much went downhill after that. I did see her online way less often than usual. But I didn't talk to her. I am actually clueless as to what may have happened and what should I do? Should I ask her? Everything was fine last time we saw each other. I'm really lost...
TigerCub Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Sucks when that happens. Don't ask her anything. You already expressed that you missed her, so she knows - if she misses you she should contact you. Don't chase. 2
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 I wish I knew what went wrong...
TigerCub Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I wish I knew what went wrong... You guys only went out a couple of times, I'm guessing she met someone else and instead of just letting you know that she wasn't interested in taking things further with you, she did the douchy cowardly ignore thing instead.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 When I say a couple is more like 10 That's the philosophy of a Mr fix it. There was never anything you could have fixed. You can easily get yourself bogged down with that kind of thinking. There is no mystery to it. There are a lot of garbage women out there. The date could have been great and it still wouldn't matter. I see what you mean. Is more out of curiosity than anything else
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Specially because everything was going great. She seemed very attached to me, and in casual conversation with one of her friends she revealed that she talked about me a lot... Since I'm rather inexperienced I find myself quite curious about what may have changed things so drastically... It sounds like she's gotten involved with someone else. She didn't seem the type. But what do I know?... You could be right.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 And that's why I posted here. To get other points of view, I did feel bad for a couple of days but now I'm just driven by mere curiosity.
mortensorchid Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Well if you want to see her again, just ask. If she never responds to "I'm free on (date)" then move on.
SJC2008 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 When I say a couple is more like 10 10 dates? Sorry to hear that. What legth of time did these 10 dates span? Were yall having sex? Did yall meet online?
neveragain34 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 For her to say "it was just a week, don't worry", tells me you were probably suffocating her or being clingy and she finally got tired of it. She may have met someone else, but only because you weren't giving her space and she lost interest.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 When someone cools off that quickly it can mean 2 things: 1. She has met someone else 2. She wasn't as interested as she had you believe. She might have thought that she wants a relationship in an abstract sense and tried to talk herself into giving you a shot. But deep down, she just wasn't that attracted. Once the reality of that set in, she decided to start avoiding you. I am not proud to say but I have done number 2. more times than I care to admit. It's not even conscious and she likely feels bad for leading you on. Realistically, at this stage she doesn't owe you an explanation.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 A decent person knows they owe others an explanation. It is a simple case of manners. Yeah, I agree it would be nice of her to say something. I just re-read this thread and realized that they have been on 10 dates and not 2. 10 dates is a lot - especially because her already asked he what's up. She is taking the cowardly way out.
vanek26 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Women are just generally flippant when it comes to this sort of stuff. Even though giving an explanation is the 'right' thing to do... it almost never happens. Vanishing and flaking is so much easier than having the courage to be honest, so I would never expect a girl to be upfront about that. Her behavior shows that she has clearly lost interest. The worst thing you can do is keep forcing the issue and annoying her even more. It's probably making you seem desperate and unattractive. It sounds harsh, but I've been in your shoes more than enough times...
curlygirl40 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Unfortunately something changed and she's no longer interested. And instead of letting you know, she did the fade away. You may never know the reason. Go to youtube and type in Garfunkel and Oates The Fade Away. Sad but funny. Good luck, time to move on.
neveragain34 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Girls who are interested will freak out if their guy doesn't at least call them in a day and doesn't see them in a week. That she thought it was no biggie shows how much she cares. That he put up with weird behavior for two weeks clearly demonstrates how clingy he wasn't. They were only dating...any girl who freaks out if a guy she is just dating doesn't call everyday has some serious issues. He did say they texted daily, which is fine, but there's also such thing as "too much" texting, calling, etc in the beginning. OP, could you have suffocated her? If not, it sounds like she just lost interest. Sorry.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 To clarify I did not suffocate her. I may be inexperienced but I have common sense. I don't believe she owes me anything either... I'm just curious. All our dates were great, we both had a great time and we always ended up making out passionately. To go from that, to nothing so abruptly, I just wanna try to figure it out.
dasein Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Ten dates?!? and rude fade without explanation? Trash, female or male, no real excuse possible. She did you a favor other than in confusing you unnecessarily. Bullet dodged, move on. No need to know -why-, you know -what- you are dealing with so the why would likely be annoying at best and leave you more puzzled and confused worst case. Good luck. 1
carhill Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I wish I knew what went wrong... Your association ended after 10 dates. Sometimes 'what went wrong' only becomes clear in retrospect. Sometimes there is no wrong, just end. Life goes on.
outsidethebox Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 They make movies and write books about stuff like this. In her mind there's some perfectly valid reason for dropping you off the face of the Earth. And that's where that reason will stay.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Oh well... I'm guessing talking to her in the rare occasion she actually is online is completely out of the question and a really stupid idea, right?
Mrlonelyone Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Oh well... I'm guessing talking to her in the rare occasion she actually is online is completely out of the question and a really stupid idea, right? After ten dates, going out once or twice a week that works out to two months of dating. Probably some more than friendly physical intimacy. Yes you should talk to her. Talk to her and see where her head is at. In an ideal world relationships would have a steady linear progression of growing intimacy from meeting to marriage. Everything would be perfect with no breaks or bumps. It would not be work. Relationships are work, the real question is are they worth the work? Before writing her off and ask her if you can work on the relationship (after that long and that many dates even if it's not exclusive it's a relationship of some kind.) If not then you have your answer. Suppose she's playing a game where she pulls back to see what you will do? You've proven you're not clingy now it's time to act like you like her enough to pursue her a bit more.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 After ten dates, going out once or twice a week that works out to two months of dating. Probably some more than friendly physical intimacy. Yes you should talk to her. Talk to her and see where her head is at. In an ideal world relationships would have a steady linear progression of growing intimacy from meeting to marriage. Everything would be perfect with no breaks or bumps. It would not be work. Relationships are work, the real question is are they worth the work? Before writing her off and ask her if you can work on the relationship (after that long and that many dates even if it's not exclusive it's a relationship of some kind.) If not then you have your answer. Suppose she's playing a game where she pulls back to see what you will do? You've proven you're not clingy now it's time to act like you like her enough to pursue her a bit more. You think so? And what should I say? "Hey it's been like 2 weeks since we last spoke at all. What's up?"
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