ASG Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 ok, so....he has deleted that picture. The others he uploaded are there, but the one of the 2 girls is gone. I find this a little weirder than just having the picture of them on there.. Thoughts...? go talk to him!
Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Leigh... I'd die if that happened to me . I had to have a serious talk to him after this happened. I do not advise the OP has a talk to her boyfriend about it YET; not unless he actually acts suspisciously, for instance: covering his phone when he texts, suddenly getting a lot of texts from a girl who is his "new friend", the same girl who ALWAYS comments and likes his facebook posts... Two random girls that accompanied his female friend and him to dinner? Not enough for me to have any talk with my boyfriend. I would, howver, ask: so, who were thoe girls, friend of your friend I take it? Between you and me: my boyfriend ALWAYS does a playfull smile andjokes about when I ask about his female company.. He KNOWS I will always be curious about what girls he talks to and hangs out with. He just smiles or laughs, and is like " Leigh haha, they are just a friend of a friend", or whatever else they are... Basically: my boyfriend has an understanding that I WANT to know about every girl he talks to and hangs out with. I want to know his patterns of behaviour regarding females. He just fills me in brifely if he spends time at a music festival, or at a live music show, for instance.... An example of what makes me comfortable is: when my bf was at concert, he hung out with an older women and her friends. After the concert, he rung me. Not to tell me about the women, but he DID tell me qiuckly that " Leigh, the concert was great, I have been hanging around this older women and her friends, nothing to worry about babe but I wanted you to know" Sometimes he forgets to mention if he is... at a venue and he happens to chat to a girl or hang out with one, but he normally remembers to tell me. In some situations he worries I will get upset over nothing. It is up to us to ensure our boyfriends they CAN tell us things, because we will not be crazy jealous. A healthy dose of jealously is essential, I think, and many relationship expert think, though! I want my partner to care if I hang out with a really hot guy; I like that he cares. He is not crazy jealous, but he does have a big interest when I am with a guy, sometimes getting a little annoyed but never anything annoying. I recommend the OP that jealously is a sign she cares about him, but to just tone it down. I think he might be fine with her admitting she had a little, healthy dose of jealously, because she cares about him, and does not want to get hurt. But no crazy jealous sh*t.
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 go talk to him! why? is it that bad?
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 I guess I can't. My friend can't see it either though.
melodymatters Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I'm with MJwashere,: after nine months, I've NEVER had a bf that A) I couldn't ask anything and or B) I would have no idea who he was with that night. Don't be "Too cool". ASK Just ask....
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Ok, but what I'm really wondering about is that he uploaded these pics late last night and I saw them when I woke up this morning. By around 8am ish, the one picture was deleted.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I'm with MJwashere,: after nine months, I've NEVER had a bf that A) I couldn't ask anything and or B) I would have no idea who he was with that night. Don't be "Too cool". ASK Just ask.... I am with you here. I can't imagine being with someone for 9 months and not being close enough to talk all the time and know each others whereabouts.
Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I am with you here. I can't imagine being with someone for 9 months and not being close enough to talk all the time and know each others whereabouts. I third you here. I could not be in a relationship where I did not know where my partner was. aww that made me sad! Seriously..... I pick my boyfriend up EVERY night he has out with his friends, we both look so forward to hugging in bed afterwards... I actually feel really sad, to think of guy I love not calling me for a night, and having no idea where he is, or what he is doing.... ............................... That said, I never call or text all night, but I do tend to always know what my own partner is doing at least....
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 I third you here. I could not be in a relationship where I did not know where my partner was. aww that made me sad! Seriously..... I pick my boyfriend up EVERY night he has out with his friends, we both look so forward to hugging in bed afterwards... I actually feel really sad, to think of guy I love not calling me for a night, and having no idea where he is, or what he is doing.... ............................... That said, I never call or text all night, but I do tend to always know what my own partner is doing at least.... He'll normally tell me if he's going to be out with friends. Sometimes we don't talk one day, but generally we do. Is that bad? Should I tell him we should talk at least some everyday?
Keenly Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 This level of jealousy is a sign of lack of confidence not only on yourself but the relationship as a whole.
Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 He'll normally tell me if he's going to be out with friends. Sometimes we don't talk one day, but generally we do. Is that bad? Should I tell him we should talk at least some everyday? Not talking for a day is okay, alone. The fact that he added a pictues with girls; then deleted it, without you feeling like you can talk to him about it, is a HUGE problem. You should feel like you can ask him anything. You should be able to ask him without him accusing you of being jealous and clingly. Please ask him! He may have deleted them because he did not want to upset you; or, he may be a lying cheat. The thing is, no one on here knows what your boyfriend is actually like! All can can do is give you geneal advice... About things we know about. We do not know your boyfriend or his character, but we can all say: - it is essential to be able to ASK your boyfriend about these sort of situations
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Not talking for a day is okay, alone. The fact that he added a pictues with girls; then deleted it, without you feeling like you can talk to him about it, is a HUGE problem. You should feel like you can ask him anything. You should be able to ask him without him accusing you of being jealous and clingly. Please ask him! He may have deleted them because he did not want to upset you; or, he may be a lying cheat. The thing is, no one on here knows what your boyfriend is actually like! All can can do is give you geneal advice... About things we know about. We do not know your boyfriend or his character, but we can all say: - it is essential to be able to ASK your boyfriend about these sort of situations I know he's not cheating. And I know I can ask him anything. I just don't want to I guess. I guess I just don't want him thinking I need to know where he is and who he is with and stuff. Like I said, he normally tells me that stuff on his own. The only weird thing is deleting it...
Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I know he's not cheating. And I know I can ask him anything. I just don't want to I guess. I guess I just don't want him thinking I need to know where he is and who he is with and stuff. Like I said, he normally tells me that stuff on his own. The only weird thing is deleting it... So you basically do not want to come across badly to him, like your jealous or insecure? It sounds like your letting you pride get in the way.. you want to maintain a good image to others, even if it leaves you feeling like your missing out on something. Your definately missing out on something in this case; obviously, you do want to know who those girls were. You love your boyfriend and it is very nomal to just have a natural curiosity! There is nothing wrong with wanting to know about who those girls were, especially since he has deleted the pictures! That would make ANY loving girlfriend at least ASK about it. A simply" hey, why did you add and then delet that picture of those two girls? I am not accusing you of doing anything wrong, it just left me wondering" If he gets angry at you over it, or if he think less of you, he has an issue himself.
venusianx13 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 If I were in this position, I'd probably end up asking about it. I'd find it highly strange to have been with my boyfriend for a number of months and know nothing of these girls. I know who my boyfriend's friends are, who he hangs out with, etc., and not because I drill him, but because he's very transparent with me. OP, up until this point, has your boyfriend been very open with you? It seems to me that there may be some other red flags here that have brought you to thinking this way. Correct me if I'm wrong, though. All in all, though, one thing I must point out is that if he were going for infidelity, why would he flash it on facebook?
Recommended Posts