lbee13 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 So, I've been seeing this guy on and off for six months or so. I say on and off because I didn't really understand why he was acting the way he was acting (well, I kind of do now, but obviously not entirely, or else I wouldn't be here!). We met right after his separation from his wife (at the time I didn't know). I don't think the fact of what had happened had set in, because he was so gung ho about about a relationship with me. After a few months he began to withdrawal and shut me out. I had no idea what was going on, and figured I'd just try seeing other people. The problem is, I have NEVER connected so well with anyone in my entire life. Seriously. The times we are together are honestly magical. So, I've talked to him about where exactly this was going... and he said he's not ready for a relationship (which is fine, and isn't a surprise at all) and he wants to take things slow and enjoy each other's company. He has said that he wants to be with me when he is ready. I honestly want no one but him, and I am content with waiting. Is this stupid of me? Is this a recipe for disaster?
Robman9911 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 It could be a set up for failure but if he is worth the wait then its ok. Secondly I would suggest you dont wait by the phone for him. Live your life, not saying dating other men but let him know you are a girl that has things going on, and if he is ready for a relationship, then you will make time for him, but you wont be crying in a dark room while he is stil figuring things out. Just my suggestion. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 So, I've been seeing this guy on and off for six months or so. I say on and off because I didn't really understand why he was acting the way he was acting (well, I kind of do now, but obviously not entirely, or else I wouldn't be here!). We met right after his separation from his wife (at the time I didn't know). I don't think the fact of what had happened had set in, because he was so gung ho about about a relationship with me. After a few months he began to withdrawal and shut me out. I had no idea what was going on, and figured I'd just try seeing other people. The problem is, I have NEVER connected so well with anyone in my entire life. Seriously. The times we are together are honestly magical. So, I've talked to him about where exactly this was going... and he said he's not ready for a relationship (which is fine, and isn't a surprise at all) and he wants to take things slow and enjoy each other's company. He has said that he wants to be with me when he is ready. I honestly want no one but him, and I am content with waiting. Is this stupid of me? Is this a recipe for disaster? i think a minimum for a year after a serious break up is necessary......i cant tell you if waiting will be a waste of time, i dont believe that you should force anyone into a relationship if they say they arent ready......i think you need to have a really open talk about what your hopes for the two of you are and see if his thoughts match your hopes...if they don't....that's not a good thing......i wish you happiness and i hope it works out,if not with this guy with a guy who really does want to be in a relationship with you....deb
CC12 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I am content with waiting. If you're content with waiting, that's fine, but don't expect all your waiting to pay off. You have to remember that it might not work out after all, and you can't be crushed if that happens. Just prepare yourself. Since he was honest with you, you have the luxury of knowing that he is not ready for a relationship with you. He told you that himself. He essentially said 'no' to being your boyfriend. If you're okay with that, carry on. But I don't think you're really okay with that. Six months isn't a long time to be with someone, but both parties should at least have a good idea of how they want the relationship to progress. If you two don't agree on this very important issue, it's probably time to say goodbye.
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