wiwiwao Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 My ex and I have been "together" for 5 years now. I say "together" because we have never officially been gf/bf. Only our closets friends knows about us, romantically, the rest only knows us as friends. Long story...Since the very beginning, we knew that we didn't have a future together, but we liked each other and enjoyed spending time together. We were also studying at that time, at the same school/study program, and we had a lot in common. One thing lead to another. But his love for me ended pretty early, he went from being in love to only care about me. But he have stayed at my side till now and have treated me good and never been unfaithful or looked at another girl. Mainly because he is a good guy and he really cares for me and he knows how much I love him. He has been careful about not hurting me in anyway during these 5 years. And I'm not an easy person to handle, so he has really put himself out there for me. Since this doesn't lead anywhere, we have tried to break it off many time. I have lost count! But, I always had an excuse to hold onto him and every time he stayed. In 2011 we decided to be friends with benefits, which basically means that we stay the same that we always have, except that we are entitled to look around...He has now gotten completely over me, but I'm still in love with him. I can't forget him for some reason...Last week he said that we should stay friends only and nothing more...he didn't want us to be intimate anymore. It was like thunder stroke me...it was so hard to take..I was heartbroken for several days, and I'm still am... How do I get over him? I do want to get over him. I'm in my late 20's and I wanna find someone to marry and stop wasting time...none of my friends think that we fit each other and my parents disapprove of him.... Recently, I found out that he's been infatuated with a co-worker..he's been checking out her facebook and googling about "infatuated with a co-worker"...I know I shouldn't care about this...he is entitled to it, and besides, she is engaged and they have never spoken to each other since they work in different departements. But I feel like, it is because of her that he "finally" can break free from me...I shouldn't be heartbroken over this...we have been "preparing" this break for ages...but I just can't forget about him...
gravi1 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 The best way I have learned and accepted here is to cut contact and stay clear. When I went into NC, I first did it for the wrong reason,that of getting back at or to try and spite my ex,but didnt' work, she doesnt care, maybe not even noticed that I was NC with her. Now that I understood what it is about with the direction of some of the authors on LS, I would like to advise you to go NC. It is for yourself to comprehend your situation from in and out of the box and understand your feelings and deal with them. The more and longer you are in contact with the person who doesnt share your feelings, the harder it gets to overcome. You become obsessed and go into a state of oblivion. You could tell him that you need to cut contact for a while could work out a time phrame, and be serious about avoiding contact.
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