leigh305 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 so i went out on a few dates with this guy i met online. things seemed to go well; however, after the last one, he made no mention of another date and hugged me goodbye (we've never kissed). a few days went by, and i texted him. he kept the conversation going, and things seemed alright. somehow we got on the topic of hitting on people, and i told him he was the last person i actively pursued, and that he makes me work (he's not very aggressive when it comes to dating). he responded by saying he's a hard one to know and that he's "happy being an island". i replied saying for someone who's so honest, he's hard to read and i have trouble gauging his interest. he responded today saying, "ha yeah. i get stuck in my own little world a lot. i'm just in the mindset of taking everything slow right now." i interpret this as him not being interested, and better i found out sooner than later. i'm not really sure how to respond though, or if i should respond at all. i was thinking of just telling him good luck, etc. any ideas? thanks.
quartz88 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 It sounds to me like he could be someone who isn't completely invested in dating right now, possibly a commitmentphobe, or is dating other people and wants to keep his options open. It's impossible to tell exactly what he meant by that, but "I like to think of myself as an island" is either a line he conjured up to make him sound like an enigmatic mystery man, or he's telling you up front that he distances himself from people and likes to retain his independence. I would continue to observe his actions in his interactions with you. It sounds like this guy could run hot and cold, and if he does the "poof," you can safely assume he's either not in the right mental space for dating and that you might have dodged a bullet. I hate having to be a mind reader, too.
MsSmurf Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 When it comes to dating, both parties need to display interest. In this case you're the only one doing that, so if what you want is a relationship you're probably not going to get that from this guy. I was in this same situation a few months ago and I told that guy that when he figured out he was interested in dating me he was welcome to call and if I was available I'd give him another shot. Until he figured things out I told him not to call me and I haven't called him. Haven't heard from him since and I have no regrets.
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