Eternal Sunshine Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I have no problem giving my full information to men I meet through OLD. They can run all kinds of background checks if they wish and they won't find anything. I don't really get the need for excessive secrecy. When you have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Life is a lot simpler that way. 1
Green Light Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I have no problem giving my full information to men I meet through OLD. They can run all kinds of background checks if they wish and they won't find anything. I don't really get the need for excessive secrecy. When you have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Life is a lot simpler that way. I sure am glad you didn't hide that picture of that nice cat! I'm a straight guy but I like cats! Can we get the cat's credit score please? I'm sure it's "purrfect"! ;-) 1
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 I acctually tell women my full name when I'm dating online before we meet, so they can check me out to see that I don't have a criminal record. I want them to feel at ease. I have good credit so that would be a problem giving them my SS # lol. You wouldn't need to. Showing a credit score would be enough. I wouldn't ask those things of near strangers. If I were at the point of becoming intimate though, those were things I'd need to see before taking the next step.
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 All of the good men are gay, married, or dead. If you don't get yourself out of that kind of thinking you'll never find anyone. P.S. you should want a man who isn't your dad. Funny. No, I don't think all the good men are gay, married, or dead... but close. Just take a look at this thread... how you guys like to try and pile on. This kind of common meanness is the sort of cr*p lots of women have to put up with everyday. ... Too many of you guys only THINK you are 'good'... but have done absolutely ZERO to prove that you actually ARE.
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 You know it is love when his credit score is a perfect match. I'm not asking for anything your employer or someone selling you a car or a house doesn't do when considering whom to invest with. Notice that pawn shops and people looking for day labor don't have those standards.
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 ... and speaking of investing... I need to remember the people who do love and care for me... and the people I'm blessed to have in my life. My family and my friends... My time is better spent with them.
Woggle Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 When men express similar sentiments about the opposite sex they get piled on as well. It's human nature to get defensive when you feel attacked.
El Brujo Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 The reason you're having problems is you're letting your brain get in the way. LOL! You call that a problem? If the standard is love and respect, it can not be too high. ^That.^ I feel that having good role models (very similar to what the OP describes) was an advantage for my siblings and I Sounds better than the sorry excuse I had for a father. He was a womanizer who cared more about getting his rocks off than being a decent dad and husband.
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 When men express similar sentiments about the opposite sex they get piled on as well. It's human nature to get defensive when you feel attacked. This thread started out giving praise to my father and my parent's marriage. Some of the sensitive fellows on this thread will use ANY excuse whatsoever to pile on... no one has been attacked. It is all in their head, and frankly, a very lame excuse for some of the language they have used towards me here. When things don't work out their way, I imagine they act in much the same way they do here... Lots of BS and bluster they try to pass off as being a 'man'. When in reality, they just are not nice people at all and have just gotten away with poor communication skills for a very long time.
outsidethebox Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 yeah, it's hard to argue with a thread praising your father and your parent's marriage in a dating forum. (?)
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 It is as if every one of these posts is the pot calling the kettle black. You will have to take solice in the posts of the others here who share your opinion that women should have low standards... Since this is a public forum, the best I can do is put you and the others who share your opinion on ignore. You've convinced me that your input is not constructive either. Have a nice day...
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 RedRobin, you're not alone. My parents have a wonderful marriage, no cheating and plenty of love, equal but not the same. My father was and still is my hero (as well as my husband) and I was my father's little princess. It was difficult to find another man like my father, intelligent, charming, great sense of humour, driven, strong, loving, protective of his loved ones, a high code of honour but finally, I found my husband who not only fit the bill but also can be physically described similar to my father, tall, dark and handsome, although facially, they don't look alike. Do yourself a favour and don't settle for less. There are men out there who meet this standard. It just takes awhile to find them. Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes when I observe the marriages of my friends and family... I feel like such an outsider. They were so lucky to find someone when they were younger and could build a life together. I'm really lucky to have them as a family, and that I have such a great example. But it makes me sad too. I lost my chance to have what they have... I'm doing my best to be ok with it but it is hard sometimes. For what it is worth... none of the significant men in my life look anything like my dad or even each other... and are much different in background, sense of humor, and lots of things. My only wish was to find someone who has his sense of commitment and, well, maybe his curiosity about the world and perseverance. It shouldn't be that hard... but it is... because people don't get that people like my parents made the commitment FIRST and 'true love' came second. They got married when they were 19 and 20(!!). They didn't spend their youth racking up numbers, playing the field, and gaining 'experience'. They got their experience in love by demonstrating it. With each other. They took a risk like anyone. It was through their commitment that love had a chance to deepen and grow. I was devoted to my ex-H. But someone told him he didn't have to keep his promises.
