promises Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 is it even possible? I suppose there is always that strand of hope that love will happen, but, right now, honestly I am not sure it exists. I am doing really well. But, love in a partner is not something I think I believe in any more. It's sad, but, I really think it's a farce. Not even real. 1
To be or not to be Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) I'm in the same boat. I'm attempting online dating since I don't have the desire to sit at a bar. I met someone whom I thought was a great match for me. It went well the first week and then it died off. I recently posted about it needing some advice. I was used to the attention, charm and woo'ing of the mm and I felt I wasn't getting enough with this single guy. I told him that I didn't think he was showing much interest as he was putting no effort. He called me "needy"! I stopped talking to him but... I can't help but wonder if dating a mm increased my expectations of the single man? We'll find love again Promises, we just need to keep looking or let it find us. I still believe in it and I know somewhere out there is someone for me. I know exactly how you feel. Edited February 28, 2013 by To be or not to be 2
Summer Breeze Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 I believe in love still Promises. I've had a few times in life when I didn't. We all get dings and hurts that take the wind out of our sails but most of us recover. The one thing I will say is that love to me is not the same as it was when I was 20 or 30. I don't look at it the same way and I don't expect the same things I did. Going through life and maturing causes you to look at things differently. I think you'll recover to find love again Promises. It may not look the same as it did before or now. But I bet you'll find it. 2
spice4life Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 is it even possible? I suppose there is always that strand of hope that love will happen, but, right now, honestly I am not sure it exists. I am doing really well. But, love in a partner is not something I think I believe in any more. It's sad, but, I really think it's a farce. Not even real. Don't give up on love, promises. You might feel this way right now because you're still healing, but you will find love again.
jwi71 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 is it even possible? I suppose there is always that strand of hope that love will happen, but, right now, honestly I am not sure it exists. I am doing really well. But, love in a partner is not something I think I believe in any more. It's sad, but, I really think it's a farce. Not even real. I will NEVER EVER EVER fall in love again. Or even date. Its all bullshyt. -Aaaaaaaand I'm married again.
TheOW Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 I don't want to love again, I put everything of myself into relationships and much much more with Xmm it wasn't and never will be enough. I would quite happily never love again it hurts to much, I think al buy 12 cats when my kiddos leave me
Pierre Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 If you expect LOVE to make you happy you will be very disapointed. If you are very happy on your own LOVE is an added benefit. It you have a heartbreak and you needed LOVE to be happy you will be crushed very badly. It you have a heartbreak but you do not need LOVE to be happy the pain is very short lived and you walk away with little difficulty. LOVE is amazing when used properly. LOVE can be awful when used improperly. 1
Catplates Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 is it even possible? I suppose there is always that strand of hope that love will happen, but, right now, honestly I am not sure it exists. I am doing really well. But, love in a partner is not something I think I believe in any more. It's sad, but, I really think it's a farce. Not even real. Too soon for you yet Primises. I had the good steady reliable kind of love in my marriage for 33 years. I was soooo lucky. Then fate stepped in and he died. Give yourself time. You are disillusioned and hurt at the moment. Best wishes, Cat 2
MissBee Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 is it even possible? I suppose there is always that strand of hope that love will happen, but, right now, honestly I am not sure it exists. I am doing really well. But, love in a partner is not something I think I believe in any more. It's sad, but, I really think it's a farce. Not even real. It's normal to feel like that, even after non A break ups. It usually passes and you usually indeed love again.
Author promises Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 It's normal to feel like that, even after non A break ups. It usually passes and you usually indeed love again. I'm not so sure, Miss Bee. I'm really not so sure on this.
Author promises Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 If you expect LOVE to make you happy you will be very disapointed. If you are very happy on your own LOVE is an added benefit. It you have a heartbreak and you needed LOVE to be happy you will be crushed very badly. It you have a heartbreak but you do not need LOVE to be happy the pain is very short lived and you walk away with little difficulty. LOVE is amazing when used properly. LOVE can be awful when used improperly. Being happy and being in love with a man are too different things. I am not, not happy. I am fine. I just don't believe that I will have it. I'm not being dramatic either. I just do not believe that it was meant for me. Which is a cruel f*cking joke. But, nonetheless, true.
