Treasa Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 What's wrong with him anyway? Too fat, too skinny, unemployed, not enough hair, doesn't know how to talk to you, doesn't like battlestar galactica? Not to derail, but that would be a dealbreaker for me. 1
HotRod1963 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I have honestly tried to be friends with women. I can be just friends with attractive women. I don't catch feelings for women who have nothing to offer me. I may like them & want more but if they're not into me & they are not annoying I can hang with them & just go looking for other women. Problem is EVERY TIME when I become "just friends" with a woman they try to chump me, cock-block me, act crazy by flirting hard with me then going "woah! we are just friends" essentially they don't want to get with me but don't want me getting with anyone else & it blows my fricken mind. Well said, I totally forgot about this piece of the "just friends" male/female relationship that makes it not work.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I have honestly tried to be friends with women. I can be just friends with attractive women. I don't catch feelings for women who have nothing to offer me. I may like them & want more but if they're not into me & they are not annoying I can hang with them & just go looking for other women. Problem is EVERY TIME when I become "just friends" with a woman they try to chump me, cock-block me, act crazy by flirting hard with me then going "woah! we are just friends" essentially they don't want to get with me but don't want me getting with anyone else & it blows my fricken mind. 100% accurate. If I become friends with a girl, 1 of 2 situations happens. Either the one described above or the girl starts to REALLY like me. The problem with that is by that point (generally), she has become one of my really good friends, basically she's friendzoned. It's very hard to un-friendzone a girl for me, no matter how pretty she is (I guess I have a bit of a chick mentality in this regard....if I put a lot into a friendship, I don't want to lose it ).
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 The saga continues: He apologized - multiple times. I finally spoke to let him know that I have absolutely no interest in dating him and he STILL wants to be friends. I think he's a bit of an emotional guy that just over-reacted. He realized it and felt bad about it. With that said, I think you should cut off contact with him too. He's WAY too emotionally invested in you. This will not end well unless he calms down (which is unlikely at this point). 2
Revolver Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Ive always said Guys should just cut off ties with women who friendzone them And move on to women who see them in a romantic/sexual light. Life is far too short 1
phineas Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Nobody has ever been forced to do anything they didn't want to do. I don't have a holding pens for my friends, or my partners. I also don't lock them in closets or stow them away in footlockers. Really, how stupid is it to say a woman who has flat out told you she wasn't interested in you as a romantic partner is "keeping you around"? Big boys know how to walk away when this happens. Men who are capable of acting like men weigh whether they might not get something out of a different kind of dynamic, take that reality seriously, and go from there. What's really mental is sticking around thinking you're going to change someone's mind. If someone you've told you're not interested in having a romantic relationship decides that they'd like to be friends, and you've got no problem with them, it's up to them whether they stick around. That's the real joy of being rational, autonomous agents. We can walk away. Nobody can force us into being "kept around" for a friendship. Tell me, what is your opinion of good looking men who keep women as FWB's telling them he isn't interested in a relationship but knowing full well they are only sleeping with him in hopes of getting him into a relationship? Do you blame the women in that instance & hold the man entirely innocent like you do with the op here? 2
phineas Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Ive always said Guys should just cut off ties with women who friendzone them And move on to women who see them in a romantic/sexual light. Life is far too short Yep. But, One simply cannot just walk away from the friendzone in my experience. Every time i've tried the woman refused to leave me alone & kept texting, calling to "hang out" Telling me she wasn't leading me on when she most certainly was. Kept dropping bread crumbs to make it seem like there was a chance down the road because she KNEW I was into her & because they don't want to loose the validation I provided them. It's like they DEMANDED I be their deluxe orbiter or something. LOL! At that point i tell them to eff-off. But they still come around later down the road & I LOL! OP's guy is clearly mental & yet she still keeps in contact with him knowing he can't control himself. Hence she is just as f'd up in the head as he is. Maybe more because she has better control of herself than him.
phineas Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 He's not doing anything wrong. She's an idiot for sticking around. So yeah I fully blame the woman in your little scenario. You're gonna have to try again... I don't maintain separate sets of standards based on gender. Anyone who pursues someone who has made it clear that they don't want what the pursuer is looking, or asking, for is just stupid. They either have to accept what they're getting (be it a friendship or FWB relationship) or move on. How did you think I would answer such a stupid question... really. *rolls eyes* so you think it's ok for people to take advantage of others? Understood. 1
somedude81 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 In a situation where a guy likes a girl and she friendzoned him, both are at fault if the situation continues. The guy should stop trying to communicate and the girl should stop communicating. One last thing, when strong feelings are involved, it's pretty common for logic to get tossed aside.
phineas Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Clearly you're not following the thread or the logic. You might want to grab another cup of coffee before you reply again, you're definitely firing on all cylinders just yet today. He keeps going back, you genius. Read the friggin thread already! IF someone tells you they're not interested in a relationship with you, and YOU keep going back, then you deserve whatever you get. You're not going to change the person's mind by pretending to acquiesce so it's on you if you get emotionally injured when you try. You seem to be entirely overlooking the fact that this guy is the one that keeps going back so they can "be friends". Wake the hell up. No wonder you've been burned by your supposed female friends... Clearly you are backed into a corner because all you have are insults to respond with. LOL! You very clearly said the person who is being taken advantage of is at fault & you do not blame those who are taking advantage of someone. I can quote it for you if you want but since you posted it like 10 mins. ago I can't imagine how you forgot already. I'm done with you. No longer wasting my time on this forum with people who can only respond with insults & snide remarks. have a lovely day.
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