bollixology Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Honestly feel like **** today and for the last few days if I am being truthful, started dreaming of her again Tuesday night for the first time in weeks and since then she has crawled right back into my mind and is everything that i think of and and i do mean everything my mind just wont quit and give me a break its like I am at day one again!!! Have been strict NC for 5 and a halve weeks and honestly the urge is getting stronger as I type!!!!! I know its the worst thing I can do as it will only hurt me and me alone but its honestly like I am a crack head right now and my phone is my pipe all I have to do is dial to light the rock!!!!!!!!! Honestly I had been doing ok and felt that I was feeling some of the old independent guy that I was prior to this whole train wreck but right now I feel like it is two steps forward and five back!!!! I have been through breakups but nothing like this i honestly feel like i am just regressing and becoming depressed again!!!! Is this normal please someone tell me have any of you felt like you were going backwards and not forwards???????
Sososad Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Totally normal it's a bad run your having .. U need to put the phone down .. Go the gym/run or maybe cinema Plan a few things to do over the next few days To keep busy.. Contacting will set u back so much Please don't do it.. I'm living proof last week sent me waaaaay back!! 1
lostindreams Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 i am in the same boat and the GYM WORKS WONDERS. i dont even know what it is. the gym should have a sign on it saying "get over your breakup here!" focus on improving YOU. realize you came into this world without her, spent many years without her, and focus on being the best YOU you can be!! it will get better, they say... 3
Author bollixology Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Thanks to both of ye i needed that just felt that i was going a bit nuts in myself and i was the only one!!! Just went for a walk and got my head some bit clear,going to hit the weights now and and keep the clarity if i can its just been tough the last few days for some reason and i just cant understand why and what has triggered it in me!!!
cavalier99 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Dude your only 5 days NC. That is nothing. Give it some time. I thought i was going to die and was bat sh*t insane 1st month. It gets better. Just cry as much as possible then stop. And repeat. Really Feel the pain. Get it all out. The sooner the better. Sounds like your doing great! Cav 1
Author bollixology Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 sadly its 5.5 weeks cav not 5days, but you are right just need to go with the feelings and let them develop and evolve..... Just felt like the last few days I was going backwards but this morning I feel a bit better still thinking of her but feeling like I am at ease with it rather than it eating me from the inside out if you get me... Think I just needed to get it out rather than keep it bottled up inside!! thanks again for the support!
Survivor12 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Be aware that the 5 stages of grief are not linear and concrete. It is not unusual to pop back and forth between them. Denial/Isolation Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Think of them like chapters in a text book. In order to past the final "test", your subconscious mind will continue to review each of them, each time absorbing a little more until they are "mastered". Unfortunately, in this case, it's not a "test" you can cram for. It takes time. Hang in there. 2
cavalier99 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 sadly its 5.5 weeks cav not 5days, but you are right just need to go with the feelings and let them develop and evolve..... Just felt like the last few days I was going backwards but this morning I feel a bit better still thinking of her but feeling like I am at ease with it rather than it eating me from the inside out if you get me... Think I just needed to get it out rather than keep it bottled up inside!! thanks again for the support! Ooop. Though 5 days. Anyway i had a melt down at 6 weeks (did a thread on it). I thought i was doing great then i broke down. It seem like sometimes we are doing ok. Then all of the sudden all the effort to keep it together catches up with us and we cry and mourn more. Every time this happened i felt better and it was a step forward. Its like we are getting all the hurt out, but it doesn't come out all at once. We puke it out once we cant take it anymore. 1
purplereigncb Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Be aware that the 5 stages of grief are not linear and concrete. It is not unusual to pop back and forth between them. Denial/Isolation Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Think of them like chapters in a text book. In order to past the final "test", your subconscious mind will continue to review each of them, each time absorbing a little more until they are "mastered". Unfortunately, in this case, it's not a "test" you can cram for. It takes time. Hang in there. I jump all over them. One day im stuck on one, then the next on another. mostly the one I stick to is bargaining.
Discarded2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Ooop. Though 5 days. Anyway i had a melt down at 6 weeks (did a thread on it). I thought i was doing great then i broke down. It seem like sometimes we are doing ok. Then all of the sudden all the effort to keep it together catches up with us and we cry and mourn more. Every time this happened i felt better and it was a step forward. Its like we are getting all the hurt out, but it doesn't come out all at once. We puke it out once we cant take it anymore. Do you think it's the harsh way you was dumped? I was everything to nothing It a hard pill to swallow
cavalier99 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 (edited) Do you think it's the harsh way you was dumped? I was everything to nothing It a hard pill to swallow Hmmm. I think it is normal the keep on purging this stuff until it is gone. As far as my dumping being harsh. I don't know, it was actually very well telegraphed that there was this new guy sniffing around, she had doubts about us ecetera The harsh part was me hanging around a month to see her get more distant, him getting closer, followed up by some ugly lies on her part. I don't think that my BU at the end of the day was any harsher than most. Just my RS was 8 years and it is a big change having that person in you life every day to pure NC. The hardest part for me now to get over was my loss of dignity this month and during the BU more than the loss of the RS. But even this is going away at 5 months nc. Im WELL on my way to walking off this kick in the ball sack! NC is the best way to get over your BU. Edited March 2, 2013 by cavalier99
Discarded2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Hmmm. I think it is normal the keep on purging this stuff until it is gone. As far as my dumping being harsh. I don't know, it was actually very well telegraphed that there was this new guy sniffing around, she had doubts about us ecetera The harsh part was me hanging around a month to see her get more distant, him getting closer, followed up by some ugly lies on her part. I don't think that my BU at the end of the day was any harsher than most. Just my RS was 8 years and it is a big change having that person in you life every day to pure NC. The hardest part for me now to get over was my loss of dignity this month and during the BU more than the loss of the RS. But even this is going away at 5 months nc. Im WELL on my way to walking off this kick in the ball sack! NC is the best way to get over your BU. As far as I know I was dumped for a 'job' But it is what it is. Just not easy to get the fake feelings and words out of your head. You know they was fake deep down, yet something holds you on still slightly Maybe it's just ego/validation that you wanted it to mean something. When really it was a fantasy
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