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I don't understand this guy's behavior?


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Posted

Basically there's this guy who I see around town and have lots of mutual friends with but had never spoken to. I started to realise I was attracted to him on NYE when he served me at the bar he works at. He served me a couple of other times after then but I couldn't bring myself to say anything to him and he barely looked at me and always looked down when he served me. He also goes to this rock club night that I go to and I've seen him looking at me there. Finally on Valentine's Day I went to the bar and when he was serving someone else he kept looking over at me and finally started a conversation with me. He asked how I was etc and started talking about his shift then asked me if I would be at the rock club night which was the next day, which I was.

 

Well the club night came and through out the night he didn't speak to me at all. There were a couple of times when he sat near me (e.g on the same sofa) but I had people around me so we couldn't speak. Finally I went out and found him in a group of people, one of them I knew, and tried to join the group. But the whole time he didn't look at me once! It was like I wasn't even there. A short while later he was sat opposite me and we had a bit of awkward eye contact then he finally said Hello and waved at me enthusiastically as if he had only just seen me, which he obviously had ages ago. He was also pretty drunk at this point. For the huge portion of the night I was talking to my male friend so I'm not sure if he got the wrong idea or something.

 

Now he is quite a shy guy so a couple of days later I decide to add him on facebook as I thought conversation might me easier there. After he accepted me I send him a short message. We have what I feel is a good back and fourth conversation over the week. He would always send long, enthusiastic messages asking me about myself and telling me about himself. Basically getting to know each other. He would also always apologise for replying late and explaining that how late his shifts are. Even I ended the convo he still replied asking more questions about me. He asked me again if I would be at the rock night which would take place the following weekend. I said yes and he seemed happy about that. He didn't reply to my last message but I didn't mind as the club night was the following day and I knew I'd see him there and I thought after the communication it would be easier for us to speak. But the night came and this time he didn't speak to me at all. I was disappointed again and I came home drunk and sent him a message apologising for not saying Hi because I was being shy and also I started feeling sick later in the night. I also also said that I hope he had a great night. He never replied to that message and this was a week ago now.

 

Is there any way I can salvage this situation with him?

Posted

You haven't done anything wrong. If he's very shy, he might not know how to approach you without appearing awkward, so he doesn't then maybe regrets it later. But, at some point he's going to have to take some initiative.

 

I think you've done enough to show him you like him. Just chat when he wants to and smile when you see him. If he doesn't make any attempt to chat to you and try to ask you out fairly soon, then maybe he's just not that interested.

Posted

Oh, god, he's so damn SHY, shyer than I ever felt I was!!!!

 

Might be a good idea to treat him like a good doctor would a patient, purely logically, just explain to him how you feel. Guys get bull****ted all the time, it's refreshing when girls are honest.

Posted

Despite your honestly, I hate to say that he's not interested. Shy? He might be, but chances are he's not shy with other things in his life. You did your best, move on.

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Posted

Due to facebook stalking I know that he's shy when he's interested in a girl/doesn't know how to talk to girls. But I don't think that explains not replying to my message.

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Posted

Another factor to this is that he has a friend who's been very interested in me. Actually 3 of his friends have expressed interest in me but 2 have asked me out a lot and not really left me alone. But only 1 of them would have maybe told him about it. This guy hasn't contacted me recently though so I think he may have moved on. I saw a girl comment on his page thanking him for a gift or something so I think he may be dating someone now.

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Posted

Any more input?

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