AverageCat Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) Whenever Im procrastinating I can't help but think about her and wanna text her all the time. Now this is not HEALTHY for me. I.e. Today she had an important interview... We texted back and forth for a bit. Then I took an hr to answer (was doing something). I txt her back and she hasn't txted for 3-4 hrs. I know she finished her interview by now. And I told to txt me when she's done..... Nothing. And I don't wanna study. So I procrastinate........ coming to this forum. How do I solve my procrastination / needy problem? EDIT: I also know her and her ex used to chat for hours every day.... so I know it's not that she's getting 'bothered', she wants the attention... meh Edited February 28, 2013 by AverageCat
TaraMaiden Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Why on earth are you even still in Contact - ?!? Don't you know that No Contact prevents this from happening? You really need to read my signature - ! I can't believe nobody's mentioned NC to you, or why you would deliberately prolong your own agony in this way!! You are not healing at all!
Author AverageCat Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Why on earth are you even still in Contact - ?!? Don't you know that No Contact prevents this from happening? You really need to read my signature - ! I can't believe nobody's mentioned NC to you, or why you would deliberately prolong your own agony in this way!! You are not healing at all! Isnt ur NC guide for EXes as in people who broke up? Confused
TaraMaiden Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Yes And I think you should break up with her. You're in no fit state to be in a relationship. You are way too clingy and dependent on her and this is unfair. You need to develop emotional independence. Because right now, you're coming over as needy, and frankly, you sound like she's your mom, not your GF. Like you can't take a breath without her input. This is stifling and suffocating. Be careful. Otherwise she will make YOU her ex. Are you seeing a therapist? I think you should.
Author AverageCat Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Yes And I think you should break up with her. You're in no fit state to be in a relationship. You are way too clingy and dependent on her and this is unfair. You need to develop emotional independence. Because right now, you're coming over as needy, and frankly, you sound like she's your mom, not your GF. Like you can't take a breath without her input. This is stifling and suffocating. Be careful. Otherwise she will make YOU her ex. Are you seeing a therapist? I think you should. Where do you exactly see this? I just said, I was bored today and I am thinking too much about her, just because I don't wanna do schoolwork. From here to breaking up??? And we contact once in two days maybe and see each other 2-3 x / week. Where do you see the suffocation exactly? And I mean is there a difference between who makes each other an "ex"?
TaraMaiden Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I looked at your thread history. have you looked at it, lately?
TaraMaiden Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 It's nice to think about her but it's better if you have a life outside of her. if you think you may be thinking about her too much - then chances are - you're right. You even say that it's not HEALTHY for you.... How old are you guys, anyway........? 1
Author AverageCat Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 if you think you may be thinking about her too much - then chances are - you're right. You even say that it's not HEALTHY for you.... How old are you guys, anyway........? Lol good catch looking at my thread history . We're in our 20s. She's my first ever gf and probably the 10th person I sleep with. I do have a life outside of her (I'm not gonna brag, but let's say a pretty good life). My problem is right now, that it's so easy to let your mind wonder, rather than focus on studies. It's not so "OMG she hasn't txted". It's more like "**** this **** I don't wanna study right now... I wonder about her... Then I judge myself for thinking about her and it spirals down". So my main problem is maybe that I'm judging myself too harshly. Maybe it's ok to think about your gf, as long as you can move on from that thought and keep yourself focused on your.... **** I HATE STUDIES
TaraMaiden Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 So my main problem is maybe that I'm judging myself too harshly. Maybe it's ok to think about your gf, as long as you can move on from that thought. Could be. That's not a bad point to start from..... Observe HOW you think about her. Are you obsessive? I would ask - does she return the sentiment? or is it more from your side (do you know) than from hers? be cautious about an imbalance of 'devotion'.....
Archgirl Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 First love IS unhealthy/obsession. Why its best to get it out of the way. It's up to you Mr Cat if you think it's going too far of not. So far, I haven't seen you say anything abnormal for a guy who thinks waay too much who is in love for the first time.
StanMusial Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Lol good catch looking at my thread history . We're in our 20s. She's my first ever gf and probably the 10th person I sleep with. I do have a life outside of her (I'm not gonna brag, but let's say a pretty good life). My problem is right now, that it's so easy to let your mind wonder, rather than focus on studies. It's not so "OMG she hasn't txted". It's more like "**** this **** I don't wanna study right now... I wonder about her... Then I judge myself for thinking about her and it spirals down". So my main problem is maybe that I'm judging myself too harshly. Maybe it's ok to think about your gf, as long as you can move on from that thought and keep yourself focused on your.... **** I HATE STUDIES You need to get your mind right. First of all you should be studying. But if you need a study break then find a buddy or something and go shoot hoops or just walk around outside or something. Stay busy.
Author AverageCat Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) Could be. That's not a bad point to start from..... Observe HOW you think about her. Are you obsessive? I would ask - does she return the sentiment? or is it more from your side (do you know) than from hers? be cautious about an imbalance of 'devotion'..... Obsessive? Not sure what that means. I think I am a bit obsessed over her, but again I have never been so close to someone in my entire life, so I'm not sure if this is just normal emotions people get when getting close, or not. Also I make damn sure to never show this side of me... to anyone, not even her. Except this forum Another big dilemma that I have... I think I've "played it cool" all my life with girls and gotten decent success. However I ve read in this forum (and heard from friends) that girls expect contact from a guy at least daily when in a relationship. That got me really confused and trying to up my contact... but when I do, I feel like I am chasing her a bit and it goes into conflict with what has gotten girls attracted to me all these years (which is playing it coo) and I hate it. I am used to girls chasing me :/ Also like I said, my life party wise is better than hers, so I feel like sometimes she just feels insecure about the whole thing and tries to play games to not show her attachment.... Cuz I know for a fact at times she'll just sit at home and not answer me for like an hr... and I know she has nothing to do. MAYBE IM ****ED . Edited March 1, 2013 by AverageCat
Author AverageCat Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 But I think it's mostly school anxiety that builds this **** up. It's the who procrastination thing. If the ugliest girl on earth would text me right now, I would probably get in a 5 hr convo with her just to get my mind off the work I need to do.
gaius Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Masturbate to her. You can think about her without taking up her time and after it's done your mind will naturally wander to something else. At least for a little while. Is that even the root problem though? Seems like you don't like that you're getting less than her last boyfriend which I don't blame you for. Taramaiden might be right, you can't really force that. Either she values you as much or she doesn't.
realisticbound Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Whenever Im procrastinating I can't help but think about her and wanna text her all the time. Now this is not HEALTHY for me. I.e. Today she had an important interview... We texted back and forth for a bit. Then I took an hr to answer (was doing something). I txt her back and she hasn't txted for 3-4 hrs. I know she finished her interview by now. And I told to txt me when she's done..... Nothing. And I don't wanna study. So I procrastinate........ coming to this forum. How do I solve my procrastination / needy problem? EDIT: I also know her and her ex used to chat for hours every day.... so I know it's not that she's getting 'bothered', she wants the attention... meh Sean Garrett ft J Cole - Feel Love - YouTube
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