Geiss Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I have been looking up how a person like me can actually meet someone. I am a pretty quiet person and keep to myself most of the time. I used to be a lot more optimistic and happy but as time has gone on most people now seem to piss me off. I let a lot of people push me around when I was younger and I was afraid to stick up for myself and after years of tolerating it I started to get angrier and a lot less tolerant to the point where I can be pretty cold and aggressive and confrontational if people step on my toes or get in my face. That being said I looked at advice for how someone like me can comfortably meet someone. I don't like being in crowds. I hate dancing aside from slow dancing because any idiot can walk around in circles. The ideas I see are terrible for someone like me. Especially since I don't really have a wingman so I have to do it solo. I don't like hanging out in coffee shops. I don't want to do any dancing. Don't want to raise any tropical fish. That was an idea someone had believe it or not. Never met anyone in a grocery store. I'm imagining that it is quite rare to pick up someone there. Online dating I don't really want to do. I get tired of spending time writing out profile related messages instead of a copy and paste and doing it multiple times, spending who knows how long per message and don't get any responses. I know the game how the odds are severely stacked against guys with online dating. And really I would rather meet someone in person anyways. And also I have an ever decreasing social circle where it's pretty much down to 3 people now myself included. Everyone else is gone. Once they get the girl, get her pregnant then adios, nice knowing you for the past 20 years. Oh yeah, I'm also a virgin too and I'm 37 just to add some more complications into the mix. So if you were me what would you do aside from suicide or locking myself into some cabin in the forest. Anyone have any ideas how someone like me can actually meet someone. So far the pub is the only place I have been somewhat successful.
Green Light Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I would consider myself to be a misanthrope as well and it's a struggle. Actually it's a bit hypocritical of us because on the the one hand we don't like being around people all that much but here we are desiring a "special" person. I'm also in the same boat friends-wise. Once they get hitched they are for the most part outta-here! I'm not a virgin but I do sympathize with you on that. I think the best policy there is just not to bring it up with women. Also I think the best thing that people like us can do is to find female misanthropes. Not easy to do but they are out there.
Author Geiss Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 No I wouldn't bring that up with women. That's why I had another thread about wondering if the chance came if I can pretend that I know what I'm doing. Which I think I can do. I don't think I necessarily need to be with a women that is the same type of personality as me. I read introverts and extraverts can compliment each other pretty well. I guess that might be opposites. They can try to help you break out of your shell and you can give them some introspect. It's just a matter of trying to understand each other. So I'm unsure if meeting another misanthropic introvert is actually the way to go. And I have no idea where to go to meet one of those. The library maybe in the back corner where the lights are out. Reading some kind of book like Catcher in the Rye. I guess the library could potentially be a place. Pretend you are reading a book and checking out other bookworms. Just make sure that you don't pick up the Kama Sutra.
Necris Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I would consider myself to be a misanthrope as well and it's a struggle. Actually it's a bit hypocritical of us because on the the one hand we don't like being around people all that much but here we are desiring a "special" person. I'm also in the same boat friends-wise. Once they get hitched they are for the most part outta-here! I'm not a virgin but I do sympathize with you on that. I think the best policy there is just not to bring it up with women. Also I think the best thing that people like us can do is to find female misanthropes. Not easy to do but they are out there. Isn't misanthropy the hatred and/or distrust of humans? If you are just shy perhaps a better word would be more appropiate.
ChessPieceFace Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I don't know, OP, but if it makes you feel better, I could have made that post and every part would have been true of me except I don't dance. Same age and collapsing friend and family structure and everything. Right now I don't try cause I'm overweight and broke. If I got in shape and had money... I don't know, honestly I'm more interested in trying to rebuild some kind of circle of friends that share similar activities. I have friends but they have families now and absolutely no time to spend. Other friends have turned out to be liars and worse. You've got to have some kind of interests you could cultivate and share with others to get a friend structure going at least. I plan to do that when I am able. I've met some cute gamer girls in the past... unfortunately they were all in their early 20's... not that I would mind that but it seems "creepy." I guess it's only "creepy" unless you are successful with money, right? Hypocrites. I doubt I would want the family responsibilities my friends have. OTOH sitting alone every Friday and Saturday night playing video games by myself is no way to live at 37.
CudLRoo Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 In my late teens/early 20s I used to be a massive misanthrope and it didn't get me anywhere. I eventually ended up having a nervous breakdown aged 21, which seemed the worst thing at the time but eventually proved to be the best. Somehow after that ruination, I began to notice the small things, the sparrows in my garden, the way sunlight hits the snow, pointless things yet entirely important, oft-overlooked ones. I learnt to love life/humanity/whatever again, and I instantaneously started to appear differently to people, I became more attractive. It all happens when you start to LOVE things (btw, aware of irony re: my current thread, scheisse happens)
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