mortensorchid Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Your mom and dad sound like special people. I wish that more would be so caring or more would be so determined to make things work no matter what rather than just give up, take out their bad feelings or frustrations on others or just be apathetic. And from what it sounds like, you were made into a good person as well.
eleanorhurting Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 your parents sound great RR I love my parents and I am very close to my mom but my dad was always very cold with me. He has hugged me like 5 times total that I can remember in my adult life and he rarely talks to me unless it is to fight with me or to ask me about school and how I am doing in my classes. And I am still messed up about men. So who knows really why these things happen.
Author RedRobin Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 your parents sound great RR I love my parents and I am very close to my mom but my dad was always very cold with me. He has hugged me like 5 times total that I can remember in my adult life and he rarely talks to me unless it is to fight with me or to ask me about school and how I am doing in my classes. And I am still messed up about men. So who knows really why these things happen. You are young. He may soften up as he gets older. Have you ever had a heart-to-heart with him about this? How is he with your mom? Are they still together? My dad wasn't Mr. Romance when my parents were younger. He's become quite gushy over the years.
Anela Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 My Dad is great, and wouldn't want me to settle, either. He's good to my mum, wants to spend time with her, and doesn't understand the men who cheat on their wives. 2
ChessPieceFace Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I'm happy to drive away men who think they can 'demand' anything. So you don't demand respect? Or do you think women are better and more deserving of respect than men? Either way, that's a serious problem. I see no veiled 'threats' in the above if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of ****." Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly..usually on a broomstick. Those are threats. Both trying to justify why a woman is justified in paying back evil with much more evil in return. Which, by the way, precludes any notion of women being angels. Women are angels - really? No, not at all. Far, far from it. People in life who are angels don't repay evil with more evil. Your gender has done plenty to abuse ITSELF. What's that even mean? What relevance does it have? So if someone supposedly abuses themself then you justify abusing them more? You have serious issues with hatred of men. Likely I'm wasting my time though, since it's probably incurable and I doubt you will find happiness. Sometimes I hold out hope where none is warranted, my apologies.
Author RedRobin Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 So you don't demand respect? Or do you think women are better and more deserving of respect than men? Either way, that's a serious problem. No, I don't 'demand' anything. Can't think of much good that comes from that. I've never yelled at or beat either of my dogs either. The language you use is pretty typical of 'he-man' macho types though, who like bossing people around and think that makes them a 'man'. Those are threats. Both trying to justify why a woman is justified in paying back evil with much more evil in return. Which, by the way, precludes any notion of women being angels. Women are angels - really? No, not at all. Far, far from it. People in life who are angels don't repay evil with more evil. Now you just sound silly. You have serious issues with hatred of men. Likely I'm wasting my time though, since it's probably incurable and I doubt you will find happiness. Sometimes I hold out hope where none is warranted, my apologies. No, I have issues with idiots who claim to be 'men' waving their d*cks around with their BS and bluster... making life sh*tty for lots of women and other decent men. Take a look in the mirror. That be you, probably. 2
Lonely Ronin Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 No, I don't 'demand' anything. Can't think of much good that comes from that. I'm sorry, but that's pretty atypical. Most people man or women demand respect.
Author RedRobin Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry, but that's pretty atypical. Most people man or women demand respect. Here is the definition from Merriam Webster 1 a : an act of demanding or asking especially with authority <a demand for obedience> b : something claimed as due <a list of demands> No, I do not make demands. I make a request. I may explain why I feel it is important. They are given the choice to meet my request or not... Depending on the nature of the request, if they choose not to oblige me or have a discussion about it to our mutual satisfaction, then we do not have an agreement... I continue to seek to come to an arrangement we can both enthusiastically support. I do not make demands. They are counterproductive and only produce resentment. Men who make 'demands' show their inability to communicate and negotiate effectively as an adult and partner. I don't equate making 'demands' with manhood or an adult relationship. Edited March 1, 2013 by RedRobin
Yamcha Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 To all the people getting butthurt over the cracks about broomsticks and junk, here's something to consider: It's a ****ing joke. You know, like the "Men: We Know How to Be Friends" or women eating each other's faces skits on Family Guy. Christ, get a sense of humor, people. 2
Lonely Ronin Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Men who make 'demands' show their inability to communicate and negotiate effectively as an adult and partner. I don't equate making 'demands' with manhood or an adult relationship. Jesus, what is wrong with you? I said people not men. And you wonder why people think you hate men......