xxoo Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 My only wish was to find someone who has his sense of commitment and, well, maybe his curiosity about the world and perseverance. It shouldn't be that hard... but it is... because people don't get that people like my parents made the commitment FIRST and 'true love' came second. They got married when they were 19 and 20(!!). They didn't spend their youth racking up numbers, playing the field, and gaining 'experience'. They got their experience in love by demonstrating it. With each other. I can't speak for your parents, but I can speak for myself. True love came before commitment. Commitment built gradually, and progressed steadily, but wasn't immediate. It was strong by the point we married, yes. It wasn't nearly as strong the first 6 months we were dating. That's something that stands out to me in your posting. It seems like you are expecting commitment too early. If commitment is given too early, it is less meaningful; you don't even know what you are committing to. There needs to be some balance between dating to see if commitment to this person is even desired, and committing in a timely manner.
kaylan Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 How can anyone wonder why they are single when they require a credit report before having sex with someone? Wow, that just sounds crazy...and I perfectly see why good men are dating other women and not OP. Id be really skeeved out and turned off by such a request...nvm walking the other way. 1
Imajerk17 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 RedRobin: Good for you that your parents have such a terrific marriage and that your dad comes across as such a stand-up guy. You have high standards and that is great. BUT you say that the only reason why you can't find someone is due to your high standards. Thing is though, while having high standards is great, you also have to DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT, and others are saying that another possible reason why you can't find someone is due to your own issues. You won't even seem to acknowledge that. I have no idea how you are in real life, but on here you come across as having some serious walls up. I don't think you have any idea how judgmental and angry you come across on here. Your sense of fair play seems a bit off too. You expect a guy to give you a credit report but you feel it's OK to not tell same guy your age? No thank you.
Woggle Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 There is nothing wrong with what you said in this thread which is why I didn't get defensive but in other threads you come across as having a seriously one sided view of modern relationships. There are two sides to this story and you only seem to see one.
Green Light Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 How can anyone wonder why they are single when they require a credit report before having sex with someone? In the future women will get turned on by men who have really BIG.................................................................credit scores (rimshot)
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 Edited: Anyone who wants to respond to the original post is welcome. The rest of you looking to get your pound of flesh will have to go somewhere else and chat amongst yourselves. I'm not interested.
Green Light Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Edited: Anyone who wants to respond to the original post is welcome. The rest of you looking to get your pound of flesh will have to go somewhere else and chat amongst yourselves. I'm not interested. What? I think you are cool, maybe a bit uptight.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I have always felt that your attitude on LS comes across as critical and negative, both directly at me and at many other posters. And I get that, as I went through my own cynical, negative period. But I'm through that now, and I can see with hindsight what a waste of time it was. Sometimes we have to go through those periods - I get it. But you're not going to find a great guy if you're assuming that most of them are manipulative, selfish jerks. There are a lot of great guys out there. They have flaws, as all of us do, and they struggle with the unique problems of modern times as much as women do. But the struggle is easier and more fun with a good guy by your side. 10
Green Light Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 I don't see that future ever happening. There will always be women who expect men to be vetted far beyond themselves through a series of trials and tribulations since they see themselves as inscrutable due to indisputable quality of character. Why do you need Gods when you have such divine beings walking among us? These women tend to be single forever and make up the spinsters of yore. The thing that bothers me about some females now is that EVERYTHING has to be "RIGHT." The media keeps this going. They have to get the right degree, the right job, live in the right place, wear the right clothes, eat the right food, read the right books, date/marry the right men, have the right credit score, drive the right car, get their kids into the right school...there are so many books, magazines, and TV shows devoted to this stuff. Oprah, Dr. OZ, Suze Orman, that other d*uche on the radio doling out financial advice that I can't think of his name right now. It would all be fine but we live in a super-chaotic world. A man in Florida was sitting in his house and got swallowed by a sink hole and died this week! LOOSEN UP people! 1
Author RedRobin Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 How can anyone wonder why they are single when they require a credit report before having sex with someone? Wow, that just sounds crazy...and I perfectly see why good men are dating other women and not OP. Id be really skeeved out and turned off by such a request...nvm walking the other way. You and I have different goals in life. I seem to recall you saying something similar about me requiring STD tests before sleeping with someone. And keep in mind that I'm not hooking up with strangers or near strangers. Asking for a credit score is just another way of verifying that he is who he says he is. I'm happy to offer mine, so it should be no big deal.
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