Crescent_Cat Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Ok, so last week I was wondering why my boyfriend deleted every single text with one of his good friends who's a girl. I confronted him about it, and he tells me it's because he accidentally deleted her number. I didn't believe him, so I took his phone and deleted my own number to see if it would delete all of our texts, well it didn't. So he tells me it was because he was texting his friend about me and how I have a guyfriend he doesn't like, and how he doesn't like that guyfriend and I talk (I actually have a previous post about it). He told me he deleted the messages because he didn't want me to see that he was speaking about me behind my back. I told him that he shouldnt lie about things like that and feel the need to delete such texts. I mean, I've bitched about him to one of my friends and I dont delete the texts... He even brought up how he was pissed off at me for texting with the guyfriend that it was affecting his work, and he just needed advice from a friend. Well guess what guys? He lied about that too. Last night he randomly said to me that he feels really guilty and has something to say to me. It literally came out the blue. All along I find out that the name of his good friend (I'll call her "L") wasn't really her! He pretended it was L all along, but it was actually his coworker from a job he just left, who I'll call "H". Apparently H got his number from his friend and she texted him. He swears there was no flirting and that he couldnt continue going on in the relationship with a lie like that hanging around. I really feel betrayed right now. He lied so much in the beginning and it pisses me off that he didn't just tell the truth in the first place. I would have been less mad if I had known the truth first. Im more mad at the fact that he lied to me. What also makes me mad is that he made me feel really bad for talking with my guyfriend, when that wasnt even the issue of the texts. It was part of his lie. I really am not sure if I can even trust him anymore. Yeah, he ended up just telling me the truth out of the blue. But right now, I just feel like, what if he's still lying or leaving things out from the story? What I am also confused about is where is L's real number and texts? Why is it all gone? I know L, so it's not like he'd been lying about her all along. What would you guys do in this situation?
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 If he's lied so much, for such a long time. I wouldn't trust him. Sure, we all lie. But to willingly, constantly is not right. Actually, it is a redflag. It certainly won't be good for future promises. Who knows if he admitted it all? But he did tell you. I would be cautious. Heck, trust is gone, that isn't good. Do what you believe is best for your future.
imfine Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 "my boyfriend deleted every single text with one of his good friends who's a girl." - Red Flag #1, those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing "he tells me it's because he accidentally deleted her number." - Red Flag #2, lie to cover up being busted "So he tells me it was because he was texting his friend about me and how I have a guyfriend he doesn't like, and how he doesn't like that guyfriend and I talk" - Red flag #3, trying to take the focus off his lies by focusing on an issue about you, even elaborating about how it's affecting his life, aka blameshifting "Last night he randomly said to me that he feels really guilty and has something to say to me. It literally came out the blue. All along I find out that the name of his good friend (I'll call her "L") wasn't really her! He pretended it was L all along, but it was actually his coworker from a job he just left, who I'll call "H". Apparently H got his number from his friend and she texted him. He swears there was no flirting and that he couldnt continue going on in the relationship with a lie like that hanging around." - Red flag #4, He lied about another girl, if it was innocent why lie? "he made me feel really bad for talking with my guyfriend, when that wasnt even the issue of the texts." - Red flag #5, double standard & more blameshifting "What I am also confused about is where is L's real number and texts? Why is it all gone?" Red flag #1 & 6, Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. After he created this mess, he's not fixing it. He's clearly shown a lack of respect & proven himself untrustworthy. He's willing to lie about other girls. Why lie if it's innocent friend stuff? 1
ltjg45 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 He tells a lot of lies. It's hard to trust anyone, male or female, that tells constant lies, regardless if he tells the truth afterwards because, even then, you are wondering if that "truth" is just another lie. Hell, to you, you may think that you will never know the truth and that is quite possible to achieve. I would just end the relationship and move on. Anyone who respects you wouldn't hide this kind of stuff from you.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Ugh :sick: Please dump this loser and him go and lie to someone else.
Ami1uwant Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Wyhy do you feel you should have the right to see his text messages? Are you controlling? Jealous?
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Wyhy do you feel you should have the right to see his text messages? Are you controlling? Jealous? Its a good thing she did. So.
Author Crescent_Cat Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Wyhy do you feel you should have the right to see his text messages? Are you controlling? Jealous? He actually goes through my phone, especially the texts I have with my guyfriend. I only noticed when he was going through his texts while I was laying with him. I noticed that L's contact name was simply just her name and didn't have emojis to go with it (her contact name was originally what she put herself as when she was messing with his phone one day and used iphone emojis as her name).
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Don't worry about it. Sure, you normally don't. But it was a good thing this time.. Dump him. He's a liar and manipulator. 1
venusianx13 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Sounds an awful lot like the kind of stuff my ex used to do. Fact is, that I even felt the need to "snoop" was a bad sign. And when I'd snoop, I'd always find questionable things, which he'd lie and gas light me about. Seriously, please reconsider this relationship.
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