LittleDragon456 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 My ex and I were together almost six months, and we were very madly in love. We broke up a month ago, and I've been having a rough time handling it all. I have depression and he has been my rock the past few months. He was thinking about breaking up because he couldn't handle the distance anymore. I can't give him the real physical touch and affection he craves for. We both crave it, but I am/was patient enough to wait on it until we could be together. When I told him I was letting him go, he said "Maybe we can try this again in a year or two, when you run your life." (I have crazy family problems that limited my time with him) Two weeks after we broke up, he got a job and I've noticed on his facebook that he's already been hanging out with some new girls. He has been talking to me since the breakup, and he has been quiet flirty. Especially this week, he talks like we never even broke up. He's said "I love you" a couple times, I told him the same. We skyped a couple nights ago, and ended up getting naughty. I feel guilty about it to be honest. While we were skyping and I took my top off he said "I can't wait until you're here and I can play with you in person" I am trying my best to handle this well, but deep down, I'm a torn up mess. I live out on a farm with my parents in the middle of nowhere in Florida. I don't get a chance to get out much, and even if I did, I'd have nowhere to go. Plus, I do not have any friends near me. While he lives in Pheonix, has a job, lots of friends, etc. I feel like he's gained so much from the breakup, and I've lost the only person and thing I actually had faith in. I feel so empty, and everything is so pointless to me. He also asked about some guy who has been flirting with me. He said "eh, don't worry about him. You're mine." Why would he tell me that the distance is killing him, yet he tells me he loves me and flirts with me after we break up? I am so lost here. I want to ask him why he's acting like this but I'm scared that would drive him away. I want him back. I want to be with him. I need him. I can only hope I'll be with him by the time I leave this farm next summer. Please give me your opinions and advice. I am totally lost. I always thought if two people really TRULY loved each other, distance would not matter.
lovnlost Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Tough position being secluded....but if this guy is already flirting with others and then contacting you this way, he sounds like a cake eater. He wants to live his life the way he is while having some kind of control over you on the side. Be careful....respect yourself enough to say no to this behavior even though it hurts too. You will respect yourself more in the long run and that is really what is most important. So that you can heal in your way, and be better for the next person that comes around. Now the guy that is flirting with you? Do not give anything to him at all. Your going to be wanting attention as you feel lonely. However you have not healed from this experience yet and it takes time to do so. Allow yourself this time....read something fun, do other things you enjoy. But do not try and date someone else when you already have a whole in your heart. It is bad for you and will make things so much more confusing and painful. Just respectfully decline. You seem like a genuine soul....so be that way to your ex. Tell him you care for him but do not think this current way of things is for you. Believe yourself when you say it too. Hell even practice saying it with conviction before you tell him so you know you sound confident when you say it to him.....but do not let him have any power over you. Some say go no contact....if that isnt possible at the moment....go limited contact but do not convey emotions of love or missing....even if he does. It will simply tear at you more. I know it hurts....believe me I know it hurts....in the worst way. But hold to what you believe in and now more than ever stick to your values, morals, standards and dignity. You will thank yourself later. Hang in there.... 1
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