spiderowl Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Are you currently very attracted to someone who doesn't know it? Have you indicated it to him/her in any way? I just wondered how many people had secret crushes in their lives and what had stopped you from letting them know. 1
CudLRoo Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 With me, it used to be shyness, intense and extreme. Awkwardness then avoidance was oft the most inevitable outcome.
kristinaaa Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I've never told any guy that I like them first until they tell me. I always wait for the guys to do it since I'm stubborn like that.
Author spiderowl Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 That's a shame. I usually wait for some clear signal they like me or I assume they are not interested. It gets awkward chatting to someone when you have a crush on them; it's hard to be normal. If a guy I had a crush on did not come and chat to me or ask me out, then I would assume he had no interest. I wonder if guys realise they could be losing out if they don't make some attempt to show interest?
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I have had feelings for my boss on and off for 6 years now. It is not appropriate to let him know in any way so I keep it to myself. He only recently became single, so we will see. Maybe one day.
Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I have had feelings for my boss on and off for 6 years now. It is not appropriate to let him know in any way so I keep it to myself. He only recently became single, so we will see. Maybe one day. you don't tend to like many people!!!! 1
todreaminblue Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I always let the guy know in spite of my awkwardness about it...i still jump.....i do find it hard to talk to him now, because the feelings werent returned....but he is a gentleman about it all so ....still awkward but manageable...i feell prety transparent aroudn him...hope i am not......i look forward to seeing him when i do ...he just makes me smile even if i have had crap days....he has a wonderful smile....so i am ....awkward...but with a smile on my face..i wouldnt tell him again because that woudl be uncomfortable i enjoy seeing him ill leave it as is..deb
CudLRoo Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 ^Aw, man, you are exhibiting EXACTLY the type of traits I hope my current 'bff' would have - if I conjoined both of you, I would be happy like a rat in a hat full of scat. Alas... PS: I always let them know, seems to be a 50/50 odds type of thing, once you do that, it's make or break, prepare for turbulence. 1
RachR Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 (edited) Are you currently very attracted to someone who doesn't know it? Have you indicated it to him/her in any way? I just wondered how many people had secret crushes in their lives and what had stopped you from letting them know. I am, very much so. He knew about it several months ago. And he was attracted to me. But I don't know if he still thinks I am, as I've been "quiet" about it for awhile now. But I likely give myself away, he can probably tell. I don't know how he feels about me now. Thing is, he's my boss. These days I feel all fuzzy inside when he is near but keep it to myself. Edited March 2, 2013 by RachR
PhoenixRysing Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I currently have a crush on a guy that I work with. I haven't told him directly but the one time we were together outside of work I thought I was pretty obvious with my flirting. I was hoping for him to ask me out. After a thread here about it and running the scenario past a couple of male friends, I found out that men these days don't necessarily read a lot into flirtation - for myriad reasons. We met up again yesterday for a "work" discussion "at a bar" and this time it was just the two of us verses the group setting it was last time and I was more direct. He indicated the next time we should meet closer to where I live and my response was, "Sounds great, and you know - it doesn't have to be about (the work topic we have been meeting about)." I hope he gets it now... 1
Author spiderowl Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 I currently have a crush on a guy that I work with. I haven't told him directly but the one time we were together outside of work I thought I was pretty obvious with my flirting. I was hoping for him to ask me out. After a thread here about it and running the scenario past a couple of male friends, I found out that men these days don't necessarily read a lot into flirtation - for myriad reasons. We met up again yesterday for a "work" discussion "at a bar" and this time it was just the two of us verses the group setting it was last time and I was more direct. He indicated the next time we should meet closer to where I live and my response was, "Sounds great, and you know - it doesn't have to be about (the work topic we have been meeting about)." I hope he gets it now... Sounds like a good hint without actually spelling it out! I wish I could find someone I even wanted to give that hint to. That last one I liked was snapped up before I could.
Author spiderowl Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 I always let the guy know in spite of my awkwardness about it...i still jump.....i do find it hard to talk to him now, because the feelings werent returned....but he is a gentleman about it all so ....still awkward but manageable...i feell prety transparent aroudn him...hope i am not......i look forward to seeing him when i do ...he just makes me smile even if i have had crap days....he has a wonderful smile....so i am ....awkward...but with a smile on my face..i wouldnt tell him again because that woudl be uncomfortable i enjoy seeing him ill leave it as is..deb I think you should feel proud for being honest with yourself and letting him know. It's a shame it wasn't returned. I wouldn't hang around him if you do want it to be returned or he'll think you are an option one day. Far better he suddenly realises you are not that easily available and that he'll have to go looking for you and you are worth working for.
april38 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Are you currently very attracted to someone who doesn't know it? Have you indicated it to him/her in any way? I just wondered how many people had secret crushes in their lives and what had stopped you from letting them know. I had a secret crush on a supervisor at work for a year and a half. I knew all the girls liked him at work, and that he was my authority, so I never pursued him. When he came around I would smile and flaunt my qualities around him, but never tried to get him to ask me out. Well guess what - he eventually did, we dated for 2 months, and then recently dumped me, you know why?? Because he's my supervisor!! Sucks doesn't it?! :-)
RachR Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I know myself that rationally, it would be a bad idea to date my boss, but, ugh! Pesky feelings...
somedude81 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I have had feelings for my boss on and off for 6 years now. It is not appropriate to let him know in any way so I keep it to myself. He only recently became single, so we will see. Maybe one day. I am, very much so. He knew about it several months ago. And he was attracted to me. But I don't know if he still thinks I am, as I've been "quiet" about it for awhile now. But I likely give myself away, he can probably tell. I don't know how he feels about me now. Thing is, he's my boss. These days I feel all fuzzy inside when he is near but keep it to myself. I had a secret crush on a supervisor at work for a year and a half. I knew all the girls liked him at work, and that he was my authority, so I never pursued him. When he came around I would smile and flaunt my qualities around him, but never tried to get him to ask me out. Well guess what - he eventually did, we dated for 2 months, and then recently dumped me, you know why?? Because he's my supervisor!! Sucks doesn't it?! :-) Anybody see a common theme? In a few moments there will be women posting about their secret crush on their professor.
somedude81 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 For myself, there are two girls that are on my mind but it isn't anything close to a crush yet. I need to make some kind of move soon so I can get rejected and move on to other prospects.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I like powerful men, but it's a lot more than that in this scenario
Anela Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 When I feel that way, I look for things about them that might bug the hell out of me - because it's sure to happen if I actually end up going out with them. Are they persnickety? Do they not like animals? It helps a bit.
somedude81 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I like powerful men, but it's a lot more than that in this scenario You and a billion other women. 99% of the time if there is a thread about somebody having a crush on their professor or their boss, the author will be a woman.
runningfar Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 (edited) I don't think I've ever had a secret crush. Maybe I'm not good at keeping secrets. I don't tend to be interested in anybody else when I'm in a relationship (which I almost always have been in my life) and if I was I would tell them. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. (Actually, after two years single, a crush on somebody and telling them and it NOT working out is what convinced me to consider other dates and that is how I realized my other friend liked me and now we're dating and very happy.) Edited March 3, 2013 by runningfar
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