lcug88 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Hi guys, I'm new to this kind of thing, Reason for my post today is because my bf of 3 years recently broke it off with me. By recently I mean less than a week ago. Like most people this came to me as a shock, we have been going through a crappy stage the last couple of months, having silly little disagreements over ridiculous things, but then we would get over them and laugh about it. A couple of weeks ago we had a wedding and he was in the bridal party and while we were dancing he said "I can't wait to so this with you" The weekend it all happened was awesome we spent most of the weekend together, he stayed at my house, had lunch and dinner together on the Sunday and only and hour before he left me he was telling me the things was looking forward to the most when we "get married" and how many kids he wanted. Then we drove home, I got in my car and he said love you call me when u get home. When I got home he had called me three times, I called back and he said "I need to talk to you about us, I think I want out" an just like that he left. During the week he has acted like I was a stranger but has told out friends that I'm a top chick and thinks I'm gorgeous but the "spark" isn't as strong as it use to be.... Someone please explain.... I'm lost and so confused.
destroyed4sho Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 So.you didnt ask any questions about why the sudden change of heart?? How old is this man? It could be anything- hard to tell what it is based on the above. "no/weak spark" could mean he met someone else that he has a stronger spark with now bc its new. Just an assumption....maybe since it is early on try to find out more information. 1
Author lcug88 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 He won't give me anything! I've tried asking him what the sudden change of heart is from but he can't tell me or just doesn't want to, just keeps saying the spark isn't there or isn't as string as it use to be, his 26 this year. I dnt believe there is someone else he hardly has time for himself as he works allll the time. It's hard to know what went wrong because he just won't open up to me.... I dnt want to keep asking because then I will get annoying and hounding him won't get me answers. He says he wants to be friends still and doesn't want to leave with bad vibes. But the way he is acting is so wrong! Especially after three years!!
iouaname Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I'm sorry, hon Sometimes it's really not possible to understand what they are thinking in this scenario. Trying to figure out what went wrong or where you could have fixed things is an impossible burden to put on yourself.
Author lcug88 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Thanks iouaname, it's just so frustrating. I love him with all my heart and was there through so much for him and I just don't get how he could throw it all away like it was nothing.... After everything he said and did for me.
iouaname Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Thanks iouaname, it's just so frustrating. I love him with all my heart and was there through so much for him and I just don't get how he could throw it all away like it was nothing.... After everything he said and did for me. I know how frustrating it is, trust me. But now you have a decision to make. He made his decision, but that doesn't mean he controls the situation. You now have a decision to make
jumbojet123 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I know how frustrating it is, trust me. But now you have a decision to make. He made his decision, but that doesn't mean he controls the situation. You now have a decision to make Exactly. It doesn't matter what his reasons were. The fact is he made a decision. I went through this, too. You can either stay on the ground and question it all, torture yourself endlessly, or you can battle through the pain and move forward. Sometimes it happens, people change, and only they know why. Sometimes they don't even really know why to be honest.
Kenji Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 That's one of the most confounding things in the relationship. We often wonder how and why their feelings could change so quickly. Sometimes, we come to the conclusion that their feelings changed long ago. They were only pretending until the end. Nobody ever tells their partner that they're "falling out of love" until they're actually ready to break it off. My advice? Don't expect to be given a reason. More often than not, they will never give a reason good enough to satisfy us. I agree that you should not hound him. Give him space. He made his decision. If he wants you back, he'll try to get you back. And if that happens, you'll have the power to accept or reject him. But as of now, you still have the power to better yourself from this experience. I wish you nothing but the best.
Author lcug88 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Wow thanks guys, uve really opened my eyes. Guess I need to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else. It's hard to move on though, very hard the days just drag like never before...
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Nice imput guys. I really do not think I could add more to any of this. Sad...I so would like too. May as well as try... I do not know how many people get closure, or the reasons to why people's emotions change. They just do. Life wears and tears on them. Maybe they developed an illness. Maybe it could be this or that...all it is is useless maybes. The trick is, learning not to care as to why or why not. You are stunned, it will one day pass.
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Wow thanks guys, uve really opened my eyes. Guess I need to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else. It's hard to move on though, very hard the days just drag like never before... Start small; your confidence is down, atm. Start small, flirt with some cute chasier boy or someone easy to talk too. Nothing big or bright; rebuild and restructure yourself. It will be a hard war, but you will win. Plus, we will always be glad to help you...
Author lcug88 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Start small; your confidence is down, atm. Start small, flirt with some cute chasier boy or someone easy to talk too. Nothing big or bright; rebuild and restructure yourself. It will be a hard war, but you will win. Plus, we will always be glad to help you... Thanks heaps!!! :-) You just made me laugh for the first time in a week!! 1
iouaname Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Wow thanks guys, uve really opened my eyes. Guess I need to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else. It's hard to move on though, very hard the days just drag like never before... You don't need to jump into anything. Take some time and let yourself feel the emotions. Start small! Don't speak to your ex right now, you're emotionally fragile and no matter what, you don't want him to know that/make it worse! Enlist a friend to be moral support and to be there for you to vent to through the tough times. I know that helped me a lot. Take care of yourself, try to stay a little bit active, and slowly work yourself back up! You'll get through this
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Thanks heaps!!! :-) You just made me laugh for the first time in a week!! I try to be funny, sometimes it doesn't work. Anyway, a cutie like you shouldn't be too worried. You will make it through this, and get the love you deserve.
jumbojet123 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Wow thanks guys, uve really opened my eyes. Guess I need to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else. It's hard to move on though, very hard the days just drag like never before... The days will be hard. I have learned that the worst thing that I have done was to place my happiness in the hands of someone else. It was never intentional at first it developed over the course of time, just one of those risks you take in life, falling for someone, but relying on that one person for your identity and source of happiness is the danger zone. 1
Author lcug88 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Hey guys, So it's been three weeks since my ex left me..... And I'm still suffering. I found out two weeks ago that he went away for the weekend apparently with work mates.... He never wanted to go away with me because he always had work... N then two days after he came back I found out he is talkin to another girl. I confronted him about it and he said his talking to girlfriends... And the reason why hes talkin to them is because his lonely, The mistake I made was that I haven't really ended contact, every couple of days I give in and either MSG or call him. Which as of today I'm stopping. In a MSG he sent over the weekend he said that 1 min I'm a b**ch about it and the next I'm the girl he met and fell for.... I just can't seem to shake that two weeks after he broke up withe me his already talking to someone... It's so hurtful. I want to hold on, but I'm so hurt and still love him so much... He still picks up my calls and said 'I could maybe tempt him with a date' and that ' you never what could happen in the future' I don't get what he is doing?. Help!!
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