ChessPieceFace Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 To all the people getting butthurt over the cracks about broomsticks and junk, here's something to consider: It's a ****ing joke. You know, like the "Men: We Know How to Be Friends" or women eating each other's faces skits on Family Guy. Christ, get a sense of humor, people. "Jokes" with the genders reversed would elicit condemnation of the joke teller as a "pig." That's the point. Many women are blind to their own man-hating nature. They think it's normal and correct, all while they have relationship problems and drive people away and wonder "is something wrong with me?" Then you tell them, they get defensive and scream at you, even if you tell them nicely. It doesn't matter if it's a joke or a statement. The reason someone repeats it is what matters. If I make jokes at the expense of women, I can equally hide behind the defense "it's just a joke." But that doesn't matter. What matters is the reason the "joke" was told. What if I tell "jokes" at the expense of blacks? I'd get my post deleted and get warned or banned. But those are just "jokes" too. Except then I'd be labeled and punished for being racist. The "jokes" you tell matter and they say things about who you are. Figure it out.
Author RedRobin Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Jesus, what is wrong with you? I said people not men. And you wonder why people think you hate men...... Well, Jesus isn't here, and I can't speak for him (ha ha)... You do realize I'm a heterosexual, so when I'm talking about partners, you understand it is men I'm talking about, correct? To me, real 'men' are like my dad... He's strong enough to be supportive, caring, and loving with my mom and his family... I have male friends and co-workers who are similarly caring with their wives and partners. the other folks who like to push your weight around and make 'demands'... they are just people who happened to be born with a penis. Not 'men' in my eyes. Yes, I do not like those 'men'...
ChessPieceFace Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 As others have said, "demanding" respect is a demand everyone deserves to have filled. Then once again you belittle men, referencing private parts and dictating who is and isn't a "real man." I know what a real man is. You think a real man has to kneel before women and worship them. It's not only an offensive philosophy, it's one that will preclude your happiness.
Author RedRobin Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 (edited) As others have said, "demanding" respect is a demand everyone deserves to have filled. Then once again you belittle men, referencing private parts and dictating who is and isn't a "real man." I know what a real man is. You think a real man has to kneel before women and worship them. It's not only an offensive philosophy, it's one that will preclude your happiness. My parents are both equally grateful for each other. Something you wouldn't understand and obviously, have never witnessed. Too bad for you. You have gotten quite used to making demands and being a jerk in lots of ways I bet... and hide behind your 'manhood' to avoid learning how to communicate and negotiate. Because that is too hard. And someone told you that you don't have to and that being a man means being 'demanding'. ok. Whatever floats your boat... but remember this. The silence you illicit with your 'demands' may look like agreement TODAY... but don't be surprised when the other person walks when you least expect it because you didn't care to.... Care. Edited March 2, 2013 by RedRobin
lavenderlove Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I think you are very lucky to have such a father. What he is saving you from are all those kind of men who would hurt you. Because you have such a high standard, you naturally don't get blown away by half committed, unreliable shallow guys. The rule is we get what we want, so you will get the kind of guy that amazes you, just keep searching. Have your heart open, and he will come along.