Pierre Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Being happy and being in love with a man are too different things. I am not, not happy. I am fine. I just don't believe that I will have it. I'm not being dramatic either. I just do not believe that it was meant for me. Which is a cruel f*cking joke. But, nonetheless, true. Being in love while one is intrinsically happy is way different from being in love when one needs that love to be happy. In any event it would be highly abnormal if a person fell in love right away after breaking up.
seren Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Promises, time passes and hearts heal, they may be battered and scarred and always carry a part that has been hurt, especially if it has been hurt by love. I am sorry you feel that you will never feel love for another and think that if you close yourself off to trusting someone with you, then you will find it hard. BUT, I also think that gradually a person can just slip under your skin and gradually, trust and love can happen. Before I met H I thought to never, ever trust a person enough to let them in, and yet I did, initially with suspicion and when he got to the last hurdle I would put up my walls to hide behind as I feared being hurt, yet he just kept trying and that was when I knew I had found a keeper. Even after all we have been through, I have never not loved him and I do that with all that I have. He reciprocates. I hope that it doesn't take you as long as it took me to trust someone enough to let them in and that when you do, they will be a keeper. Give yourself time to heal. x
Lillyfree Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 yeah, i'm there with you promises. i know i'm jaded and bitter now, but i don't hold any hope that my opinion will change in the future. actually, don't even think i want it.
MissBee Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I'm not so sure, Miss Bee. I'm really not so sure on this. Well you write your life how you want to right? I don't know how profitable it is to believe that love doesn't exist. I'd rather not believe that personally. I can also see how believing that sort of makes it true for you. Let's reconvene 3 years from now and see if you're singing the same tune. I hope not. But for now, your response is pretty typical of someone still healing from heartbreak. I wanted to also comment on TheOW's post in which she said love hurts and she invested so much in xMM. Loving and investing in the wrong person can indeed hurt. I think investing in a married person is often the epitome of "wrong person." Simply loving someone doesn't make them not a liar, not married, not whatever they are. We have to be smart about our "love investments". It's a bad idea 9/10 times to invest in a married person. That doesn't prove that love hurts or doesn't exist. It proves that loving and investing in sketchy circumstances is often unprofitable. People's hearts do get broken in non-A scenarios as well...but you know what, relationships are our teachers and sometimes the heartbreak is for a lesson and not all relationships are meant to last forever. People also invest poorly into single relationships. But hopefully, with time we learn when and in whom to invest our love and not throw it around carelessly while hoping for the best.
stevie_23 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I still believe in the goodness of certain PEOPLE and how they are able to use love in a positive way to enrich those they love, and are loved by. Enrich their lives. If you are looking for love itself, and not a specific person, you will most likely end up attracting the type of person who will not give you what you need and will not make you happy. Even if you do find a person who truly loves you, it doesn't always work out for various reasons. And yes, many people do not know how to love. Probably including myself. I get need and love mixed up a lot and this leads to selfishness. I think a lot of people have this same problem. Does "love" really exist in a pure, selfless, all encompassing sense? I believe it does, but it's harder to find than most people really realise.
Tenacity Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 Being happy and being in love with a man are too different things. I am not, not happy. I am fine. I just don't believe that I will have it. I'm not being dramatic either. I just do not believe that it was meant for me. Which is a cruel f*cking joke. But, nonetheless, true. I am right where you are, promises. I don't believe it either. Maybe we will be proven wrong someday. As long as we are living our lives as best we can. It doesn't take long for someone to come into our life and change it forever. We have the future ahead of us. When you least expect it. Maybe. That's good enough for now, right? Better than complete disbelief. Maybe...
Pierre Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 It doesn't take long for someone to come into our life and change it forever. We have the future ahead of us. When you least expect it. Maybe. That's good enough for now, right? Freudian slip? What do you mean?
Silly_Girl Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 is it even possible? I suppose there is always that strand of hope that love will happen, but, right now, honestly I am not sure it exists. I am doing really well. But, love in a partner is not something I think I believe in any more. It's sad, but, I really think it's a farce. Not even real. I PROMISE you, Promises. There is life after your most recent love. A new love, in a new shape and style, but fulfilling and wonderful. I never believed it but I am, in 4 months, marrying the most amazing guy. I'm a total convert where Love after Love is concerned. 1
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