joystickd Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I just don't have the patience anymore for it. I meet women that give me the hardest time that I like. I meet women I don't like really and they love me. The majority of the time I attract women that are already in relationships or married. It's either I'm too sexual or too nice. Hell I'm black and I can't even get a date from my own race so I date outside of my race. Sh*t when you banging women already taken you are not dating. Honestly I just havent really dated. I'm tired of liking women only to get BS. I'm tired of being the other man. I have spent time and money figuring out what I can do. I am feeling so frustrated and sad. I am just tired of the BS I have had to put up with since I began really being interested in the opposite sex. I've just f**kin had enough. I can only be positive about this for so long. I think I just reached my breaking point. Anybody else really tired of the BS with dating. 2
Soxfaninfl Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) joystickd, I know what you mean. I'm getting frustrated and feel like giving up on finding true love. I've been divorced for three years now, and have done the online dating. I have been on dates with 4 different women since my split. Two relationships lasted three months and one only a month, but I ended them cause it just wasn't working out for some reason or another. I feel like giving up. My counselor told me that it takes time and you have to date sometimes alot of people find the one, but I don't think I have the patients anymore to be honest. I'm tired of having my heart broken and disappointed. I didn't think it would be this hard to find love again. Edited March 1, 2013 by Soxfaninfl
leigh305 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 i hear ya. i'm about ready to throw in the towel, too. the effort is no longer worth the "reward".
Author joystickd Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 The more I get out here and try the more it just drains me. I'm just not happy anymore. Last few weeks i just been losing the motivation to do some things now.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Joystickd. I saw your PM. I'm awful about PMs, sorry. You are a pretty damn good looking guy! I think you need out of that area. If there are only weeds and poor soil, don't keep trying to get a crop out of it. Take a break if you need. You can always go back into dating if and when you want.
Soxfaninfl Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 The more I get out here and try the more it just drains me. I'm just not happy anymore. Last few weeks i just been losing the motivation to do some things now. I hear you man! I think about all the money I have wasted on dating because I'm a generous person, and I've come out with nothing but disappointment. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 The more I get out here and try the more it just drains me. I'm just not happy anymore. Last few weeks i just been losing the motivation to do some things now. Watch depression levels etc. Just be careful not to get too disillusioned with life in general. I know temporary circumstances can feel like they tie us down. You are a young man. You can go just about anywhere you want to and let other responsibilities that are NOT yours fall where they may. Don't settle for a low-quality misery because it's "what you know." 2
tbf Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 When it gets to be more work than enjoyment, take a dating break. You also might want to figure out why emotionally unavailable women are so attractive to you. 3
Author joystickd Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 I hear you man! I think about all the money I have wasted on dating because I'm a generous person, and I've come out with nothing but disappointment. I spent money on dealing with my issues. no worth it anymore just like living no worth it anymore. just tired of the struggle
Soxfaninfl Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I spent money on dealing with my issues. no worth it anymore just like living no worth it anymore. just tired of the struggle Me too. I have spent a lot of money dealing with my divorce and the failures of my relationships since my divorce. I guess I just need to learn to like being alone. I just wish I had not sex drive, but I have the sex drive of an 18 year old. **** I hate this!
pureinheart Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I just don't have the patience anymore for it. I meet women that give me the hardest time that I like. I meet women I don't like really and they love me. The majority of the time I attract women that are already in relationships or married. It's either I'm too sexual or too nice. Hell I'm black and I can't even get a date from my own race so I date outside of my race. Sh*t when you banging women already taken you are not dating. Honestly I just havent really dated. I'm tired of liking women only to get BS. I'm tired of being the other man. I have spent time and money figuring out what I can do. I am feeling so frustrated and sad. I am just tired of the BS I have had to put up with since I began really being interested in the opposite sex. I've just f**kin had enough. I can only be positive about this for so long. I think I just reached my breaking point. Anybody else really tired of the BS with dating. I want what's real and am done with games. I haven't dated in years, but do remember the game. The end game from the first date, second date and so on is to end up in bed. Again, I want what's real.
ChessPieceFace Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Maybe the problems you're having with dating and relationships with other people are related to the reasons I put you on my permanent ignore list. Could be something to think about there buddy, pal, friend.
Author joystickd Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Joystickd. I saw your PM. I'm awful about PMs, sorry. You are a pretty damn good looking guy! I think you need out of that area. If there are only weeds and poor soil, don't keep trying to get a crop out of it. Take a break if you need. You can always go back into dating if and when you want. Trust me if it wasn't for family health issues and helping a sister with college I would have been out of the area. crazy thing about the women around here they choose guys that don't look as good as me but they treat the women like crap. funny how that works.
Author joystickd Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Maybe the problems you're having with dating and relationships with other people are related to the reasons I put you on my permanent ignore list. Could be something to think about there buddy, pal, friend. Not the reason why. Honestly I settled for banging married women because single women gave me so much trouble
Author joystickd Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 When it gets to be more work than enjoyment, take a dating break. You also might want to figure out why emotionally unavailable women are so attractive to you. I spent time and money figuring that out and still haven't figured it out.