Green Light Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 The rule is we get what we want In my experience life doesn't always work that way. 2
ltjg45 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 As others have said, "demanding" respect is a demand everyone deserves to have filled. Then once again you belittle men, referencing private parts and dictating who is and isn't a "real man." I know what a real man is. You think a real man has to kneel before women and worship them. It's not only an offensive philosophy, it's one that will preclude your happiness. I don't recall RedRobin saying anything of that nature, at least not from this thread. So you must be reading this thread with rose-colored glasses or something.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 ChessPieceFace, you have a big intellect but a small heart
tbf Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 RedRobin, you're not alone. My parents have a wonderful marriage, no cheating and plenty of love, equal but not the same. My father was and still is my hero (as well as my husband) and I was my father's little princess. It was difficult to find another man like my father, intelligent, charming, great sense of humour, driven, strong, loving, protective of his loved ones, a high code of honour but finally, I found my husband who not only fit the bill but also can be physically described similar to my father, tall, dark and handsome, although facially, they don't look alike. Do yourself a favour and don't settle for less. There are men out there who meet this standard. It just takes awhile to find them. 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 If I make jokes at the expense of women, I can equally hide behind the defense "it's just a joke." But that doesn't matter. What matters is the reason the "joke" was told. What if I tell "jokes" at the expense of blacks? I'd get my post deleted and get warned or banned. But those are just "jokes" too. Except then I'd be labeled and punished for being racist. The "jokes" you tell matter and they say things about who you are. Figure it out. But wait … wasn't this joke told to her by her FATHER? What a man-hater he must be, right? 1
ChessPieceFace Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 My parents are both equally grateful for each other. Something you wouldn't understand and obviously, have never witnessed. My parents worshipped each other and were ripped apart by one of them being killed. You know nothing about me. The other stuff you listed is laughable, a bunch of completely wrong things you're projecting onto me. Yet still instructive, since it displays more hatred towards men, which you don't recognize even while inflicting it on others. ChessPieceFace, you have a big intellect but a small heart I had a big heart, unfortunately I live on planet Earth and can see the horrible things humans do, so it's been hardened by necessity. If you had a big heart you'd change your tagline, instead of espousing the notion that women have a free pass to be "witches" when someone wrongs them in any way. Maybe I should make a tagline supporting physical abuse against women "when it's deserved"? That's the same thing. But wait … wasn't this joke told to her by her FATHER? What a man-hater he must be, right? He's setting a bad example if he believes what's implied by the "jokes" he posts. When it comes to behaviors toward men, girls are most affected by their fathers. He's basically telling his daughter it's OK to behave poorly towards men and get a pass. Now she by her own admission has problems in relationships. And instead of listening to criticism, whether or not she agrees with it, she gets hostile and projects. Not a good sign. But also not at all atypical. Western women have been told their whole lives by the media that they are above criticism or judgment. Yamcha - Family Guy is trash. But the supposed "anti black" jokes you listed are actually anti-police, so your argument is fallacy. Blacks are one of the groups that have protected status in the media. Only black people and some other "people of color" can joke about black people. If white people do, they're crucified. White males and Christians are about the only groups that have no protected status in the media, and are attacked on a daily basis. Did you see the movie promos for "Identity Thief"? A woman punching a man in the throat so he chokes and can't breathe, oh what high comedy. What a disgusting world this is.
ja123 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Not that I agree with everything, but I think ChessPiece raises some good points. RR, it does seem as though you have an axe to grind. I love your OP, though. What a wonderful email. What a terrific dad!
Imajerk17 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Not that I agree with everything, but I think ChessPiece raises some good points. RR, it does seem as though you have an axe to grind. I love your OP, though. What a wonderful email. What a terrific dad! I agree. Im picking up a lot of anger in RedRobin's posts too: "well men do this to women so if we want to do x y or z it should be fine". She comes across as a female Bitter Boy. A lot of anger does not make for a woman a great guy would want to get to know.
xxoo Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I agree. Im picking up a lot of anger in RedRobin's posts too: "well men do this to women so if we want to do x y or z it should be fine". She comes across as a female Bitter Boy. A lot of anger does not make for a woman a great guy would want to get to know. I know there are men "out there" who still value love and commitment, but of course they are picky about who they commit to. It does seem that RedRobin has built up some strong walls, and that will turn off a lot of relationship-minded men. 1
StanMusial Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I think you have to earn respect... if someone is a total sack of shet and try to "demand" respect they aren't going to get real respect. As far as OPs post goes, I wonder at times if these types of relationships are even possible in modern society. Things have changed too much and gender roles are so confused. Well meaning people have to put so much energy into untangling the mess that true blue relationships don't get the effort needed to thrive.
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