Been over a week since split and NC, but it's getting tougher to not contact her

[Ryan_B]

Last Wednesday my girlfriend of 7 months ended things with me. Over the last 2/3 months of the relationship we had a few arguments and I think it just got a bit too much for her. But when we weren't arguing, we were pretty much perfect for each other. We went out most days, had a laugh all the time, were very close and we really were in love with each other. She had previously been engaged but told me she had never felt the same about anybody else, that she felt for me. She has depression and health issues and I was always there for her, being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. We even went on holidasy for a week for valentines the week before she ended it. She said I'm not what she is looking for in somebody to settle down with and that she would rather just be ''very special, close friends''. I was heartbroken. She is my first ever girlfriend (We are both 20). She said she still loves me, but not in a relationship/romantic way. She loves me as a person and said that there is not a bad bone in my body and that I have never hurt her, it's just she doesn't see herself with me. She won't take me back as she said she'd just be leading me on and it wouldn't be fair. I still love her, so much, and would give my right arm to be back with her but I know that can't happen. I have cut off all contact (I told her I would) but everyday I am so close to speaking to her. I'd love to have her in my life, but if we were just friends, it'd be torture. I'd love to be able to be close friends in the future though. She said she wants us to be how close we were for the 2 months I knew her before we got together. I can't stop thinking about her. Thinking of all the good times we had. She is the perfect one in my mind. I love her, everything I do remind me of her, everywhere I go I have memories of her. I'm a football (soccer for you Americans!!) fan, and on Saturday I'm going to an away game to the City we spent valentines day! It'll be horrible. I'm not coping at all, and would die to get back to how we were 3/4 months ago, it was so perfect. But I know we will never be together again. What do I do? I'm really not coping very well at all

[gravi1]

Its true, but like someone told me in one post on this site, this experience will prepare you for more in future, to appreciate when you meet someone that will fit your profile. Do not dispair you will overcome with time, you were not a perfect fit. She was engaged once you have not loved before, you want to explore this love, she is dealing with deep set rejection. This is probably like when a jet fighter is refueling midair-(national geographic).You move around too much and she needs to be still. Ok if that is too much-

 

My first love held my hand one day many years ago and told me as gentle as she could, that she was in love with a guy named Ernst. Up to date, I hate all that is Ernst in this world. Well she shocked me in and out sense. I just said ok and walked away. Later that evening I asked myself what just hapened, I was relieved that she was with Ernst now because I reasoned that I loved her too much and I couldnt bare loosing her later, better to admire her from afar.

 

I was wrong, I should have fought for her and be with her until Ernst took her away and be happy that I had experienced her love.Sounds confusing, but be happy that you had the oportunity to grace her heart.It is heartbreaking to have lost her and pain will be araound for a while, perhaps she will come back one day.