ThaWholigan Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I recall you asking me about this at some point 49. I said then if she's legit then continue, but it's possible someone is pretending to be her and some people are lame enough to do that. Anyway, my point is that you need to have more belief in yourself in general and not put up with flaky sh*t. Try a different approach with women, you have nothing to lose.
Anela Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 That hanging out with me is a burden, rather than something they actually want to do. I've felt that way before. Turns out there are people in the world who actually like me. ♥ If you're supposed to be romantically involved (or getting there) then I would be suspicious of her not getting on a webcam to talk to you. I don't like how I look on camera, but it does sound very odd.
somedude81 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 You mean like with the cashier at the grocery store or the bank teller? Yeah, pretty much. That's actually worse than what I was asking. With a mentality like that I can definitely understand why you do poorly with women. It's also something that you need to fix if you want to have any hope in dating somebody. I would strongly recommend getting therapy.
Anela Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I've felt that way before. Turns out there are people in the world who actually like me. ♥ If you're supposed to be romantically involved (or getting there) then I would be suspicious of her not getting on a webcam to talk to you. I don't like how I look on camera, but it does sound very odd. (the whole situation, I mean.)
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 I've felt that way before. Turns out there are people in the world who actually like me. ♥ If you're supposed to be romantically involved (or getting there) then I would be suspicious of her not getting on a webcam to talk to you. I don't like how I look on camera, but it does sound very odd. It's weird because she wanted me to talk to her via an app on her phone that lets you call someone without using long distance. I don't have a smart phone or a phone with internet access so obviously that was out of the question. The webcam was a good idea. Or so I thought.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 That's actually worse than what I was asking. With a mentality like that I can definitely understand why you do poorly with women. It's also something that you need to fix if you want to have any hope in dating somebody. I would strongly recommend getting therapy. It's not something I'm imagining.
somedude81 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 It's not something I'm imagining. So you believe that no woman wants to talk to you and they feel that any conversation with you would be wasting their time?
Bristolius Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 The tone of your posts always seems emotionally flat to me. Do you know what a flat affect is? That's how I imagine you in real life. Am I wrong?
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 So you believe that no woman wants to talk to you and they feel that any conversation with you would be wasting their time? Do I feel that "no woman" wants to talk to me? Not necessarily. I think it's more like "very, very few". I don't think it's any coincidence that women talk to some of my friends (even friends of mine they aren't interested in sexually) in a much more open and warm manor than I've ever experienced.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 The tone of your posts always seems emotionally flat to me. Do you know what a flat affect is? That's how I imagine you in real life. Am I wrong? Give an example or describe it more to me. Please.
Bristolius Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Give an example or describe it more to me. Please. ....Many people who display flat affect feel dampened emotions. This may be the result of a decrease in feeling of pleasure, or an overall feeling of removal from the world. People who display fewer emotions may feel like they are retreating into their own minds or feel general apathy towards the world, often as a result of another mental condition. Pertinent quote from this definiton The point I'm trying to make is if people experience you in RL the way I experience you through your writing, then it will be hard for them to connect with you.
ChessPieceFace Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 If I went out and talked to some girl in the library or at the coffee shop I'd be at the same place in a week anyway. "And that... is why you fail."
Lonely Ronin Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 The point I'm trying to make is if people experience you in RL the way I experience you through your writing, then it will be hard for them to connect with you. This is a really valid point. I have stopped dating women for this reason, and I'm sure women have stopped. or never dated a guy because of it as well.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 ....Many people who display flat affect feel dampened emotions. This may be the result of a decrease in feeling of pleasure, or an overall feeling of removal from the world. People who display fewer emotions may feel like they are retreating into their own minds or feel general apathy towards the world, often as a result of another mental condition. Pertinent quote from this definiton The point I'm trying to make is if people experience you in RL the way I experience you through your writing, then it will be hard for them to connect with you. Interesting. I'll have to ask people I know in real life if that's how I come off to people. I honestly don't know how I look or come off to others...
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 So I thought I'd provide an update. I still talk to her, but still not via webcam only on IM. And I haven't chatted with her for over a week, she just hasn't been online. In light of the post about online scammers I'm kind of suspicious that she might be fake (or a man impersonating a woman). I've googled her, and from what I can tell her story checks out. She does seem to know the area too (specific roads, specific places, etc.). So either she's put a lot of work into scamming, or she's genuine. I don't know...
mortensorchid Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I would be leary of this situation. It all sounds odd from the beginning. Are you sure you want to get involved in this? I'd just be like "forget it" based on what you have said.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I would be leary of this situation. It all sounds odd from the beginning. Are you sure you want to get involved in this? I'd just be like "forget it" based on what you have said. I could (or should) say "forget it". But, what's the cost of continuing to talk to her? Just my time, but the small increments we're talking about (about an hour per week or less) makes the costs pretty low. It's not like there are other women I could be talking to, because let's be honest most women online and offline ignore me or are annoyed by me. I'm not going to meet her or send her money or any of that nonsense.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 So, she was online for the first time in a couple of weeks. The last time I spoke to her she said she was going to buy a webcam (so we could chat). After chatting for a few minutes I asked her about it. She said she bought the webcam and had it installed and everything. I then asked her if she wanted to chat for a bit on the webcam and she immediately logged off. Sigh, I assume that means she's not interested in talking...
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 is it even a 'she'? I hope so. One can never be sure though...
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 I wouldn't count on it. man why are you doing this to yourself? you may be like a guy version of a girl I wanted to **** awhile back. cute face, not a bad body but slightly overweight, but nowhere near what i'd call fat. she told me she was fat and told me again she was fat and told me again. enough was enough after the tenth time and I ended it. she wasn't fat but man she was negative about herself. I'm in shape. Think of me as a muscular version of Walt White from Breaking Bad. I'm just not very good at getting dates and talking to women...
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 Just an update. I talked to her via IM today. She tells me she wants to talk via webcam when she gets off work, says she'll talk in two hours. That was 8:30 a.m. Here we are at 1 p.m. and nothing. Total bs, and I fall for it each and every time...
CryForNoOne Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Just an update. I talked to her via IM today. She tells me she wants to talk via webcam when she gets off work, says she'll talk in two hours. That was 8:30 a.m. Here we are at 1 p.m. and nothing. Total bs, and I fall for it each and every time... I didn't even bother reading the thread. I just read your first post and the last. It's a dude... BTW I like your original post. Very candid and honest...
pteromom Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Like honestly, what the hell is wrong with me that so many women (of all kinds of backgrounds and from different locations) seem to want to avoid a face to face meeting with me? Nothing is wrong with you. There are MANY reasons that have nothing to do with you... maybe they are already in a relationship; or are coming out of a bad relationship; or are cripplingly shy; or are insecure and feel you wouldn't like them; or are very busy and don't really want a relationship or to date. Assume it is THEM, not you. And keep moving forward.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 I didn't even bother reading the thread. I just read your first post and the last. It's a dude... BTW I like your original post. Very candid and honest... I guess you're right. I guess I fell for it by the way "she" knew stuff from around here and the person's name "she's" using is a real person. So I thought maybe she was legit...
pteromom Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I guess you're right. I guess I fell for it by the way "she" knew stuff from around here and the person's name "she's" using is a real person. So I thought maybe she was legit... Maybe she is, but maybe she doesn't look like her picture and she is scared of you seeing her. Or maybe she is married. Who knows? It's not necessarily a guy.
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