SiaLv82 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 How long into dating does it take for you to be comfortable sharing your financial info? I am currently dating a professional who has a rather high future earning potential. He hangs out with the same type and often invites me along. I am at the low end of pay for my current field and sometimes think he thinks that I am making much more than I do. He is a great guy and always pays for everything but the problem is the places and things he likes to do are typically out of my budget or at the very least not something I could afford on a regular basis. This weekend for example he invited me along for a black tie event. It was last minute and I used that as an excuse to back out. Reality of it is that I really would rather not spend the amount of money needed to dress for such an event. We are "casually" dating per my own request but he definitely treats it more like a relationship. Would you tell him you can't afford or not say anything unless you decide to become official first? Confused and not sure.
kristinaaa Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I think it's best to release any kind of financial situation once you two have been in a relationship together for at least a year or so. But in my case though we already knew each others bank account even though we're just seeing each other (not a good idea) but hey if you guys trust each other then feel free. I just think it would be much better to do that after a year. Usually those kind of things are major personal stuff and some couples don't usually tell each other that once married or if they have been together for years.
FitChick Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Nothing wrong with saying "It's out of my budget range" or "I can't afford it right now" without going into specifics. There are places where you can rent a formal dress. You can also go to consignment shops or eBay for bargains. Any friends your size who could loan you a dress? If he goes to these events fairly regularly, you could have something ready that wouldn't cost you a fortune. The little black dress is classic. 1
Author SiaLv82 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 I think it's best to release any kind of financial situation once you two have been in a relationship together for at least a year or so. But in my case though we already knew each others bank account even though we're just seeing each other (not a good idea) but hey if you guys trust each other then feel free. I just think it would be much better to do that after a year. Usually those kind of things are major personal stuff and some couples don't usually tell each other that once married or if they have been together for years. I always thought the sooner the better for that type of stuff. I wouldn't want to be a year in and only find out at that point that the one I am in love with is knee deep in debt or incapable of handling their finances. Of course life happens and sometimes things are out of ones control but I would still want to know exactly what I am getting myself into. If its true love then anything can be worked out but would just rather know upfront
Sanitarium Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Most men don't have the income requirements women have. I wouldn't have any problem dating or marrying a woman who made a half (or even third) of my income as long as she is self sufficient Just be self sufficient and you'll be fine 1
curlygirl40 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I agree with Fitchick... There are lots of things you can say without giving the full picture. I don't want to spend the money right now, it's not in my budget, etc. should work for now until you're comfortable giving out more info. 1
2sure Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 1. Since he has been inviting you out and paying for it, reciprocate in a way you can afford. Invite him to dinner at your place. I'm sure if you are livng in a modest place he will grasp your financial boundaries. And that's fine. 2. Buy a cocktail dress. A plain black sheath is all you need for a black tie event and you can accessories it.
Recommended Posts