Author joystickd Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 How come it just can't be simple? I just get tired of the you have to do this but if you can't do this too much or you do this in some situation but not in others. I just have years of frustration coming up right now. I've stayed positive for years throughout all the rejections and the public humiliations of some of the harshest rejections when I was in high school and college. I was getting the "who the f**k would want to talk to you?" or " get the f**k away from here lame". I stayed positive though some manipulative woman that lied and disrespected me. I took a lot of her sh*t because I liked her. I put myself through a lot with her because I thought no one else would want me. When it was all said and done she lied about me saying I dented her car and stalked her. Then she ruined something I had with another woman and telling me " Well she was ugly and you could have done better.". I think I have done exhausted all the positivity I could now. Then met someone I treated as a FWB because she had a boyfriend. i would just go over to have sex and that's it. she broke up with him and wanted to be with me but I just couldn't all she had to offer was sex. I wanted someone I could really have conversations with. I ended things with her and told her I wanted someone else. It hurt me because she loved me. I've been liking someone else but that's been a struggle because I know she likes me but won't make the move. Feeling alone the FWB start talking about wanting to be with me. I wanted to try again but that was just her way to f**k with me. Finally she just comes out and says " I just wanted to punish you". I have never felt like this in my life. I am just tired of the BS I have to go through for the hope of having someone special. I am sick and tired of it. I really just don't give a f**k about it anymore.
carhill Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 OP, I saw your post about rural dating sucking in another thread and found my own experiences over 53 years in such an area to concur and are largely the reason I've ceased to proactively notice or seek women out. I've also grown rather weary of the married ones, whom you've apparently had issues with as well. Sometimes the winning move is not to play. That said, I'm working on a change of venue for retirement and that change will turn upon a more favorable and healthy social environment. Hopefully, you'll find a path which speaks to you, should you desire companionship in the future. Having been married, I think companionship and love are healthy things, the key word being 'healthy'. Good luck. 1
Luckydad Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Yep. 3 years as of today I decided to take a dating/relationships sabbatical. Initially I planned on a one year "break", but to be perfectly honest, I don't see myself ever wanting to deal with the BS, drama, and wallet-draining activities associated with such a futile, unnecessary endeavor. In the 3 years since I made the choice, I've learned the discipline to be stronger than the instinctive primitive urges that compel most of us otherwise sane individuals to participate in such folly. It also helps that I'm a single parent. 1
Author joystickd Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Feeling better. I guess I had a lot to get off my chest. Just been frustrated the last few years. 3
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Frankly, I think it sounds like your life has you feeling boxed in. Maybe it's time to make a significant change for yourself. 1
tbf Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I spent time and money figuring that out and still haven't figured it out.How were your family dynamics, parents to each other and to the kids? How about the kids to each other? The answers to the above questions would lead into your high school and college dating experiences and from there, lead into adult dating life. If your parent or parents are still alive and you're still communicating with him/her/them, consider their current behaviours and match them up to yours. You might be surprised how many of your defense mechanisms (subconscious mind so you won't be aware of them unless you're actively noticing) come from the past. The areas you want to pinpoint, are the negative ones since many defense mechanisms evoke strong emotional reactions. Wild guess on my part as a possibility but if your mother, father or both weren't emotionally available to you (this might be never meeting their standards or competing for their attention with older sibs), you might be seeking a similar partner since that has become your default comfort zone.
El Brujo Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Maybe instead of throwing in the towel, you need to throw out the rule book.
IndianGuy87 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Hey, at least you've been on few dates which means you actually have women who find you attractive. Try being a brown skinned Indian guy. Now that's a curse I tell you because no one finds us attractive. I have a trouble with brown Indian girls since they see me as a lower caste person and inferior due to where I'm from and how my dad was from a poor background that worked his ass off to get out of India so he can earn the money he deserves. Unfortunately, hardly any Indians got out of the area where my parents are from plus my last name gives off our caste. Even though neither me or my parents believe in caste system nor my religion believes in caste system. I tried to approach girls outside of my own race but none of them find us Indian guys attractive and are willing to give us a chance. There are few exception but only to guys who are really really good looking and tall brown guys, I'm only 5'8 and don't know whether I'm average or ugly since no girl have ever complimented me. I've had girls call me ugly quite a few times like in schools so maybe I'm ugly in eyes of girls. Anyways I have many non-Indian friends like white friends who get all kinds of girls and when I play the same cards as them while approaching women, I just get rejected like no other. I'm a 25 year old virgin who has never kissed a girl yet and for the past 13 years, been desperate to find a gf since age 12. My looks, skin color, and status is the problem though. I've given up now but I still get really lonely. You're at least lucky to be black. Black girls wouldn't consider you inferior like girls of my race would with guys like me plus non-black girls don't find black guys ugly like they find us brown skinned Indian guys to be ugly. You're in a much much better position than me to get a girlfriend! 90% chance I'll stay single my whole life like one of my dad's friends due to having same problems as me. It's real tough to be a brown skinned Indian guy when girls of your own race consider you inferior and other girls find you ugly. You should cheer up and keep on trying!
El Brujo Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Oh come on. If a lazy slob like me can get off his butt and go out and meet women, ANY other man can too.
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