ceres12 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) So we live in a completely different time zone as back home in the states and my mother in law since she figured out how to call over here she calls EVERY DAY EVERY DAMN MINUTE regardless of the time difference, there are times she would call during 3-4 am in the damn morning while we are asleep and my husband has just a few hours left to wake up and go to work. Ofcourse i dont say anything because after all it is his mother but gosh darn it really!?!? Otherwise he would tell me for me to talk to her (pretty much here is the baggae you take care of it, ohh nooo its your mother you deal with it!) Thats another thing he would tell me to email her and talk to her and call um no thats not my responsibility she is not my mother and he definitely does not do that for my mother and go out of his way like i have for his annoying childish mother!) I just need to vent this damn lady pisses me off calling about NOTHING. And then to top it off she calls every damn time too all the time even when my husband is not here and is working!! any advice? I was just thinking about muting the house phone until my husband gets out of work! And then have him to deal with her!!!!!! When is like morning over here is afternoon back where she is etc so time its crazy and she KNOWS this! I hate that she calls everytime my husband isnt here after he pretty much told her what his work schedule is like WTF!! am just frustrated and needed to vent any ideas? so far i am just thinking of the muting the phone thing while my husband is at work and putting it back when he is home, and what frustrates me even more is that we just bought a cheapy phone for the house since we really dont need it nor use it and its really just for little things and it doesnt have caller id so i dont know when she is calling because its a cheapy phone with just the buttons it was like 7 bucks not kidding. any advice on how to avoid your MIL even when you are on ANOTHER DIFFERENT COUNTRY IN FLIPPING ASIA!!!!! Edited March 1, 2013 by ceres12
WhatYouWantToHear Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Sometimes you have to fight impoliteness with impoliteness. Tell her that you do not want her calling at god awful times. Actually, first things first, go find some balls for your husband (you're in Asia so I'm sure you can buy him a pair in some back market somewhere), give them to him and then kick him in them. This should be an issue he takes care of, but it sounds like its going to fall on you if you want anything done.
amaysngrace Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Maybe she's just lonely. I would talk to her even if he is at work. Form a friendship and then you can tell her that her phone calls in the middle of the night aren't appreciated. Try and be nice.
jwi71 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 If she already knows the calls are a nuisance then mute the ringer. When she inquires as to why no one answers -tell her you were asleep when she called and didnt hear the phone - which is technically the truth. In time, she will get the message. Or not. Won't matter - the phone will be on mute and wont bother you. Nww get back to enjoying Japan (I think you said Japan in a previous post). I lived in Yamate for almost two years (Yokohama suburb) and LOVED it. Get out there and meet people and enjoy their culture, their food, their lifestyle. Japan is an AWESOME country.
KathyM Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Turn the ringer off at night or mute it or unplug it. If you're not able to get caller I.D. and screen her calls during the day, then be brief when she calls. Tell her I can't talk now, I'm in the middle of something, so I'll let you go. It would be nice if you would make time on some days to visit with her a little bit over the phone. She wants to keep a connection with her son and she wants to develop a relationship with you as her daughter-in-law, so don't cut her out alltogether, but do set limits by muting the phone at night, and being selective about when to talk to her during the day.
Author ceres12 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 thank you all, here is the thing she will use me to get to my husband. My husband really doesn't pay her any mind or rarely calls because truth is she is suffocating. She has another child whom is a teen and a husband as well. She could care less about my husband's sister or her husband. her life and joy is my husband if she could eliminate everybody all together and just be her and my husband she would be happy. She is very dramatic and my husband kinda knows this so he is the one that kinda puts her in her place from time to time (she babies my grown ass husband all the dam time like a damn baby), funny thing is she kicked her own mother in law out of her house so yea she is a tough cookie i dont buy the bs. We had just gotten married and not even a month after ( we didnt even get a honeymoon) she wanted to move in!!!! she forgot about her husband, daughter and so on!!! anyways, i was doing the friend thing for 7 and a half years am kinda done, doesnt mean i will be mean to her but im done having her use me to get to my husband cause he doesn't call her day and night 24/7. Just the thought she is planning her coming over since we got here frustrates me. The whole time i was there for her she was using me to get to my husband, my husband was far away and he would mostly call me so she would say she was dying to me to get to my husband long story horribly frustrating. anyways, I thought the muting the ringtone at night would be a blessing after a while but am afraid my husband might notice eventually and kinda get mad. After all am not avoiding her talking to my husband i just want us to be able to sleep all night for once. Also in the day time, i have no interest in falling into her pushy and dominant behavior, she can talk directly to my husband, she has no genuine interest in what i feel or what my goals are or anything that i have to say, so the whole friendship thing out the window i say strictly business :/ i dont plain trust her one bit. She beat up her own mother in law and kicked her out so yea. what you think of that? unless i let it go on until my own husband gets anoyed enough to say something?
Recommended Posts