francis Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Hello everyone, To cut a long story short: I am 31, he is 34. He has never been married, no kids, no significant relationship that he discussed with me. It was an intense, 3 month 'relationship' - we had a great connection, really hit it off. He made it quite clear that he was very insecure, jealous and had issues with commitment (I am a skeptic when it comes to commitment-phobia but this guy had all the classic traits) He basically created arguments to sabotage the relationship, wouldn't veer away from his tight schedule, was controlling, always late, was adamant he just wanted to 'see how the relationship went' - and was always hot and cold. When he was hot, the situation was perfect, he knew all the right things to say, was generous and we had good times together. When they were cold, he would be ready to throw the relationship away immediately at the slightest sign of a disagreement or something that didn't go his way. We broke up a few times during the three months, based on his insecurities and cold behaviour, and we broke up finally three weeks ago. Since then, he wrote me an email saying that he felt 'lost' during the time we were together, felt that he didn't give me the love that I showed him and that he was terrified of being along but even more scared of making me sad. He offered to drop my stuff off at my house (2 1/2 hours drive away). I just replied that I didn't need that stuff (nothing important to return) and that I wished him well. Four days later he emailed again about a bracelet and asked me what he should do with it. I told him that is wasn't important. He text me last Sunday days later about my bracelet again and asked how I was. I told him that I had broken my ankle and that my bracelet wasn't important. I know, my mistake. Each day since Sunday this week, he has text me asking about my ankle, until Wednesday when I couldn't take it any longer and basically said that my ankle was fine and then asked him what he wanted, i.e. why was he texting me? He replied that he wanted to know how my ankle was and that is all. I told him that I was sorry but I couldn't do the 'friends thing', that is hurt to hear from him and that it wasn't fair on my feelings to keep texting me. It is Friday now and I haven't heard from him since. He didn't acknowledge the last text I sent him. It feels so good to have taken control of the situation and to not be waiting now to hear from him. It is a LOT easier to move on knowing he is not going to text and actually not hearing from him. There is no way that I would text him, I have no motivation to, I just wanted to share this as a way of dealing with it really and moving on.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I think this post of yours is all the support and motivation you need. Whenever you miss him reread what you wrote. It starts out with this: It was an intense, 3 month 'relationship' - we had a great connection, really hit it off but then you immediately (and I mean immediately) go on to say this: He made it quite clear that he was very insecure, jealous and had issues with commitment...He basically created arguments to sabotage the relationship, wouldn't veer away from his tight schedule, was controlling, always late, was adamant he just wanted to 'see how the relationship went' - and was always hot and cold....When they were cold, he would be ready to throw the relationship away immediately at the slightest sign of a disagreement or something that didn't go his way....
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