confused311 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Okay. I have been with my fiance for right at a year and our wedding is less than a month away. I am having trust issues and bedroom issues ( everything works fine). I will give you a little back drop and then ask my questions. Me: I was married once before for 7 years and my X wife left me for daddy warbucks. Turns out she was having an affair for a while with him. I have only dated one other woman after my X and before my Fiance. Her: She was married once before as well for 8 years and had told me the marriage just fell apart and they where better off as friends. She told me she date two guys since her divorce. One serious one not so much. We both have a child from our previous marriages. Mine lives with her mother hers splits time. Okay so like I said we have been together for a year. 5 months ago we shared our fantasies with each other ( she had told me that she had never shared hers with anyone and she loved that she felt so open with me and could share these things with me) and I in turn although I did not feel comfortable doing it made hers happen with in a couple weeks of her sharing. She kept on about how it was wonderful how she could be herself and open up for the first time in her life. She also stated over and over how she has NEVER told anyone this fantasy!! So like I said I did it for her and She loved it and told me it was the best sexual experince of her life. At this point in our relationship our sex life is FANTASTIC!!!! About 4 months ago ( at this point we are living together) I was doing something on her old cell phone for her and I came across text messaged from her past two relationships. Her last relationship which by her own accounted was not so serious I read through the text messages and I was shocked. Everything she told me from so happy that she could finally open up and be herself to her fantasy in which I was told I was the only one she had every shared it with. Not only did she share it with him, they did it! Obviously I was hurt and pissed off. I addressed these things with her and although I felt horrible for going through the text the fact that she lied to me has been hard to overcome, but I have tried to put that behind me. I also found out that she started talking and seeing her serious bf before she was divorced or even seperated. This obviously distrubs me as well knowing that I was cheated on. I have addressed the text about the fantasy and the openess and made hints and told her that I dont want us to be like her last marriage and I always want to be open and share everything. I also said the past is the past and lets worry about our future together. Fast forward till two months ago. She had still not made an effort to fullfill my fantasy and our love life had taken a toll because of all the discussions about the lies and her past. I broke down and opened my heart up to her and asked her to try a little harder. She keeps giving me excuses and seems to be withdrawn from our sensual side. She actually called out her X's name one night when she was drunk and we where making love. I am trying to take a breath and realize I should not be scared, but the lack of effort on her behalf and the the fact our sex life is suffering confuses me.. Please help.. I dont know if I should continue to bring it up or just ignore it. What else can I do...
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