Johnswoman62 Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 Well everyone, I am new to this. I hope you wil be able to give me some true answers........ my name is Cindy, John and I met 2 yrs ago. after 6 mos of dating he asked me to move in with him. we have both had failed marriages and it took me along time to trust, or even love anyone. John has treated me with the utmost respect as have I him. I Love this man so much, but these past 6 mos have gone sour. I have become very insecure because I have been catching him lying to me. I have asked him if he loves me, yes or no. his answer was I care about you, I admire you... He keeps asking me what Love means to me, I told him to honor, cherish, trust and belive in him. except him for who he is and respect his privacy. what I need to know is (from anyone) what does "Unconditional Love" mean? I have several versions, but I need to true, honest to God meaning. John's version is to accept him as he is with no changes, allow him to sleep with whoever he chooses with no reguards to my concern about sexually transmitted disesases... My version is accept him as he is, give him space, Love, honor, cherrish and one on one sexual relations. I am in Nursing School, and I would be devastated if I caught some disease that will ruin everything I have been working so hard to accomplish. Am I being selfish? I am beginning to doubt myself and I don't like that.... I would appreciate any and all answers to the question what is "Unconditional Love"
rogueless Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 Unconditional love does not mean you are a door mat that should allow your partner to walk all over you. Relationships need TWO people who realize no ones perfect and love each other "warts and all." It does not mean taking advantage of your partner because they love you unconditionally. It means respecting your partner. It does not mean you should put up with or give out abusive, rude, or disrespectful behavior with your partner. If someone loves you uncoinditionally, they will not cheat on you or talk down to you. They will lift you up, not confuse you and make you doubt yourself.
moimeme Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 It seems that most people who demand 'unconditional love' are people who want to do horrible things without having someone upset with them about it. Could you actually have asked if you're being selfish? The answer is a resounding NO!!! He is a selfish, useless jerk and your life will improve a thousand percent if you dump him and run for the hills. He doesn't love you. He wants a maid and housekeeper who's so drunk on him she won't mind being used. Don't be that person.
Mr Spock Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 He sounds like a narcissist. Look it up on google....
CurlyIam Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 Think how your life would be without worrying for your health. Without you doing things for him. Without you feeling guilty for wanting more. Without the "selfish" tag on you back if you ask to be respected. No loving man puts his woman through this. Unconditional love exists in a world with no sexual diseases! Don't bother looking up for definitions for it. It is a lovely concept writers talk about which does not exist but in a few extrodinary situations, where both partners involved are so altruists, that they do not include any feeling of property in their love, of owning the other person in any way, because there is no need to. Because trust and devotion are so deep and profound and because they cherish and praise the very essence of their partner which is to be let free! Do you see a pattern here? Me neither, so take the girls' advice and move on! He's not only not respecting you but taking you for a fool also!
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